So I have a hard rule that I never get involved sexually or romantically with anybody I work with. Ever.
I break my “wear a condom” rule but NEVER this. The problem I’m running into is my office is overwhelmingly women. I’m also the youngest guy (26) and in good shape and all that stuff.
These women in their 30s-40s (and there are younger/older ones too but most are middle aged) ask me when I’m going to get a girlfriend at least once a week if not every other day. Every time we have a potluck or something and we’re just chatting it gets brought up. It really bothers me because there are a lot of people at these including our higher ups. Even our Director. I always respond with saying how expensive girlfriends are or how I don’t have time or if they really press me I basically admit I sleep with multiple women but don’t do anything “serious” with any of them. One of my favorites when being pressed was saying I don’t have a girlfriend but several “gal pals” and they all thought that was hilarious. They all knew exactly what I meant when I said that... Or I joke that I’m picky and girls need to send me a resume and 3 references before I consider dating.
They tried setting me up with one of the college intern girls and I shut that shit down so fast it was like an MLB fastball coming in hot. Straight up said I don’t do shit with co-workers period. The intern girls are cute and I chat with them often just because there’s nobody else really my age but I’m not making a move on them come hell or high water.
They’ll casually put a hand on my shoulder or arm and things like that too when talking to me. Some of them aren’t bad looking and I kind of get a kick out of it. Even my direct supervisor does this (and she’s probably one of the 2 hottest woman that works here so idgaf). They’ll also casually say shit like they can tell I work out and other stuff where if it was a girl at a bar I’d know it’s an IOI (which I know it is in this context too I just refuse to engage).
However, I’m not fucking around. It’s 2019 and I know how this shit works. As a man I’m always guilty. I can continue on never breaking my “rule” and still get in trouble.
I’m half tempted to go to HR and get this shit in writing. Problem is I genuinely like all my coworkers and don’t want to get anyone in trouble. I’m terrified though that I may refuse some more aggressive advance and then that person tries to get revenge or some petty shit.
I’ll be honest I try to follow the “Pence Rule” but how the fuck am I supposed to just say “sorry ladies not getting on the elevator or sitting in that office with you alone” without THAT coming off as inappropriate and potentially backfiring and getting me in trouble for “sexism” or whatever.
Idk. My career is everything to me. I’m not putting in these 50-60 hour weeks every week and working weekends for my health or enjoyment.
Just wondering if any other guys have been in similar situations and how you handled it. Like I said I really really really don’t want to go to HR because I feel like that’s opening Pandora’s Box but I also feel terrified about not having this stuff documented.
Any advice would be appreciated.