One thing I have realised coming into my adult life is that whoever has the most power tends to be, at the very least, happy, because they got their own way. Shocking!

So when I saw that the red pill was very much against a female power figure within relationships, I can't say I was surprised! However, when I was younger I did notice that the power dynamics between my mother and father were beneficial to both of them, and so I think there is at least some worth in understanding the whole concept of power dynamics.

My mother is a very wise, aware woman and acts primarily on either what is rational or the need to survive (as you have to be when growing up in the slums of a third world country!) and so naturally, she made a better candidate for leading the family. My father is a hardworking man and extremely intelligent, but has an otherwise gormless, eccentric and unreliable personality as well. As such, a woman at the head of the family was always going to be far more successful and beneficial for both the relationship between my parents and the environment in which they'd raise us, as their children.

This isn't about gender generalisations, this is about individual personalities. Within such interpersonal subjects, generalisations can't be relied on, (which is a point of contention for my acceptance of the red pill if I am perfectly honest, besides other things). Such adaptation between individuals is typically something that will occur naturally in healthy relationships, and is not really orchestrated by gender.

My own relationship between myself and my partner is the reverse of my parents - I have taken after my father in many respects, whereas my partner is the one who is responsible and levelheaded. Without his guidance, I would probably fall into the same habits as my father did before he was with my mother. I know I make impulsive, irrational decisions, and so my partner advises me against them and tends to explain why.

In both of these experiences, the leader of the relationship takes into consideration what is beneficial for both parties and also asks for input. This isn't the same dynamic as is between a parent and their child, as typically it is assumed that the child doesn't know what's best for themselves, whereas an adult has the knowledge to make and understand not only their own decisions, but also the decisions of others.

From what I've seen, the red pill advocates a male>female/parent>child form of romantic relationship and are very rigid with these dynamics (letting a woman lead makes you a beta, I think?) and I am particularly aggrieved by the whole parent-child part, as I find it absurdly unhealthy and open to abuse (I've seen people say that a romantic father-daughter relationship with a woman is ideal. Oh goodness, how disturbing!)

Quite simply, I don't think things are that simple. Power dynamics within each relationship will be unique to that particular relationship, whether it be both partners in control, or one in particular, it's hard to predict what will work for everyone you encounter. Even if it hurts your pride to admit it, there is a possibility that your partner is just far better at managing life than you are. Saying that men should lead relationships just because is foolish and ignores the many social factors that affect such things, and ultimately such inflexibility opens you up for hurt and failure.