[Discussion] Men of RP, did you have any toxic or absent parent figures who led you to RP ? Was your father BP? Women of RP, did you have any toxic or absent parent figures leading you to BP? Has an RP boyfriend ever turned you BP?

Xemnas81 · 2015-07-21T12:34:40+00:00

Dad is a blue pill in social/sexual dynamics; and "alpha/red pill" everywhere else. My mother is a feminist harpy who, I have come to be convinced, hates men, and tolerates my dad and me. They raised me to be solid BP: Supplicate, pedestalize women, defer to women. To their way of thinking, women are wonderful and do no wrong. Men are evil predators and borderline criminals.

bibibabibu · 2015-07-21T11:55:56+00:00

My dad was absent from my life after the age of 10. He was a good dad till then, but after a while he simply gave up. His father owned a successful chain of photo studios that he could've probably turned around and sold (they were eventually wiped out by the upcoming Digital Camera adoption trend), but he was content with just being a lazy storeowner that tended to the occasional customer and spend the afternoons watching TV and sleeping. We are friendly terms, but he's like that lazy bum roommate you don't mind and enjoy a occasional meal with but you don't respect or take seriously.

My mom is actually the perfect example of RP that I model myself after. She started in a poor family, ran off to the military to become an officer, and became a sales woman that at her peak was pulling in >$15K per month back in the 90s-2000s. She is hardworking, doesn't complain, and can make grown men wet their pants when she gets rolling. She isn't perfect, because I think doing this seriously impaired her emotional control, but overall She is the #1 reason why I would never accept RP's "AWALT" because she proved she as a mom was my RP, father figure, and gives me hope out there are women like her.

Iramadance · 2015-07-21T12:49:59+00:00

My father is the definition of alpha. He still pulls 20-something years old at age 48 with ease. But because of my parents divorce(which was mostly her fault), my mother raised me to be the opposite of him so I was BP as fuck. He slowly phased out of my life starting from elementary school then essentially disappeared in high school.

Xemnas81 · 2015-07-21T11:00:28+00:00

My context: My father is very BP, he is a slightly overweight, introverted comic book geek who my mother whipped then fell out of love with (nearly cheated on). I am sure that when I was a wee lad she cared for and respected him but by the time I was 14 he was treated more as a second class citizen. He was utterly divorce raped when I turned 16 and became depressed for a year. To this day my sister does not respect him for being passive aggressive, needy and in her opinion a whiney wuss. My mother re-married to a (marginally) more alpha (charismatic, socially confident, masculine) man when I was 19 at uni, he is now my step-dad and also cool. FWIW my stepdad is a salesman in and out of jobs so it's not like he had to have a high flying career, but it's given him good Game and he always makes the ladies laugh while getting away with negging/amused mastery too.

My dad has now been in a relationship with a woman who is close to obese (but I love her personality, and she does work out). This sounds like a shitty thing to say but if we are going by RP theory then the difference between a hot woman and an average woman is everything to the game. She is an established solicitor. My father will never understand RP, hypergamy etc. because he is not shallow enough for the SMP to bother him at all. As for their dynamic, idk what they're like alone but when they talk on the phone, it is so fucking lovey dovey my face goes inside out from the cringe. He does make her laugh, though, occasionally teases her and they go travelling.

His most alpha trait is his management position, which I guess makes him BB. He is smart enough to have held off marriage despite their being together for 5 years, I'd assume divorce rape would have been a clue towards that. is a loveable beta however, cares for his children a lot, a great uncle and all of his friends think fondly of him including my best friend's mom.

I never identified with my father as particularly masculine throughout my early adolescence, even before the divorce, as most of my memories of him past the golden years of piggybacks and trips to the beach are filled with him not being there (working overtime due to my mom's bad back) or ironing/mowing the lawn etc. for my mom. I would posit that this was an important reason for how I ended up wishing to emulate Hercules, leading me onto alphas in general-although my 7 year old self would not have been conscious of this.

Other reasons being that I was bullied for being Dyspraxic and needed a male power fantasy etc.

