Can people truly change their personalities after a certain age ?

cxj · 2015-07-03T21:26:05+00:00

"He wears a mask, and his face grows to fit it." - George Orwell

Humans are creatures of habit. If they keep doing something over and over again, they will start doing them naturally.

Only up to a point though, I do think that we all have genetic innate traits that can't be changed.

For example, I think some people can't happy with what they have no matter what it is. A woman who is married to a billionaire mega sports star alpha may have an affair with the pool boy. The pool boy is different and "better" in certain ways than the husband. A man who married a young virgin may get tired of her after a couple of years. He has an affair with an older slut. She is different and "better" in certain ways. Grass is always greener on the other side even though it doesn't make logical sense.

Atlas_B_Shruggin · 2015-07-03T20:25:45+00:00

Yes, I became a Realtor in my late 30s and faked a great deal of extro sales technique til it became second nature

Atlas_B_Shruggin · 2015-07-03T21:54:05+00:00

Why do most people fail at their new years resolution?
Why can't they lose 15 pounds?
Why can't they learn a new language?
Why do they stay at their shitty job year after year?

Does their failure to achieve these goals represent how obtainable these goals are? Or do they represent something else (lack of discipline and proper motivation).

Is "fake it till you make it" even possible ?

I did it. It's simple; not necessarily easy, but simple. Here's my story:

minor social anxiety, spend 6 months jacking off and reading without any social contact
get a customer service job
talk to hundreds of people for 8 hours
get better at socializing
talk to people everywhere I go
it gets easier and i become good at it
do the same with women

It's really simple. Repeated behaviors become habits. At first it was difficult, I had to think about everything I said or did. Now it's easy. I'm on autopilot; jokes, comments, and questions pop into my head. I don't worry about what to say. I just go into conversations and let my training take care of everything.

BattleDrillOneAlpha · 2015-07-03T20:38:27+00:00

Wanna know the no bull shit answer that all the doctors in your area hate?

Answer: Yes

edit: spoiler off!

capt-next-a-hoe · 2015-07-03T21:58:01+00:00

The Power of Habit explains the science of habits.

Cue --> Routine --> Reward
Find the cue, change the routine, get the same or better reward. Repeat.

Since humans are basically pattern finding meatbags that operate on habits, I say yes, it is possible to change any part of your mind, including personality.

It will take greater effort as you get older but it depends more on how much you give a fuck about bringing change rather than age.

TheGreasyPole · 2015-07-04T06:40:50+00:00

I think people can change habits quite extensively and easily, and personalities over a more extended period. Change the habits, and the personality follows along behind.

I was very different at 35 than at 25 even pre RP. I think people's personalities change far more than they imagine, they just don't notice the gradual drip of change themselves.

I also think that personality change is not as required by RP as the bloops on the thread seem to think. It's more that parts of your personality you keep private, and some you emphasise in public. Everyone does this naturally.

RP for me didn't involve a personality change so much as changing which parts I put front and centre, and which parts I kept to me.

I still have the same personality internally, more or less ... But people only knowing me from how it is expressed in public might see a big change. I'm still me... But the parts of me on public display are now different.

For example I was always confident in my abilities, cocky many would say. Previously I nerfed that, held the cockiness back., hid it and didn't display it in public. Now I don't.

Similarly, previously in public I would express doubts and be indecisive. Now that stays I private mode, and only the decision making is revealed (which comes across as decisive).

lots of things like this. Not a completely different personality.. But turn this knob up, and that knob down.... Play this tune on headphones rather than speakers... But that tune on speakers rather than headphones. And so on.

LeGrandDiableBlanc · 2015-07-04T02:09:20+00:00

It becomes harder the older you get, but it is still possible.

I would say a good rule of thumb is that if you act a certain way for an amount of time, it will take approximately 1.5x the amount of time acting consistently different to change your default mode.

You essentially need to retrain yourself as to what 'normal' is, and you do so by in reality making that your normal behavior (i.e. by literally making it so that over the course of your life, on average you have been more the way you desire than another.)

[deleted] · 2015-07-04T07:00:52+00:00

If TRPillers believe that men have the potential to change , why do they assume that women don't change ?

Because they don't have to.

That's actually the answer to every "But if men x, why don't women x?"

