RedPillers : What should a woman do if her husband doesn't want to have sex with her ?

max_peenor · 2015-05-21T15:54:14+00:00

Assuming she isn't a warpig or otherwise hideous, she should dump him. It works both ways.

GayLubeOil · 2015-05-21T16:30:20+00:00

She should lose fifty pounds and stop eating processed foods.

Atlas_B_Shruggin · 2015-05-21T14:19:27+00:00

Please describe this woman's age, physical appearance and general demeanor, also how she treats her husband

TheWolfMMSL · 2015-05-21T17:54:02+00:00

In general, the program for dealing with a spouse who doesn't want to have sex is (more-or-less) the same for both genders. Very briefly, and in order, these are:

Get more attractive (HOW is going to be different for men and women).
Push for what you want (more sex).
Communicate exactly what you want, that the situation is untenable, and if the problem isn't resolved then the relationship will have to end.
Follow through on 3.

I'm a firm believer in many of the TRP principles, but I'm not a fan of 'dread games'. Dread should be a natural consequence of 1, 2, and 3. But, for example, flirting with someone of the opposite sex or somehow trying to manipulate someone into believing that you have or are about to cheat is just as likely to backfire as it is to work.

[deleted] · 2015-05-21T16:43:43+00:00

Pretty sure I'd give the same advice regardless of gender. Improve yourself, make yourself more attractive, and communicate. Give it some time for the improvements to start to show. After significant improvement in those areas, if your desires still aren't being respected, prepare to leave. After preparations have completed, actually leave.

There's no such thing as a one-sided relationship. If something's important to you, it should be respected. If it's not, leave.

GaiusScaevolus · 2015-05-21T17:14:48+00:00

We need more context for a good answer. But you can't go wrong with initiating more sex.

Astarte_0 · 2015-05-21T18:00:19+00:00

As a woman there are only a few things I can think about:

Perhaps you haven't been taking care of your appearance? Healthy BMI? Hygiene, sports etc. ? Although a lot of men can be rather forgiving in this area as long as you are kind to them. Which leads to the second point.
Have you actually been kind to him? Have you cooked for him, done things for him without him having to ask you? Have you been nagging or fighting a lot? How many times have you been turning him down for sex? Have you been offering him a blowjob or have you been expecting him to do all the work? etc.
If neither point 1 nor 2 apply, it could simply mean he's cheating on you, although that's not a certainty either.

It could be that he's suffering under tremendous work stress and is simply too tired. Although in my experience even a tired man often wants 'some'.

Or it could be that he is suffering from an ailment he is embarrassed to discuss with you.

Best way to find out WHY a husband won't have sex with you is simply: communication. Ask him.

In any case, I rarely hear women complaining their husbands won't have sex with them. Usually it's the opposite: 'he always wants sex'...

Whisper · 2015-05-21T19:52:57+00:00

Depends why.

Reginleifer · 2015-05-21T14:29:40+00:00

"enhanced seduction techniques".

SirNemesis · 2015-05-21T14:02:48+00:00

This is far more common than people think.

But I am interested in sexual strategy for men, not for women, so I'll just leave one piece of advice here:

"Communicate."

[deleted] · 2015-05-22T00:46:40+00:00

You will not get reasonable answers from most red pill men for this. Why? Because they're men. And men want to promote the idea of an unstoppable male sex drive. There's a lot of expectations out there that a "masculine" man has a volcanic, super-sonic libido.

Men don't talk about it. Women don't talk about their men not wanting sex. Seriously, women don't. They're worried that if they tell anyone about it, the other person will think their husband/boyfriend is gay, cheating, weird or that he's no longer attracted to the woman. She can't win.

A man can say his wife doesn't want sex, and he doesn't lose his masculinity.

if a woman says her husband doesn't want sex, she loses her femininity.

But a man can be entirely normal and have a low libido simply because of work stress or unrecognized depression.

cxj · 2015-05-21T22:49:07+00:00

This is something I've pondered for a while now, as this recently came up on RPW from a girl whose IG account showed she was definitely a qt. I have known women IRL with this issue too, and I'm never quite sure what to say.

I am frankly mind blown some dudes don't fuck their non obese wives, as personally I can put up with a lot of bullshit in a relationship as long as we are regularly fucking, its once the fucking stops that my patience goes out the window.

As with men who can't get their wives to have sex with them, IMO seeking extra marital sex is entirely justified if a significant amount of effort has been put into remedying the situation.

blametheboogie · 2015-05-22T02:59:51+00:00

If you ask a man what's wrong in a non sarcastic manner you'll usually actually get an answer, you might not want to to hear the answer but you'll get it. Has she tried this?

Years ago I had an ex who started getting verbally abusive about 6 months in, it made me not want to have sex with her. After we talked about it she stopped for a while but soon started back so I had to leave the relationship. Turns out her parents are verbally abusive like that to each other so she probably thought that was OK. It's not.

Tl, dr : verbal abuse is a boner killer for lots of guys.

kickit · 2015-05-21T14:00:47+00:00

Lift

Man-with-a-pitchfork · 2015-05-21T17:58:46+00:00

If dread game doesn't work

She shouldn't use dread game in the first place. Men are not attracted to that.

It's a very common mistake: women believe that men find the same qualities attractive in them that they find attractive in men.

A woman who feels her man might start something with another woman wants to mark her territory.

A man who feels his woman might start something with another man must fear that he'll end up raising another man's children if he stays with that woman.

richnutz · 2015-05-21T14:08:32+00:00

Therapy or lose some weight.

nomdplume · 2015-05-21T17:56:03+00:00

She should come find me.

(I keeeding, I keeed you…)

VermiciousKnidzz · 2015-05-21T15:19:12+00:00

why not just ask the redpill subreddit? these answers are making my stomach churn

Nazrath2112 · 2015-05-21T15:28:42+00:00

The question as stated cannot really be answered. If you want to provide more information then a theory or course of action could be suggested. As it is you are asking for advice on what color to paint your car but give us no info on what the car is, the color or year.

Aspiring_Hobo · 2015-05-21T16:23:41+00:00

Simple: Get filthier. Surprise him. Women try to do things for us based on how they feel, instead of thinking about how we feel as men. Men don't care about, or won't notice your new sexy dress, or the fact they you're wearing your hair down. You have to appeal to us on an animal level, because men's reasons for sex are purely animalistic.

[deleted] · 2015-05-21T16:34:57+00:00

Lose weight.

SirNemesis · 2015-05-21T22:08:10+00:00

Take him when he is asleep.

[deleted] · 2015-05-22T07:57:09+00:00

Lose weight. Get rid of the mom jeans and the mom haircut. Buy some cocaine. Bring in a 20yo sidechick. You know, take some action, improve herself, be a self-actualized slutmachine.

ThirdEyeSqueegeed · 2015-05-21T13:59:38+00:00

An asexual woman?

Aerobus · 2015-05-21T16:47:00+00:00

Lose weight, change up her appearance (new, less, or more make up, new clothes, lingerie), be spontaneous (random hugs/kisses, and not quick kisses but the ones where you grab his necktie and pull him in), go the to gym and lose more weight, compliment him and cook him food, and lastly, lose weight.

Title	RedPillers : What should a woman do if her husband doesn't want to have sex with her ?
Author	HappilySingleWoman
Upvotes	9
Comments	94
Date	May 21, 2015 1:55 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/36r6nw/redpillers_what_should_a_woman_do_if_her_husband/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/redpillers-what-should-a-woman-do-if-her-husband.282044 https://theredarchive.com/post/282044

Comments