I have an on/off sexual relationship with a woman on campus and while I was texting her, we got on the topic of what would constitute a commitment from me. I decided to use a game theory example I read about, and the way I interpret the following text transcript is that the lesson is: Although we know that women are heavily emotional creatures, this does not necessitate that an appeal to logic is thus a fruitless claim, and we should be mindful of this.
Me - "If a woman doesn't want sex, I'll find someone who does. People who don't want sex should stick to others that don't want sex."
Her - "A woman might take issue with that."
Me - "Then she better convince me to stay."
Her - "And the only way she can is sex?! Would her personality ever be enough for you that it wouldn't matter? A woman's personality should be more important."
Me - "Sex is not the one determining factor, neither is personality, neither is there a false continuum between the two. My perspective is that if I'm to commit, a woman with a nice personality is essential, but a woman with a nice personality who is horny all the time is a strictly better deal."
Her - "But is that even an option?"
Me - "Yes. There's nothing inherently wrong with a woman believing that her personality should be the highest determinate for men, but utilizing this valuation as a strategy profile is flawed. It's a losing game to play. If we can imagine for example, a professor promising his class "If everyone fails this exam, I'll give everyone an A.", the utility maximizing action for the students would be everyone agreeing to handing in a blank exam. However, these agents are competitive, and will trust the other students to stick to the plan less and less as the number of students approaches infinity. In the same way, if a woman believes that she and other women should withhold sex until her personality has been validated, this would only work if women were not competitive over men, and not high in number (half the population of the world). The result is that she will no longer be my best option because her requirement that I pedestalize her personality over all else only changes my strategy profile if there aren't players that have the gift of personality and are also sexually open."
Her - "What are you up to tonight?"
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