In my opinion being sexually unsuccesful as a man doesn't imply a big fault in either your personality or looks.

I myself am pretty unsuccesful and even were a kissless virgin until my late 23. And I am not the only one. It always annoys me when they get portrayed as fat neckbeard losers.

It just takes an unlucky but still pretty combination of things:

  • Mostly male outer social circle [female and male friends that mostly are friends with men] [also implies no pre-selection]
  • Approach Anxiety [without a fitting social circle you need to approach strangers]
  • Looks not good enough (but still not bad) to overcome these other two problems.

Personally despite being unsuccesful I've noticed the success bold (and in my case mostly drunk) approaches can give you. You end up making out with a girl you've never met before a few minutes after meeting and sometimes end up in bed with her. Great

But at the same time approaching a stranger seems like something activelly trained out of young men. As a kid I approached everybody, I also wouldn't call myself exactly shy in every regard except for approaching. But then I was taught not to talk to strangers to not annoy them/fall for stranger danger. That got reinforced with a lot of talk about not annoying/approaching women randomly (and overhearing a few women be like "ewww that dude (someone I knew) just hit on me") I think things like that are a major reason for approach anxiety.

Pre-Selection helps heavily. Seen it with my self. Went partying with a good looking female friend of mine and randomly got my hand grabbed and pulled over by some other chick (if I were that chick my approach anxiety would totally kick in). But it isn't really easily aquireable for alot of guys. It can happen easily, especially if you work/study in certain fields, that you can end up with mostly male friends.

Well and super hot looks can obviously overcome all that, but very few people are blessed with that.

For example I've met a pretty cool woman a while ago. We dated for a bit (didn't work out because we want different things in the future and she already dated a bunch of guys and was active for much longer and was already looking for a relationship to last a life time, while I want some non-serious fun before I even want to think about that). Then we became fwb for a tiny bit (she liked my butt or something) before she got into a relationship again. Funnily enough that woman never believed me that I am shy, because after she initially approached me, I wasn't anymore (duh).

Lately I've been partying with her as well. She knows my relatively short sexual history and also is pretty quick at noticing inexperienced guys. Last time we partied we met two dudes. In our opinion both were virgins.

One of them was a stereotype, ugly and not very social (but not unkempt nor fat at least) the other though was just a little bit small, shy and otherwise pretty cute and normal. Still he was 22 and probably a virgin.

We also talked a bit about those two later. Couldn't feel much more than pity for the first guy though. Not pretty (genetically) and completely broken in the field of social interactions (especially with women) without much hope for recovery. Funnily enough that same night I also got hit on by one of the rare aggressive women, but she was easily 12-15 years older than me and also hit on my female friend, so that doesn't count.

TL_DR: To be sexually unsuccesful as a man does not requrie a major personal or physical flaw, unlike the typical portrayal of late male virgins usually does.