Anyone else look around and realise that everyone around them is not where they want to be in life?

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August 11, 2019
277 upvotes

Just starting to realise how unfulfilled and lost 99% of people are. That’s the real red pill for me.

Especially when you realise you are one of them.


Post Information
Title Anyone else look around and realise that everyone around them is not where they want to be in life?
Author TheShearerComplex
Upvotes 277
Comments 64
Date 11 August 2019 07:48 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit askTRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/248283
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/cp1dro/anyone_else_look_around_and_realise_that_everyone/
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the red pill
Comments

[–]jonsmif9797120 points121 points  (27 children) | Copy

Yes, especially when you started a few months of RP, and when you are in your early 20s seeing your friends chasing fun and validation.

I was unhappy for a while after a year into college and when I was in LTR. My ex had depression, and I followed the BP script of being empathetic and understanding of her problem. Then, I was done with all the emotional shit. Then I looked around and I felt a gloomy vibe glowing from everyone including myself. Career-driven friends couldn't secure internships, partying friends struggling with GPA and contemplating dropping out, etc. Perhaps my mind was tricking me into seeing things when I felt the hollowness.

Then I broke up with my ex. Then I looked at the script that I have been operating on after I started college.

- Do things the smart way aka take shortcuts.

- Follow the herd. Chase after that cool internships because I will be recognized and approved and my status will shoot above the roof.

- Lifestyle oscillating between two extremes of toxicity - chasing short-term gratification such as video games, youtube, social media, porn, going to as many networking events as possible to pat myself on my shoulder and delaying rewards until retirement such as being a workaholic, etc.

Then I say fuck me. I wanted out. I felt uneasy looking at myself, who has become an adult that I dreaded becoming when I was young. Now I am working on myself, and I feel more alive being single and living in my own reality, all the while constantly moving forward to become a better self.

[–]GucciGangBucks35 points36 points  (12 children) | Copy

Interesting write up. Best time I’ve had in my life (which is right now actually) is when I dedicated myself to nothing but self improvement. All I do every day is work a job that I somewhat enjoy, lift, play basketball, mma, and run. All shit I love to do. I don’t even talk to women that much anymore because I just constantly do shit I enjoy and want to do what I’m doing the be be wasting my time for dates/etc.

Currently loving life. I wouldn’t care if I spent the rest of my life doing this.

[–]Walkerstain4 points5 points  (6 children) | Copy

Is there such things as a job someone can actually enjoy and pay the bills at the same time? I'm starting to realize these things don't actually exist and only fall in the range of "somewhat", "kinda", "an interest but not a passion".

[–]TrillegitimateSon5 points6 points  (2 children) | Copy

Sure they're out there, but you're going to need a 'real' job to support yourself for as long as it takes you to lay the groundwork to live off a job that you legitimately enjoy.

I'm an audio engineer (6 years), do video editing on the side (1 year), and make porn with my ltr (1 year doing porn). We clear 65k a year together pre tax, nothing crazy but we both work from home and make money off our sex. The real value is in the freedom and fulfillment I get from owning 100% of the value I create.

I worked shit jobs for a couple years out of high school being broke as fuck living with 4 roommates in a college town type shit. I fucking hated the 9-5 grind. It made me suicidal. Just not for me, personally. That's what I used to fuel my passion for learning a real skill that I can market myself.

So they're out there, but they're also what everyone wants to do so you're going to have to put years of yourself into it if you want to sustain yourself from it.

[–]WabbleWobb1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Any advice on how you got business as an audio engineer and video editor? Thats basically what im trying to do

[–]TrillegitimateSon0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Networking (craigslist, facebook, fiverr, etc. You have infinite resources in Audio/video because you can do everything remotely), and having the skills to back it up. Being easy to work with, yet decisive. Learning to recognize potential in artists you're working with, so that as you lift up the quality of their content they're coming back to you for more and more. You might have to do a little job for free to flex your skill and pull in a potential client, and recognizing potential ties into that so you're not just throwing away time. Some people need schooling to give them the discipline to build the skill, I kinda walked into it by being a fucking nerd in high school and spending a lot of time on computers and listening to music. Audio engineering is the natural intersection of the two things I enjoy most.

