For those of you in relationships, or have been in one..

angels_fan_rp · 2019-05-12T14:07:51+00:00

My sister had some great advice.

Treat guys like puppies. Give them a LOT of affirmations when they do something good.

Men want to be women's hero's. It's up to you to make them feel that way.

Atlas_B_Shruggin · 2019-05-12T08:43:43+00:00

Lack of sex. Dating sex is hot and frequent. Married+post kids sex is grudging and tepid. If more men truly grasped the fact that sex is at its peak in the relationship precisely when his effort/commitment/time spent/expectations placed on him are at their lowest, few men would ever commit.
Lack of “fairness”. Bp society gives you the view that men and women are equal and men are allowed to be vulnerable too and bla bla. Lies. The way my wife and i function and perceive each other is very different, if i do something she does - like vent or complain or show any negative emotion at all basically, it will have an adverse effect. If i rely on her in any way it will have an adverse effect. Of course the reverse isnt true. Even if she tries to even things up and step up the way i do for her or get me to “open up” emotionally, her lizard brain wont let her do those things. Gender equalization has caused a lot of dissonance and confusion in our generation.

Biggest wish is that I had gotten my shit together in life much sooner and committed to a woman way later. I think i just chose a chick who isnt truly on my wavelength and it fucks a lot of things up. I would undo everything and choose a more irresponsible, artsy, laid back, naturally/consistently high libido woman and maybe not have kids. I would also pick a woman who is into music, philosophy, literature so I can have a conversation about that stuff and not have her zone the fuck out. Someone who is not a high strung OCD hyper materialistic nag would be nice.

[deleted] · 2019-05-12T23:01:58+00:00

As a man in a relationship (unmarried and monogamous with another woman), what are the 2 biggest issues you’re dealing with?

Need of resources and excess stress.

But I would say that you should focus on the latter, as the need of resources is a normal thing which will never end.

Regarding your relationship, what would you wish for more than anything else?

Someone who do not stress me more.

Men and women have serious differences in priorities, women's priorities which circle around socialization are a great deal of stress givers.

AutoModerator · 2019-05-12T07:47:37+00:00

Attention!

You can post off topic/jokes/puns as a comment to this Automoderator message.
For "CMV" and "Question for X" Threads: Parent comments that aren't from the target group will be removed, along with their child replies.
If you want to agree with OP instead of challenging their view or if the question is not targeted at you, post it as an answer to this comment.
OP you can choose your own flair according to these guidelines., just press Flair under your post!

Thanks for your cooperation and enjoy the discussion!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

passepar2t · 2019-05-12T08:08:58+00:00

My biggest issues were trying to succeed in the world and also try to keep my emotional problems to a minimum. If those things were taken care of, the healthy relationship would follow. Even if the relationship failed, I'd have a healthy way to move on from it and meet someone else.

PanderjitSingh_k · 2019-05-12T12:26:01+00:00

Don’t hide or minimize mental health problems.
Don’t be abusive.

someofthissomeofthat · 2019-05-12T13:37:42+00:00

How far we live apart, and conflicting schedules.
That she would be more flirtatious and a little more vibrant sexually.

crackrocksteady7 · 2019-05-12T13:56:52+00:00

As a man in a relationship (unmarried and monogamous with another woman), what are the 2 biggest issues you’re dealing with?

1) nagging 2) sometimes I catch her doing stupid shit and I have to try really hard to hold my tongue because she gets really hurt

The nagging gets really annoying sometimes, like when she nags me about drinking too much caffeine. I need 2 5hr energies and a monster a day to function properly leave me alone fuck

Regarding your relationship, what would you wish for more than anything else?

Most of my wishes are met. Outside of really nitpicky crap like I wish she had less junk all I've got is I wish she agreed with me more on politics

trueorfalsedmitry · 2019-05-12T15:31:19+00:00

I've been in 4 quite-LTR's in my life (>5 years, including one marriage).

1) In all of them, alpha-widowhood was the single biggest issue I had to try to deal with (always unsuccessfully). The second biggest was different in all of them.

2) Truth. My late college GF gave me that ("You're not close to the hottest guy I've been with, and I'd dump you in a heartbeat for any of the front-runners."), but I was far too young and stupid to really listen.