Because they don't have to.

nemma88 · 2015-07-04T19:47:17+00:00

We always have the choice on how to act, we can force ourselves to be something else. It's just acting outside of our personalities preference or comfort zone - while they might be necessary to archive the goals we want is naturally more stressful.

I don't think your nature will change, you'll always be acting outside your preference. I asked the question once to a Insights personality profiler, they said sometimes people might shift to the left of right a few places on their grid, but no one made significant shifts after puberty. Their tests capture unconscious, and conscious (what your trying to be) personality types. Unconscious doesn't change.

The question was also asked about male and female generally sitting on the grid. More females were seen in the helper / supporting area that males, generally.

gopher_glitz · 2015-07-03T21:59:10+00:00

I think so. A good make over, a rigorous diet/exercise plan and an increase in income can do wonders for self esteem/confidence. When people are able to change their lives in such a way to alleviate stresses and do away with the things that brings them down I think leaps and bounds of things can change a person.

On the flip side you can see people who have lost everything they cared about and packed on 100lbs of flab, lost their hair and perhaps got a really nasty skin disease can go the other route.

[deleted] · 2015-07-03T22:39:46+00:00

Can an adult person change his habits and personality completely ?

Evidence goes against this, but you can certainly become more confident and competent in your skillset, which I think is what they're referring to?

If TRPillers believe that men have the potential to change , why do they assume that women don't change ?

A post on their sidebar claims (idiotically) that women stop maturing at 18, because genetics.

animalmind · 2015-07-03T23:00:18+00:00

Yes, you can change at any age. You have to believe you can change and want to change. If someone is "too old to change", it's because they don't believe they can or don't want to.

I can definitely see myself becoming more "alpha", if that means I will become more confident, assertive, resilient and decisive. That's not completely changing my personality. I'm still going to be me. My personality is going to change states. My personality is going to go from an unhealthy state to a healthier state.

AureliusThunderkok · 2015-07-04T00:12:21+00:00

I think its beyond dispute that people can change habits or tweak their personalities in minor ways. I believe what OP is asking, which I would like to see too, is a situation where a complete revision of central characteristics occurs.

For example:

Little Johnny Bluepill is raised by a misanthropic single mom. He grows up believing all women should be on a pussy pedestal. He marches with the radical feminists brigade. He is a vegan and cries when he slices potatos. He is the worlds most empathetic man. He loves watching Oprah and reading Naomi Wolf.

One day he meets little Susy SuperTits. She is strikingly beautiful, fiercely intelligent and an egalitarian. They have much in common and become friends. Johnny braids her arm pit hair and makes her couscous salads. He falls deeply in love. Susy tells him they are too young for that sort of relationship and is saving herself for marriage to a true gentleman like him. She denies liking any of the athletic Chads at school.

One day, Johnny opens his social media and sees there has been a phone hack and naughty videos of Susy riding the cock carousel have hit the net. He loses his shit and disappears for a year.

When he returns he has put on muscle and grown a fine beard. He is handsome as hell. He now eats meat and drinks beer. He says AWALT many times per day and claims to hate women. He says it's every man for himself in this world and morals are for losers. He drives a monster truck with truk nutz and purposely swerves to hit all animal life that wanders into his path. His secret goal in life is to seduce Susy, turn her into a plate and gaslight her into insanity.

~

Now, is this sort of thing possible short of an organic brain disorder, massive substance abuse or a disassociative disorder not otherwise specified? Has Johnny really changed or is he faking a new elaborate personality as a social construct for the embarrassment he felt about Susy's CC video leak?

parduscat · 2015-07-04T01:47:59+00:00

People can change aspects about themselves but in my experience barring some major life event, no people can't change their basic personalities. The people I knew in high school are essentially the same people after four years of college. Their life experiences have shaped them but there's not a single instance where I meet them and I'm like "Woah, what happened?"

Nazrath2112 · 2015-07-04T01:55:15+00:00

Life means change, if you dont change you are not alive. One of my favorite quotes.

Yes people can change. It is hard and takes effort but nothing is so ingrained as thinking that you cannot change. I think you are right that a person cannot completely change all at once. But if you make little changes every month, a year later, you are a completely different person than you were before.

People who say you cannot change are just closed minded people really. My hypothesis is people who dont think others can change are deeply religious and do not think that people SHOULD change from their religion or they are people who for example do not like gays because they dont think that a person should change like that. They also do not believe that you are born that way so really its a no win situation for those people.