It's very relationship based. Artists will go to people who have objectively less skill because they like them as a person. TRP has helped me personally in this sense. Being a good host, having an impressive looking studio to 'wow!' clients, taking control of the environment to stay productive, not letting people get too fucked up, essentially just alphaing the fuck out of the situation will actually pull the best work out of an artist. This requires a bit of nuance as you don't want to make their music decisions for them, but give them the opportunity to put out their best performance and knowing when to tell them it's time to try that again, but better.
shout out to my girl, she understands the importance of her role in the business when we have clients over. She will prepare us food and drinks, do any quick runs to the gas station for booze/blunts, and other menial tasks that take away or interrupt the creative vibe in the studio. Creature comforts like that go a long way toward building a relationship with artists, and if you have 10 people who you're getting $250/month in work from, that's $2500/month and before you realize it you're are able to subsist off of that.

If you're going to record at a professional studio for $150+/hr, or almost as good home studio for $50/hr where you're getting home-cooked meals and cool people, most artist types are going to choose the second.

To the above posters point, there are going to be shit that you don't like that you're going to be paid to work on. IMO this is the worst it gets, and the only time things really feel like a 'chore' for me.

[–]GucciGangBucks2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

My job pays like shit. But I enjoy it. Plus I have a lot of friends there. Whenever I go to my job my friends and I just shoot the shit for 8 hours. can’t complain.

It pays the bills and I can buy meals. Occasionally I can get a pair of Jordan, nice shirt, or whatever so I’m happy.

Keep in mind I’m 24 so I’m willing to settle for less at the current moment because I don’t need to be making 100k to get by just yet.

[–]guywhoisambitious1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

As I wrote in another comment, I recomend the book, "Unscripted". I think it will answer your question.

[–]Naebany0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Well sure. There might be. Like being a YouTube or a travel agent for some time. Or Profesional gamer. Or artist or whatever. But I think there's always a point when you get fed up with your passion and you're forced to continue doing it cause you need to pay bills. So I guess kinda and somewhat is the best you can do in a long run. Unless you keep on doing new stuff. But that might be hard to maintain in a long run. And might not be too profitable if you keep on starting over.

[–]Project_Zero_Betas0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

There's few things in life as enjoyable as mapping out a plan to improve yourself and actually see the results.

[–]theredsperg 1 points [recovered]  (3 children) | Copy

everyday you accept your place in the race of a slave to the working man. ok buddy, you do you.

[–]GucciGangBucks0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

So you assume just because I work a job currently I have no other aspirations I’m working on?

[–]theredsperg 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy

Currently loving life. I wouldn’t care if I spent the rest of my life doing this.

You said all you do is work, lift,play basketball,mma and run?

I made that assumption yeah

[–]GucciGangBucks1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yea, I would spend the rest of my life doing those things because I enjoy it.

[–]ZeppKfw20 points21 points  (4 children) | Copy

What's wrong with doing 50% less work for 100% effectiveness? Can you further explain why working smart is bad?

[–]jonsmif979745 points46 points  (3 children) | Copy

There's nothing wrong in doing 50% less work for 100% effectiveness. But the thing is, do you really know how to evaluate effectiveness?

For example, I could only spend the night before an interview cramming for the typical interview questions, and pass the interview and forget what I learn. To common people, it's effective and smart. You put in less work but get the same result (pass the interview right?)

But, compared to another person who spends a week preparing the interview by being mocked interview every day and pass the interview. He makes sure he keeps the recording of his mock interviews so he can rewatch it as he didn't trust his short-term memory. He is putting extra work than ordinary people, but the benefit is next time when he faces another interview, he can rewatch them and makes his interview performance much better.

In my opinion, both are smart, but one is doing 50% less work for getting immediate success, and the other is doing 110% work for getting the same success. Who is smarter? The latter, because he is making the life of his future self easier and better. That needs hard work and wiseness, and taking shortcuts usually compromise your long-term effectiveness.

Be wise rather than smart.

[–]ZeppKfw19 points20 points  (0 children) | Copy

You just nailed the explanation. Thanks for taking the time to write.

[–]celincelin-5 points-4 points  (1 child) | Copy

Interviews that need specific preparations are bullshit and therefore the less time you spend on that the better.

So no, the mocking and rewatching autist from your example is not smarter.

[–]umizumiz1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

"What interests you about nuclear fission?"

"I like interacting with the customers and helping them find the products they need."

"Umm... Next question..."

