Q4A: What is traditional masculinity to you?

slaveofsociety · 2019-09-27T22:32:18+00:00

To me, masculinity is not necessarily a list of XYZ behaviors, but a set of certain character traits that manifests themselves as behavior.

At its core, masculinity is about coolness, stability and resourcefulness. Archetypal male heroes are strong in the face of danger, men are typically the providers in heteronormative relationships, men disproportionally occupy positions of power, men are generally perceived as the cooler/more rational sex etc. All of these are manifestations of being able to hold one’s own ground in the emotional and physical realm, to the point where the man in question is able to not only care for himself, but also extend his resources to others (i.e. his wife and children, those working under him and relying upon his abilities).

IMO patriarchy is just the macrocosmic side effect of the masculine tendency to extend oneself for the benefits of others.

findingfemininity · 2019-09-27T21:46:11+00:00

For me:

masculinity = traits such as assertiveness, leadership, ambition, etc

traditional masculinity = how those traits apply to raising a family

You're right that traditional masculinity is irreconcilable with casual sex but masculinity itself isn't.

Aaren_Augustine · 2019-09-27T22:35:23+00:00

You can't answer what masculinity is by viewing it through women's eyes. It shouldn't be a pursuit leveled, measured and approved by women.

I know that's a "not answer", but after divorcing the idea, its incumbent on individual men to figure that out.

Vegetas_Haircut · 2019-09-27T23:09:34+00:00

Whatever the speaker wants it to be—it's a useless buzzword that gets redefined to mean whatever the speaker wants it to mean; it is a word without meaning that only carries association.

If you can reasonably make a topic like this asking "what does this word mean to you?" then you've—in all likelihood—stumbled upon one of such meaningless buzzwords that isn't used for their meaning.

Tomatoccino · 2019-09-27T23:12:06+00:00

James Bond. This is why it appeals more to men than to women. We don’t want 100% masculine men, they’re too much trouble.

bonusfruit · 2019-09-28T01:34:16+00:00

Emotional control. Logical thinking. Leadership. Courage. Stoicism. Competitive drive. Philosophical curiosity. Bluntness. Physical aggression. All that cool stuff

WarrenGFarting · 2019-09-27T21:35:32+00:00

Emervila · 2019-09-27T22:43:59+00:00

my understanding traditional masculinity is BB: the man pays for dates, the man is a breadwinner, the man gives orders to the woman, etc.

No...

The traditional masculinity was similar that's why people think is that version. Simply it was the one of the boomers, the man was supposed to be a good husband, the better husband material more masculine or truer man he'd be considered but the difference was the exchange. This man traded his traditional masculinity as a husband for a woman's motherhood-wife role. They exchanged these materials.

Currently, it runs over competition only, the more money, the best job, the more women he has, the more alpha he is.

Rabidstuffy · 2019-09-28T01:00:08+00:00

A traditionally masculine man will be physically strong, he will be in control of his emotions, he will indeed order women around, he will bring in the money because his wife will not be working she will be raising children and running the home (a full time job already). As far as paying for dates? Who spends money on dates? And as far as sex traditionally men had sex with prostitutes. This new breed of hookers doesn't even bother to charge. Bang away just don't marry.

[deleted] · 2019-09-29T22:40:08+00:00

Male stoicism, the expectation of male privilege, rigid roles of what dominance, leadership, alpha qualities, etc are that benefit a narrow cross section of men who are specifically like that for no specific reason except those men tend to accumulate enough wealth to set the tone. Capitalism is greed worship and a pyramid scheme and that translates into a culture which has been defined by capitalism for a few generations thanks to TV and men who have been raised to be stupid worker drones and soldiers. I'm honestly still amazed we have nazis in the US because growing up in the 80s and 90s I got so much "KILL THE NAZIS! IT'S AN AMERICAN PASS TIME!" propaganda that it makes my head spin to this day that some of my classmates grew up to BE nazis.

Traditional masculinity more than anything though is the idea that men should remain emotional children, not learn to deal with and experience their emotions, and lock it all up inside and call that mess of emotional lashing out and awful coping mechanisms "male nature"

And then to define roles not only around all men, but around women too based upon this?

I literally feel like I'm taking crazy pills. They expect men to have one look at not notice. I'm not Derek Fucking Zoolander.

geyges · 2019-09-27T21:58:52+00:00

what I learned on PPD is that masculinity is not:

ambition
drive
success
power
influence
intelligence

eagerly awaiting /u/_anothergumnut_ to explain what masculinity is

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goneaway2thewind · 2019-09-27T22:14:14+00:00

Masculinity is a derivative of Willpower. This shouldn't be a thing everyone gets to create their own definitions for. Its the reason why we argue so much already is because too many people prescribe what they think masculinity should be instead of actually understanding what it is.

PickUpScientist · 2019-09-28T03:22:19+00:00

the characteristics, both physical and behavioral, of a man with high levels of testosterone.

DoneBeenHadBeenDone · 2019-09-28T05:08:38+00:00

As a woman, my question is, why has it suddenly been decided that "Masculinity is in crisis"? Most men have different ideas of what it means to be masculine, all of which are valid, since they're men. What crisis? Who's stopping you from being your version of masculine? Like, go out and be the kinda man you wanna be.

strickyicky · 2019-09-28T06:30:28+00:00

Masculinity today = making women wet

Masculinity in the past = protect and provide

Willow-girl · 2019-09-28T15:00:09+00:00

Being able to use a cutting torch without setting oneself on fire?

TheLinguaFranca · 2019-09-28T18:08:42+00:00

We should be fighting against the concept "traditional masculinity" as hard as feminists fight against the concept of "traditional femininity" since both are social constructs that negatively affect the mental health of people who don't conform to these expectations. It just doesn't seem to be as urgent of an issue for men because we live in a patriarchal society so these expectations for men aren't as egregiously oppressive and restrictive as the expectations of femininity.

I don't think there's anything inherently wrong with a manly man (e.g. individualistic, confident, strong-willed, cool, etc) or a girly girl (e.g. cute, gracious, caring, etc), but I think society overall would be improved by some self-awareness about how historical and societal trends help to reinforce these stereotypes.

Dora_Bowl · 2019-09-27T22:22:59+00:00

I use the actual historical definition so traits such as: strength, stubbornness, violence, courage, disregard for danger and well being, disregard for responsibility, leadership, homophobia, racism, power and dominance.

cxj · 2019-09-27T22:07:02+00:00

Capable of violence, capable of building things, capable of survival in the wild, capable of effectively working in a team of men.

Title	Q4A: What is traditional masculinity to you?
Author	rus9384
Upvotes	13
Comments	82
Date	September 27, 2019 9:35 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/da6xpr/q4a_what_is_traditional_masculinity_to_you/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/q4a-what-is-traditional-masculinity-to-you.286143 https://theredarchive.com/post/286143

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