If you could "remake" the institution of marriage, how would you do so?

fiat_lux_ · 2014-04-16T04:35:11+00:00

Not saying things would be "better" this way, but I'd like to see what would happen if we simply got rid of it. No gov't or legal involvement.

It's something that rpers and radfems supposedly both want.

I'm actually interested as radfems are in what would happen. Perhaps many people who were previously dependent on the institution to venture in other areas.

Who knows. Maybe people will even be better to their partners if they know there's no external party or system keeping their relationship together.

roe_ · 2014-04-16T03:58:41+00:00

I'd have it legal for LGBT everywhere.

wuboo · 2014-04-16T02:29:50+00:00

Civil unions. Allows unions for same sex couples. No fault divorce after x number of months of thinking it over or separation. Custody of children goes to best parent. Not sure of how to include polyamory.

rulenumber303 · 2014-04-16T06:04:20+00:00

I'd kind of like to see marriage abolished.

But if we keep, I think no fault divorce serves most demographics best. Maybe people should be allowed to invoke fault in their divorce but only after going up before some sort of rigorous legal panel and justifying to them that there is a cogent argument about how fault seems to extend beyond the usual he says/she says bullshit and a desire to save money. So they can get told things like "She wouldn't wash your socks in the last year of the marriage when you were arguing and nobody but you gives a fuck buddy." or "So he watched a bit of porn, who da fuck care?" I think a lot of people desperately need to be told these things during the divorce process and I don't think we need to give up the advantages of no-fault divorce in general to do this.

[deleted] · 2014-04-16T03:42:53+00:00

I guess I'd encourage pre-nups (I'd certainly never get married without one) and certainly make polygamy legal because, hey, why is it legal to cheat on your spouse but not to consensually marry multiple willing partners? And I'd make custody laws more fair - not leaning towards either mother or father but taking gender out of it completely and going only by the circumstances of either party. And of course I think gay people should be allowed to get married just the same as straight people, but that's already the case here in the UK as of a week ago. And that's pretty much all I can think of off the top of my head.

Honestly though I don't see the point of marriage in the first place. I feel marriage is like having kids - it's something most people do because they're expected to do it, not because they really want or need to do it. The only tangible benefit to marriage I can see is tax breaks.

roe_ · 2014-04-16T13:52:24+00:00

Between two people, gender non-specific (sorry, polyamorists, but I have yet to be convinced that wide-spread adoption won't be a net negative to society)

Divorce as a legal mechanism in place, but somewhat socially censured when children are involved, considered by society to be an option of last resort - would like to see some cultural honesty with it's true effect on standard of living for both partners

Presumption of shared custody

Presumption of equal division of assets, with temporary alimony in place for "caregiver" partner

Basically what we have now, with some (I think) well-supported tweaks

[deleted] · 2014-04-16T14:54:43+00:00

I would abolish it completely.

RedPill4LYF · 2014-04-16T06:04:56+00:00

Women have to buy men expensive wedding rings and pay for the wedding themselves. Also they have to ask men to marry them in grand displays. No fault divorce in favor of men.

alphabetmod · 2014-04-16T01:25:38+00:00

I'd get rid of no fault divorce.

I'd adjust the rules so that presumed custody was given to the father.

Polygamy would be legal. It would work like this: one person could partner with up to four people of the opposite gender. These unions dissolve if children aren't produced after three years.

Paternity tests would be conducted after each birth. Paternal surrender would be legal but not if the couple was married at the time of viability.

Each marriage license would have to be renewed after nine years. The next renewal would be after 18 years. The next after 27 years. Etc. failure to renew would effectively mean the partners were no longer married.

I'd also cap the amount of money people can collect from a marriage to a decade of payments. After that, any money your ex spouse was ordered to pay, is forgiven, even if they're behind in payments.

Just some random thoughts.

southwer · 2014-04-16T13:58:56+00:00

In what sense?

If I could have a magic wand that could entirely remake how people think, I would basically go for everybody wanting a non-enforced, consensual arranged marriage. It would be so nice to avoid all that insane competition 18 to 25 years old people do and the big let-downs and heartbreaks, and just let your parents who have more experience find a nice partner for you for life. Over 30 we are so rational and good at finding excellent partners, so why not "outsource" this choice to our parents at 18 when we are still young and foolish?

And yes, I should have married earlier, so that we could have more kids and other people would have more kids so someone would pay our pension and it would not look like half of Europe will basically have more retirees than tax payers in a few years... but the only way I could have married earlier is that I let a rational grown up person do the choice not me. I was an idiot.

But if you just mean legislation? I don't know. Cultural problems cannot be fixed with legislation. I am in a way a blue-pill traditionalist - I think the unselfisness and more duty consciousness people had 100 years ago was great. But you cannot enforce it with legislation.

I guess removing no-fault may sound good. Basically it is a very deep promise, a wov. People should not be able to break it just because they feel like. Basically marriage does NOT mean the promise I will love you forever. That is bullshit. Marriage means the promise I will be your reliable ally for live even if I will stop feeling things. There must be a good reason to break that.

GaiusScaevolus · 2014-04-16T20:16:08+00:00

I would make marriage expressly contract based. It's already an implied contract, but as we see on PPD, the terms of said contract are vague. This way I think all people know exactly what they're getting into.

I still wouldn't get married, but this system would make me object less to the institution.

sh1v · 2014-04-17T05:19:10+00:00

The problem with this question is you can't just change marriage in a vacuum. Marriage as institution has to fit within the social, economic, political realities of the larger society. In a traditionalist society, no fault divorce would be disastrous. In a feminized society, marriage itself is disastrous.

The best solution for modern western society that does not want to change in any other way, would be to just do away with marriage. Stop pressuring people to participate in it. Stop portraying it as something desirable or healthy when it increasingly is not. This will never happen though, as marriage as it currently exists, lies and all, is useful to women, and serves the feminine imperative quite well.

Title	If you could "remake" the institution of marriage, how would you do so?
Author	GaiusScaevolus
Upvotes	8
Comments	64
Date	April 16, 2014 1:09 AM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/23572o/if_you_could_remake_the_institution_of_marriage/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/if-you-could-remake-the-institution-of-marriage.285893 https://theredarchive.com/post/285893

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