[–]alphadecember22 1 points [recovered]  (3 children) | Copy

Hey how would you describe how you work on yourself now? Did you switch career paths, more effort in your hobbies/interests etc? Just curious to hear more

[–]praxeologue12 points13 points  (2 children) | Copy

There's no wrong in doing 50% less work for 100% effectiveness. But the thing is, do you really know how to evaluate effectiveness?

Not the person you're asking, but I found that starting to listen to my internal voice telling me what I need to do, rather than listening to other people (family, friends, significant other, mental health professionals) was the catalyst that helped me work on myself.

It was more about moving from a passive, receptive mode (wait for someone to diagnose me, to help me sort my self out, show me how to live) into an assertive, self-assured mode (decide for myself what is important, realizing that you and you alone are the only person that can be the catalyst).

I'm sure other people have explained this better but it boils down to being a master rather than a slave.

[–]Project_Zero_Betas1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Only correct answer. Unless you're a legit invalid, no one knows what's best for you except for you.

[–]flowithego2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

This is the key. Living in your own reality.

I can’t fathom why and how so many people are playing their life to the same generic scripts that every one is tube fed.

You’re you. Build you.

[–]guywhoisambitious1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

Since you mentioned the script, I will recomend the book "Unscripted". One of my favourite books. It is about entrepreneurship

[–]jonsmif97970 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Thanks man!

I have downloaded it and started reading it - looks like an inspiring book.

[–]guywhoisambitious0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Yea it's great. His first book is amazing too. Better yet, when you finish, you will realize that there's a forum online with a bunch of like-minded people talking about ideas and execution and stuff. It's called The Fastlane Forum.

[–]salinorum49 points50 points  (5 children) | Copy

Well, we all have ideals. But life teaches a harsh lesson and that is utopia doesn’t exist. There is a lot of suffering and unfulfillment here and it’s inescapable. Even if you’re red pilled. Even if your Steve jobs. Elon musk. No one escapes the human condition.

It is nothing to be solved because it is unsolvable. The only true progress occurs once you accept your condition and begin to release your mind from its utopian expectations. A well rounded man has integrated and accepted suffering into his soul. And he is more at peace whether he is rich or poor.

Of course we should all strive to be better men, to maximize our potential, to leave a beneficial mark on the earth, on our children. Yet if we want peace at all, we must accept both the bad and good.

[–]lookoutitscaleb11 points12 points  (4 children) | Copy

I've actually been struggling with this lately.

I work my ass of running my business, to live in near squalor, work out, eat, and sleep. All for what? I get fed up and end up going out wasting money drinking and then lose a day recovering. I'm back on track and the sadness/loneliness I take in strides as an exercise in self control. While I'm cleaning, eating, or cooking at home I've been watching this anime called Code Geass. The anime really frustrated me because it had so much potential. Then the ending holy moley. It's literally all what you're talking about. Dealing with the human condition and being the change you want to see in the world. Mind shattering tbh, how even though things are rough they aren't that bad, and I'm not doing anywhere near as much as I could be. WHO TF am I to complain?

[–]Skkception20 points21 points  (3 children) | Copy

The "All for what" dilemma is the worst thing there is. It's around every corner, it's 9 min in to my intensive run where my legs are aching and my mouth is hurting cause it's so dry, it's at 6 am when I wake up and stumble to the bathroom to take a piss while I'm dreading the early hours, it's 2 hours in to my studying where I don't fucking get the question right. It's everywhere and for all this time I still can't find an answer.

I watched a Muhammed Ali interview which made so much sense with so little said, he said this when asked if he counts his sit ups: “I don't count my sit-ups; I only start counting when it starts hurting because they’re the only ones that count.” What I got out from this is that the only thing that matters is what you decide the outcome to be whenever you ask yourself the question "all for what" When my legs feel like they're about to break I keep pressing on because your mind gives up 1000 times before you body does. These steps I'm taking when I feel like hell is what separates me from the people who give up, they're what's defining me, all because I did not let the outcome be decided by what my excuses were trying to make me do. I reach my distance goal and and celebrate not because I deserve it, no one deserves anything in this world, but because I've earned it.

There are reasons for many things but for "All for what" is not one of them. There should not be any reason for pushing yourself because looking for reason is looking for an excuse. What you decide to do when you're on the edge of giving up is what builds your frame, it builds your character and it shows what you value, and that is control of your outcome. You have to go out on your own terms or you will lay in your deathbed regretting it.

Long comment but I've found courage while exploring this question and I want to contribute to this community for all they've done for me.