Quintus_Pillus · 2015-07-21T13:09:28+00:00

My father had lots of alpha traits when growing up. Had tons of lovers, did many interesting things, made tons of friends from all around Europe, etc. Then he met my mother and eventually married her. He gradually transformed from a man full of energy and life into a man with social anxiety who's been on antidepressants for years. Their relationship was my role model for my "feminist-based relationships".

Some years ago he stumbled into an old friend, whose life story was basically the same as my father. Somehow, between them, their old masculine energy reignited. They went on a trip to Eastern Europe and I'm 75% sure that my father cheated on my mother. I don't blame him, seeing as how attention and affection had been denied for years and years. This "dread game" had a profound impact on my mother, who's become much nicer overall. She's even become quite the anti-feminist, which amuses me deeply considering the things she said in the past.

Reginleifer · 2015-07-21T15:17:00+00:00

There was a serious disconnect between my parents' Asian blue pill attitude and the society around me growing up in the US, which was more RP because we lived in a working class area. My parents raised me like I was in East Asia, but with stricter curfews since they believed the US "had guns".

My parents had some things in common with people in their area (Dad doesn't buy these things, but he views Hennessey, Beamers and gold chains - not SWPL stuff - as symbols of wealth). But on other things, they radically diverged.

My mom made like the same money as my dad, my dad cooked and cleaned. I was raised to have short hair, wear no makeup etc, and my mom didn't wear heels so I didn't. But being raised in the US the girls around me would have their hair done, nails done, don't go outside without lipstick.

I attributed my bad skin to genetics and not the fact that my mom raised me to wash my face with bad soap. I looked at my dad and the other dads. Some white and black dads were somehow wider (not fatter) than my dad. I thought that having a build like "The Rock" was genetic - and not attributed to my father thinking that weightlifting was dangerous.

Men of all races disliked me equally. I just wrote off all these experiences (bad skin, my dad's physique, black and white girls being considered "hot" and us Asians "not") as racism. I was also raised with an abstinence mindset toward sexuality. I was also raised to be a non cooking type BB because in my ethnicity, the grandparents raise the kids so the concept of "housewife" doesn't really exist before age 50.

A prime example: I got a college level calculus textbook and some material on Microsoft Access for my 16th birthday. Other girls got a makeover or got to go "steady" with boys. When I was 18 my father bought me beer and told me I was an adult, also my parents told me I should watch sports (like badminton) to fit in.

One thing that clued me in to RP was a conversation between an Asian kid and a non-Asian kid in the library.

Non-Asian kid: You don't stand up and get out of the way when your dad comes in?

Asian kid: No... My dad's just my dad

Non-Asian kid: You have to respect your dad more because you know, he brings home the money.

Asian kid: Well my mom makes more than my dad

Non-Asian kid's mind is boggled

Also, between me and a non-Asian kid:

Me: well my mom can't cook

Non-Asian kid: oh, snap you just dissed yourself

Another:

Non-Asian kid: My dad is an electrician and makes $90,000 a year

Me: Whoa, that's a lot of dough. My mom used to do that but there are no jobs for her, so she has to work in other fields that make way less.

Non-Asian kid: What union is your mom in

Me: My mom went to a polytechnic, not a university.

(I didn't know that electrical engineering was not the same as "an electrician". I didn't know what a union was either.)

so I sought out to learn about gender roles, regardless of well, the culture. I already had the economic part of RP from an immigrant background as well as an aversion to stuff like divorce. but the other stuff was more of a challenge.

MindTheFuture · 2015-07-21T13:18:54+00:00

Absent RP-father led to identification with mother, to a BP-rebellion of not being similar to dad, with "socially aware" upbringing by politician mother. As years have passed I'm seeing the wisdom in fathers ways. Curiously my sisters rebellion turned her to a masculine woman, though both might have made the mistake of trying to be similar person to which one is attracted to.

RedManBearPig · 2015-07-21T13:51:22+00:00

In a previous thread I went on a rant about my horrible sad father who left me, my mother and my sister when I was six. One of his reasons was the fact that he couldn't handle my mother, how beta can it get. Sad part is he couldn't even handle us as children. That fact still baffles me.

