Hi,

so i've been recently reading lots of stuff about relationship analytics on PUA blogs, Reddit, etc. I found it really interesting and the idea that a relationship finds its equilibrium between the dominant attitude of the male and the submissive attitude of the female made a lot of sense whether you look at it from a biological, evolutionary, social point of view.

And well I have witnessed myself in real life that women are mostly attracted to the display of power and confidence, by the "alpha male" as it's called.

What bothers me is the following : as a man, if you want a woman, you have to make the approach almost all the time. That's how actually a lot of people seem to describe the primary aptitude of the alpha : he approaches women.

But when you approach someone, you basically say "Hey, you're good enough for me, I like you. Do you like me ? Am I enough for you ?".

Isn't it kind of paradoxical ?

As the alpha male, you're the supposedly the prize, you're the best, you're not looking for any validation, you validate others. But how can you be the demandant and the validant ? When you approach a woman you give her the power, don't you ? The absolute power. It does not matter if you're rich, it doesn't matter if you're handsome, you can be a 10 and approach a 5 and the 5 can still push you away. It's not likely if you're a 10 vs a 5 but it remains a possibility.

So by doing this, you're putting yourself in a submissive position. Doesn't mean you can't take your dominant position back after, it's only a temporary state. But a decisive state. The most important one that determines if there'll be something or not at all.

I could even add that you're never sure to regain the position of the dominant because even if the woman says yes, you don't know why she said yes. She might have said yes because she found you really appealing. She might have said yes because you were ok, just a guy not too bad. She might have said yes like she would have said yes to any other guy (at least you saved money compared to a hooker, but...).

So how is your pride of "alpha male better than the pleb" getting away with it ?

You put yourself in a submissive position, you wait for validation of girls who are maybe less attractive than you, you go through their annoying flirting tests and in the end as I said above you don't even know to what extent they're playing you.

Doesn't sound really alpha, does it ?

​

I'm not trying to be the devil's advocate or anything. It's just that in my idea the real alpha male would be a guy so great he just draws every woman to him and never asks anyone about anything. But this guy does not exist right ?

So how do you deal with it ?

Is it something you've come to accept ?