[–]justlafleur0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Damn, this comment made me tear up.

Beautiful.

[–]lookoutitscaleb0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Wow!

Thank you! That was beautiful.

Seriously that was everything I needed to hear.

I wish I was a mod so I could give you something for that. That is one of the most profound things I've read on RP.

[–]Kannonn0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Powerful stuff. I'm going to think about this when I'm deep into my top sets of squats later today.

[–]dtyler8636 points37 points  (8 children) | Copy

Totally. Occasionally people say, when I say something that is inescapably red pill, that I have little respect for women. My answer is always immediately “oh, we were just talking about some women in this conversation, but I have far less respect for most men than the aforementioned women. Men that check out of their awful job, live for the weekend, justify not working out, accept mediocrity as their norm, hate their girlfriends, take shit from their peers and dress like douche bags because it’s how they fit in and go home and play video games all day: THESE are the people I have no respect for”.

[–]Project_Zero_Betas18 points19 points  (7 children) | Copy

So true. Betas are absolutely disgusting.

[–]dtyler8611 points12 points  (6 children) | Copy

Yet people stalk my reddit habits and FLIP out and call me a sexist for being active in TRP. Makes me cringe and laugh at the same time. Usually its a beta ass guy saying it too.

[–]WildCock3011 points12 points  (0 children) | Copy

We were born with a script in our hand, regardless of whether we wanted it or not. It’s up to every single one of us to either drone on or shred the script. It’d be hell on earth for the powers-that-be for us to know our true strength, and choices in life, singularly and collectively. Keep on the path to enlightenment, physically, mentally, and spiritually, brother!

[–]Andrew5432123 points24 points  (1 child) | Copy

Yeah. Everyone around me has a goal they are working for. Its fucking awesome.

Edit: oops didn’t read the post text.

[–]Project_Zero_Betas9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy

Must be nice to not be surrounded constantly by crabs in a bucket.

[–]ZealousFeet10 points11 points  (1 child) | Copy

It's very therapeutic reading this and the comments. So times I feel lost and It can be stressful at times, but I forget that I am not alone.

[–]ollyollyollyoioioi6 points7 points  (2 children) | Copy

It's like a fuzzy feeling reading that. Like I can take my foot off the pedal a bit. I get so caught up searching for a purpose, I forget that so is everybody else.

[–]ScratchinCommander 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy

Knowing that everybody is on the same boat takes a bit of that anxiety/pressure off. Especially with social media everybody is living some other glorified lifestyle and forget to live their own life.

[–]Bigboyleggos2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Your very close to my outlook here.

Knowing that everybody is on the same boat

Were alllll experiencing life, everyday.

takes a bit of that anxiety/pressure off

I do my best to let this go...it seems anxiety = fear of judgement for most.

Especially with social media everybody is living some other glorified lifestyle

Most sit in the cabin, avoid the rain, the wind, the hail and point fingers. They stick their head out on ocasion and wonder why their view doesnt look like they want it to. On ocasion they can stick their phone through the port hole and take a pic, post it on fb and pretend to live without feeling the sun on their face.

and forget to live their own life.

They dont forget to, they fear it, they fear the scorn of the other crabs. See, The crabs in the bucket dont physically pull those trying to esape back in. No, they sit on their ass budlight in one hand, remote in the other heckling those climbing out of the bucket.

Lets go back to this...

everybody is on the same boat

We are, we are all on that boat called life. Be the dapper captain at the helm, sipping a fine bourban, enjoying that long night maintaining your course through rough seas twards the unknown. Be the capatain that smiles as the hail lands in his glass of bourban, smiling as mother natures shitstorm freshens up the fine bourbon.

Be the captain that holds no grudges against those that take shelter in the cabin for they haven't learned to embrace the beauty of work yet.

The next day, after the storm has cleared, THE Captain doesnt whine at the crew while they all nap on a beautiful island. The captain needs no praise for his evening at the healm, The captain simply enjoys the beach.

TRP teaches you to ignore the crews invitations to laze in the warm dry cabin, ignore the shame they give for being to "stupid" to seek shelter durring the storm. Instead, grab the healm, lean into the hail, wind and rain with a smile on your face and enjoy the adventure. When the crew asks how the weather is from the safe cabin, tell em the bourban is great!

[–]JedYorks10 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy

Life is a meme.

[–]FaP_caesar2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Im thinkin diff.