MrHerbSherman · 2019-05-12T16:15:39+00:00

My relationship problems are usually (1) the girls I pick are all over the place and unreliable and (2) they love drama

I always pick girls who are like that tho so it’s sorta on me I guess

What I would wish for more than anything else is that these sorts of girls could be reliable and steady and organized in the exact moments I want them to be so, and to be whimsical and silly and fun in the exact moments I want them to be so.

That isn’t realistic so a more realistic wish is greater willingness to shut her mouth when I need quiet

wingbark · 2019-05-12T19:33:16+00:00

Not really any issues yet.

I would wish she never ages

Spurius85 · 2019-05-13T01:42:53+00:00

I would like to chime in as a man who was in a monogamous, unmarried relationship for about 2 years that ended 9 or 10 years ago. This was before I took the Red Pill if that matters.

I believe the number one issue was conflicting values as the relationship progressed. In the beginning, I believed we had the same values, this turned out to be false. This led to conflict and, unfortunately, in many cases I was forced to choose between my adherence to my values or the relationship. Choosing to stick to my principles caused resentment on her part, however, choosing to let go of my principles led to a weakening of my sense of self. I was literally a different person at the end and this is one of the key reasons the relationship ended. It is vitally important that a man, first, has a very solid sense of who he is, what he believes in, and what his values are and second, gets to know a girl extremely well to vet her for similar belief systems.

The second issue was similar to the first. Couples ought to have three different lives, the man's, the woman's, and the couple's. I had my own life, she really did not. Not being Red Pill aware I made the mistake of allowing my life to become our life. This became very burdensome over time because she was reliant on me to be the source of entertainment and life contentment. It should be obvious how dysfunctional that is. I have come to realize that it is a sign of maturity that a person has developed their own distinct life and the contentment that follows. So look for a mature partner and be a mature partner and you will have a mature relationship.

Looking back, I wish I was Red Pilled earlier. What a colossal waste of my time and energy. It took years to find my sense of self again. I had never realized how dispiriting a relationship could be, so if I had a wish for future relationships it would simply be that they be invigorating to the soul.

SqueaksScreech · 2019-05-13T06:46:52+00:00

Not a guy but my relationship is pretty chilled. My partner knows I'm not the jealous type, insensitive and show little to no empathy towards others. I make sure to communicate with my partner to see where he's at mentally, what his sexual needs and wants are, and ask what they're comfortable with. I actually try to be considerate towards him. He has a lot of freedom because I am very independent and don't like clingy. I'm not the type that wants to spend every second with my partner it's too much. I huge on self care. I believe everyone should find what's good for them and slowly improve and take care of themselves first.

trangilbert3 · 2019-05-14T05:22:09+00:00

Women's crazy hormones and lack of control over them.
Grow up. We all have hormones. Nobody gets a pass except 13 months for pregnancy and up to 2 years for menopause. But that's it. After that. Be an adult please.
Women's lack of problem solving. Sure they can find problems. But they just bitch about them and never find adult solutions.
Then there's laziness. You're not a cat, y'all don't get to sleep all day. Y'all got duties to perform. Chop chop!! And I know being messy and leaving clothes and tissues and makeup everywhere is fun but it's not what adults do. You're not a pig either.
Life isn't a Disney movie. It's gonna get boring. Deal with it maturely.
Know who you are before getting into a serious relationship. Stop pretending to be normal for the first 6-15 months. If you're hormonal and can't control it 💯 then tell us so it's not a surprise and we know to control you.
I love you is not code for ... you can get fat.
Sex. Sex. Sex. 1-2 times a day. Sex is not a tool or a hostage. Women need to understand that if men had a vagina for a left hand, we would not be having this discussion.
Cognitive dissonance. Don't do it.

What I would wish for more than anything. To find a woman who is truly equal to me in all aspects. A fair deal from the universe.

Title	For those of you in relationships, or have been in one..
Author	trangilbert3
Upvotes	2
Comments	108
Date	May 12, 2019 7:47 AM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/bnmkac/for_those_of_you_in_relationships_or_have_been_in/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/for-those-of-you-in-relationships-or-have-been-in.255808 https://theredarchive.com/post/255808

Comments