Years later he dated and eventually married a woman who more or less started to take control of his family life, pushing me and my half-brother out of his life(my sister had passed away before that time). How spineless he is made me determined to never be a fucking squid. I gained a lot of "RP knowledge" before even discovering reddit, but the lack of having a proper father figure is one of the big things that left me a mess. A mess that I need to clean up myself. I need to be better than both my parents together and the Red Pill gives me the reminders why I need to become a better human.

cxj · 2015-07-21T14:26:03+00:00

My Dad is a textbook stereotypical beta feminist male. Outside of his marriage he is actually quite alpha in the "leader of men" context as a labor organizer and in local politics, he has consistently been in the local newspaper since I was a kid. But I have watched him try all the typical stuff with my mom, being loving and caring, open communication, etc, and get shit on by my mom for decades for it.

I would describe my mom the same way u/Atlas_B_Shruggin described hers: the AWALTest AWALT who ever AWALTed. She is a recovering alcoholic/narc abuser who was mostly absent from my life from age 9 to 14, and the only real parenting i recall her doing is when I was very young. Imo she was actually a great parent by teaching me via example that it is a bad idea to trust or rely on women in any way, or to have any expectations from them at all, ever. Maybe this is why I never had the stereotypical trp anger phase, womens behavior was no real surprise to me thanks to my Mom.

Xemnas81 · 2015-07-21T16:01:08+00:00

I am really hesitant to talk about my parents, but yeah, my father is a similar mixture of alpha and beta like other users described here.

Mostly alpha out of the house and beta in the marriage.

This mixture seems to be common in my dad's generation.

I see it less in my generation.

I look up to my father as he is a great man who helps everyone out and is really caring. But on the other hand he sacrifices his own happiness for others in an (in my opinion) unhealthy way.

Lonny_zone · 2015-07-21T18:03:54+00:00

My parents divorced at a young age, since then I have watched my father go from marriage to marriage my entire life, the consummate Beta Bux, stacking divorce settlements, refusing to listen to me every single time, thinking "this one is different."

His last wife annulled the marriage within mere weeks after finding out he was not going to be able to fix her bankruptcy woes (being financially strained by multiple alimonies) yet he still believes in love. I blame his upbringing, he was raised by a single mom and had nothing but sisters for siblings. He will die a beta.

I got my first taste of red pills from seeing women play the good wife until they are actually married, then demanding the world from him until he would finally try to assert himself, at which point divorce was imminent.

Edit: Throughout my childhood the only presence my dad really had in my life was financial. He was always working (or with his second family after the divorce) and I never saw him and he never gave me any advice, now, obviously, because he had no advice to give.

Edit 2: I am forgetting I was both babied and belittled by my mother the entire time.

f3yleaf · 2015-07-21T11:43:10+00:00

Father is rp is fuck, I went bluepill for awhile as part of a teenage rebellion.

Ekaj_B · 2015-07-21T11:04:28+00:00

My dad suffers from depression (like me) and is a borderline alcoholic. I'd say my mum is a bit too coddling but from this combo I don't really know how I ended up so shy with low confidence, low self-esteem (the polar opposite of my younger brother who has slept with hundreds of women).

99_Problem · 2015-07-21T14:27:29+00:00

Got a couch I can lay on?

Mother is passive-aggressive, father is just passive. Both are overprotective, and I'm an only child so that makes it worse. They were good (perhaps great) parents during my early childhood, but my mother was (still is?) a self-proclaimed man-hater. Both mom and dad are faaaarrrrr out of touch with my generation, and things fell apart during my adolescence and teenage years. The way they grew up is worlds different than how I grew up. Neither of them made much effort to understand or embrace my personal interests (music, art, pop or counter culture), which they regard with disdain. Mom has never held a job in my life, is overweight to the point of limiting her movement and mobility and complains about it, yet has never made a true effort to change her eating habits. Dad was a service-tech for IBM, was offered a sweetheart early-retirement deal during the "downsizing" of the late-80s/early-90s and took it. He went back to school (university) and earned two science degrees. But he hasn't really done anything with his education. Dad reads books and plays computer games, and it's been that way most of my life.

