(my first post - not sure how to flag it as "discussion")

I enjoy reading /r/datingoverthirty as mental wanking material. I have observed that a sizeable number of its female posters have a rule of not having sex with a man before they become exclusive. I experienced this firsthand for the first time this week.

Earlier this week, I had a Bumble date with a 38-year-old woman. 5'1" and in good shape but clearly had some work done. Lip injections and Botox, for sure. (this will be relevant later) Pretty early in the date it came up that I'm married (I am upfront about this on the first date) so that wasn't going to work for her but we might as well shoot the shit while we finish our drinks.

Discussing dating in general, she mentioned that she does not have sex before exclusivity. I laughed and got her to admit that she didn't always follow that rule. When I asked why she follows that rule now, she said something like, "I didn't know any better and now I know my true value". lulz ok sweetheart

What does that even mean and where does this idea come from? I didn't push the discussion much further at the time because I wanted to enjoy my drink and the conversation rather than soapbox, but this strikes me as exactly the opposite strategy to be followed. Being 38, she had much less SMV than she did when she was 23. She certainly knows this because she had work done - she didn't get the Botox to look older. Assuming she could even know if the man was exclusive to her, why would a man with options wait for exclusivity before having sex with her? There are enough women who don't follow this rule that he's going to with one of them rather than the one who's decided to roleplay a Quaker. Beyond that, this rule sends a great signal that the woman has the attitude of granting sex as a reward or withholding it as a punishment based upon the man's compliance with her whim. What does a woman seek to accomplish with this rule other than to weaponize sex from the beginning? It surely cannot be about "knowing my value" because absent some ugly duckling/She's All That situation, there is no way a woman in her 30s has more SMV than she had in her 20s.