Many is livin they dreamz.

Very few is distracted.

Perhaps im lucky to be surrounded by a bunch of Redpill people.

[–]GlobalArachnid2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Exactly why I never bothered to do anything as a kid. Grew up in a family full of losers, everybody in my tiny little town were losers too. I knew from an early age that the people I grew up with weren't going anywhere in life, and I thought that despite my will to succeed and will to have sex and relationships at an early age that I wasn't going to succeed and that I'd end up like those in my little town no matter what I did. I mean, if people wanted to get out and earn money, wouldn't they just leave rural Australia and do it, right?

[–]Norrok872 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Literally had this reality check today.. Or maybe its been going on for a one, but the pieces finally clicked into place today..

For the last two years I've been feeling off.. Just.. I dunno.. A shadow of who I once was.. Almost going through a stage of mourning for the life I use to have.. And then the penny dropped.. Ive spent the last two years working on myself (from self development to just sorting adult shit out), and who I was prior spent way to much time playing video games, watching porn and no plans for the future..

Today the penny dropped that fuck who I was back then, I'm missing comfort and that bullshit lie of the "American dream".. I'm missing the bullshit fairytale Disney ending that I was told existed... I left the military chasing that shit dream, and when I got there I realised what a load of shit it is.. I looked around me and realised exactly what your saying here.. It's all a fucking lie.

So then began self development... the red pill... becoming the master of my own reality. A road I'm truly glad I started.

[–]TheJellyFishLiedToMe2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah dude. It seems like everyone's content with doing nothing with their lives.

This is why some people are leaders and some are followers.

[–]uptimex1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah, it is a small unnoticeable hidden idea in the deep corners of mind which throws people to hell: I don't deserve it.

[–]TRP Vanguardnicethingyoucanthave1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

We're wired for unhappiness, to a certain extent. It's a survival adaptation. You're supposed to yearn for something better so that you'll work to improve your (and your tribe's) position. You're supposed to climb the mountain and investigate the valley beyond - maybe there's better hunting ground there?

Advertisers key in on this instinct by telling you The Next New Thing (tm) will fill the hole and make you happy. But it really doesn't, does it

There are, however, things you can do that will fill that need (at least, better than a new iphone will). Self improvement is a big one. Any hobby where you build or repair something will do it. Stuff like that.

There's no perfect solution though. It will always be a journey. Just be thankful you're a man because the outlets for this instinct are plentiful and achievable, and will remain so all your life. Pity the women who chase attention and validation through social media to find fulfillment. As their beauty fades, they are in for a brutal crash. The ones who invested in family will be fine, but the ones who live online are in for a bad time.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Two truths and a lie:

  1. It's harder to do than it is to not.

  2. The identity of victim is better than the identity of failure.

  3. Most people are happy.

[–]Project_Zero_Betas0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

The identity of victim is better than the identity of failure.

There's a decent amount of girls I knew that would definitely agree.

[–]theislander8490 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Finding something you love to do in life is very hard.

Making that something pay your bills is even harder.

So... of course most people aren't fulfilled.

Combine that with the current culture of instant gratification, and you got yourself a societal crisis.

[–]OlderRedBrother0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

This is a great thread, please keep the philosophy coming, I'm enjoying reading and pondering this stuff.

[–]wkndatbernardus0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I've been reading the Sword and the Stone with my daughter lately (really interesting book, btw) and there is this awesome part about what to do when life depresses you or you feel angry/sad/upset. Merlin simply advises Arthur to learn something. Haha, that's it! Just start gathering knowledge or skill and the blues will dissolve like Alka Seltzer in water.

[–]Cametotherightplace0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Well sure, I think a lot of us would want to be incredibly rich, handsome and have oppurtunities just handed to us. Life isnt that sweet to a lot of us though. I'm not where I want to be, but I'm still happy and enjoy life and so do a lot of the people I associate with.

[–]W_O_M_B_A_T0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Just starting to realise how unfulfilled and lost 99% of people are.

Of course they aren't. People who are fulfilled don't accomplish anything interesting or impressive.

People who already feel safe don't protect themselves.

People who don't feel hungry don't eat.

Not sure why this is so surprising to you. Satisfaction is counter to survival.

[–]FilthyStylish-2 points-1 points  (0 children) | Copy

It’s because we have dreams and goals that are yet to be accomplished. This has nothing to do with TRP.



You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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