Mom never really did the traditional housewife stuff (cooking, cleaning). Dad never really did the traditional husband stuff (maintaining the house and cars). Our house continued to fall into disrepair as I grew into a teenager, and it was embarrassing to have friends over, so I stopped. Never once tried to bring a girl over to spend the night. Also at some point (11-13) I got the idea that approaching girls was weird and wrong, and that's something I still struggle with today. Wasn't sexually active until 23, got attached to that first woman, got into a LTR that lasted way longer than it should have. Finally split up with her 7 months ago, and here I am.

prodigy2throw · 2015-07-21T15:19:07+00:00

Dad is insanely RP. Self employed, fixture in the community, close and personal friends with the PM of Canada and Mayor of Toronto among other notable Canadian politicians (Tory not Ford) before they got their respective positions. He immediately lights up a room when he walks in and can make friends with everyone. Even my close friends love hanging out with him. Simply because he will always give it to you straight. If you fucked up he'll tell you and he'll tell you how to fix it.

Came from a third world country with $1000 and worked his way up.

Sadly, we just never get along due to his heavy anger problems and verbal abuse which made me very quiet and reserved growing up. Not to say he didn't raise me well, if it weren't for him me and my sis both wouldn't have a fraction of the ambition and success we currently have. I just didn't respond as well to the yelling and berating.

Now that I'm a bit older we can talk here and there but it will always turn into an argument because we're both so strong headed.

alreadyredschool · 2015-07-21T17:57:27+00:00

Dad is a successful dark triad alpha and my mother is a very caring and loving person.

Xemnas81 · 2015-07-21T18:32:38+00:00

No. I simply went through a period in early adolescence where I was afraid and unsure with girls, who seemed to know things I didn't know. So, I decided to change that.

Successful, intellectual father, emotional stay-at-home mother.

Reginleifer · 2015-07-21T18:25:58+00:00

I already answered this question loads of times but traditional family, saw the errors of New Age type Marriages in other people's relationships.

despisedlove2 · 2015-07-21T18:26:17+00:00

My parents were both traditional in their marriage. Not necessarily RP, or BP.

I was a BP growing up. I moved to RP after my wife betrayed and abandoned me.

Prometheus720 · 2015-07-21T23:24:47+00:00

My father was absent and my mother was staunchly BP and very negative towards men, perhaps partially because of my father. When he was around, he was naturally fluid amongst other people. He was a VERY good salesman, in a way which I haven't yet matched, but he had many weaknesses including counterproductive envy, poor athletic ability/body awareness, poor emotional stability/control, and an overall cluelessness in how to treat women using either a BP or RP strategy.

I lived in a small, poor community, went to a poor school, and had poor role models. None of them male. I had to learn everything worth knowing by myself, and considering, I think I've done a damn fine job, although I know it was tougher for me than it would have been had I had a useful father.

One of my goals in life is to do what my father did not, and create a heritage of knowledge, honor, and sufficient wealth for the pursuit of happiness and self-improvement. His parents were nobodies, and my parents were effectively nobodies. I refuse to allow the same circumstances for any son or daughter of mine.

Wait_whatcolorwastha · 2015-07-22T01:46:32+00:00

My mother is the very definition of Narcissists Personality Disorder. She is the most toxic person in my life, she goes out of her way to make those around her suffer and then plays it off as if she's the victim. My father is definitely her BB, he makes the money but she controls everything. All the land he inherited through his family is legally in her name, so he can't divorce her without losing everything.

In my household getting knives thrown past your head was the normal, I was forced to sleep on the roof of our house naked when I was 10 because I got a B- on a math test, looking back through my childhood is like a textbook on dysfunctional families and toxic environments. There are many examples I could list, my family life is an ongoing episode of Jerry Springer, but I definitely came out of it better adjusted than my brother did. I'm now low contact with most of my family and basically relearning how to relate to other human beings.

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