[deleted] · 2015-07-04T07:05:41+00:00

it's an uncontroversial fact that shrooms, LSD, DMT, ayahuasca, and ibogaine all make significant, noticeable changes to peoples personalities. ketamine has been shown to increase the connections between neurons and relieve major drug resistant depression in hours. anecdotally I've noticed drunks start to slur words when they're sober, stoners start to sound stoned when they arent (and they have a trademark laugh that you only get when you're high), and meth/coke heads become more intense.

but as far as fake it till you make it, yes. pua's do it all the time. they become socially intelligent, and then they constantly work on improving and changing themselves until eventually they internalize their behaviors. medically, cognitive/behavioral psychologists have treated people with extreme antisocial personalities like BPD. so yes, people can change. but it takes so much hard work, most people don't have to time or energy to do it.

GridReXX · 2015-07-04T10:14:11+00:00

They can change how they present and it can appear natural and even be easy for them.

I doubt they'll change their bare bones personality.

What I mean is they they'll feel even a tiny bit of relief when they can "breathe" and just be them.

wtknight · 2015-07-04T14:43:08+00:00

I don't think the goal should be to change your personality, but to play up the positive aspects of your personality. It is the equivalent of a job interview, but extending the concept to your entire life's actions and your interactions with other people. In this sense I believe your personality can be changed at any age, but that there's a certain core to your personality that cannot be changed without some extreme play-acting, and that this is not desirable for long-term relationship success, but works if your main intention is to deceive people into sexual encounters.

[deleted] · 2015-07-04T16:21:26+00:00

Reading TRP turned me from a socialist liberal to a libertarian. I've also turned from a raging atheist to somewhat understanding the meaning of faith. I'm 29. I think if you can change your mind on certain core beliefs it will have an impact on your core personality.

[deleted] · 2015-07-04T16:25:14+00:00

I suppose so, but I think for ,e it was more about unleashing aspects of my personality that I previously suppressed out of fear about what others might think about me. Now I'm much more open about who I am and what I want. You can do that while still being respectful.

[deleted] · 2015-07-05T01:39:52+00:00

i would say that some people can only change their personalities after a certain age

some people are too immature to learn a concept. most people in their 20s are retarded and dicks...

ever heard of jailhouse conversion (prislam)?

TheJollySatan · 2015-07-05T07:59:01+00:00

Letting testosterone build up by reducing the frequency of masturbation will alter a mans personality. It's a cheat code for altering personality, makes you more driven, confident and less willing to put up with shit. I'm not sure if women have the equivalent chemistry they can hijack to change their own personality outside of menopause.

max_peenor · 2015-07-05T16:08:58+00:00

No. People never really change.

But you can peal away decades of learned bullshit that has kept you from your true potential. You can improve your body.

TRP isn't a guide. It's an awakening. Guides are for inherently low value people. That's why those books aren't called "A Smarties Guide to..."

CursedLemon · 2015-07-03T20:27:18+00:00

Never completely. But a bit.

There's also a huge difference between an actual personality change, and acting.

sohamster · 2015-07-03T20:34:34+00:00

Everyone can improve themselves. All people can stop bad habits, improve appearance, learn to be more confident. I don't think that is necessarily a personality change. I think behaviour patterns can be changed, cognition not so much. My issue with "guides" is not that they are dishonest, but that they are shallow. Believing you are a super hero because you belong to a "group" is cultish in my opinion.

OfSpock · 2015-07-03T21:15:40+00:00

People can make minor changes, but no one I have known since childhood has been anything but themselves the whole time. I've certainly read stories on people who have made massive changes eg. giving up a ten year drug addiction, but these seem to be written about because they are much less common than the person who is an alcoholic their entire life.

C0UNTdrama · 2015-07-03T23:07:40+00:00

Ideas change, perspectives on things also changes. Personalities don't. I'm the same dork I was in highschool personality wise.

Title	Can people truly change their personalities after a certain age ?
Author	HappilySingleWoman
Upvotes	9
Comments	127
Date	July 3, 2015 8:23 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/3c14mn/can_people_truly_change_their_personalities_after/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/can-people-truly-change-their-personalities-after.281248 https://theredarchive.com/post/281248

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