Discovered LTR has been cheating.

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November 17, 2019

6 month LTR was acting out of sorts this previous week, she stayed over this weekend with no dramas. Everything appeared normal.

Caught her frantically texting someone last night, I didn’t recognise the name so I questioned her later that night “who’s XXXX” this was met with what I imagine is fairly common “Oh he’s just a friend from theatre/gym/school etc.

Her behaviour throughout the week and this all added up to be suspicious. I went through her phone while she slept and I discovered the conversation history had been deleted, no evidence of an XXXX in her phone.

Not enough to cover your tracks missy.

A little more digging and I find countless DM’s, snapchats and text screenshots back and forth with the same guy, all about sexual desires, “I missed you” “my bed now smells like you” stuff like that. It’s now pretty clear they’ve seen each other a few times, evening joking that she has a boyfriend and shouldn’t doing this.

I’ve saved the conversations so I have my own copies, I’m pretty shocked fellas. This girl was something special, cooked for me, submissive, and never gave me shit or argued over trivial things.

I woke her up, gave her a chance to come clean. She denied everything, 30 minutes of sobbing and justifying herself she admits to it. But, insists he was just a friend, they never did anything sexual and it was just for attention.

I tell her she needs to get her things and leave. It’s over.

This was a pretty big wake up call, I never thought this would happen to me. My question to you guys; has anyone experienced similar? And the guy is one ugly SOB, he’s overweight and sends these super sappy essays for texts like he’s one of the girls… Why would my ex-LTR be interested in him?


Post Information
Title Discovered LTR has been cheating.
Upvotes 75
Comments 69
Date 17 November 2019 12:07 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit askTRP
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Red Pill terms found in post:
cheatinglong term relationship

[–]KrissVectorEOC59 points60 points  (0 children) | Copy

This happens a lot. Doing it for attention is the common go to. They seek validation and feelings.

Sounds like you did the right thing. Next step is to continue building yourself, get some plates, and find someone better.

As for her, go ghost because there is no forgiveness to be given. You respect yourself and she crossed that boundary.

[–]2SirKolbath121 points122 points  (2 children) | Copy

Who cares why she cheated with some orc? You're free now. Her loss.

[–]jerrymcguiver4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

Next chick will just do it again but awalt right? Right, awalt will crave feelz from a beta if they're with overwhelming alpha guy. Yin and yang brother

[–]2SirKolbath2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

AWALT, yes, but NAWALT to the same degree.

[–]julius_pepperwood182 points83 points  (2 children) | Copy

AWALT is no joke

[–]frognads14 points15 points  (0 children) | Copy

Fucking oath

[–]big_ass_package11 points12 points  (0 children) | Copy

I swear no matter how much you're convinced otherwise....


[–]Treatscatscrave18 points19 points  (3 children) | Copy

You know that anytime a woman cheats, you dump.

You know that a man can have side chicks and this may have nothing to do with his wife ( this is why the smarter wives stay).

You know that when a woman cheats it is always-ALWAYS- a sign of lack of respect for you thus you end it.

And THIS is what separates the men from the boys: a red pill man knows that things will get worse if he forgives his wife as forgiving such a disgusting thing will make her lose even more respect.

So he suffers short term pain to avoid LONG term pain.

Naturally you want to know why.

Novelty. She now regards you as 'her's' and You are boring.

You must ALWAYS keep her chasing something.

[–]bannejs0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

You must ALWAYS keep her chasing something.

Like what for example?

[–]Razzoz62 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Your time, attention, sex, gifts, vacations or whatever.

[–]tom-anonymous0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Your time, attention and sex yes. Gifts and vacations not so much. That's beta bux and doesn't create desire. In fact can do the opposite. Other women chasing you and giving you attention also keeps her hamster on you.

[–][deleted] 14 points15 points  (0 children) | Copy

This will keep happening until you stop using cooking and the ability to act submissive as qualifiers. A maid can do that.

[–]opinden21 points22 points  (3 children) | Copy

This is the exact reason why I've been avoiding LTR'S latley, these bitches really ain't shit dude. Always remember AWALT. Try not to rationalise everything, it'll make you insane. Time to go monk mode and work on yourself. All the best my bro.

[–]FocusOnYourGoals0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

lol no dont go monk mode, simply bang 10 different bitches

[–]Onidramon7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

Go savage monk mode

Descend from your mountain shrine to collect alms from the villages in the form of ass

[–]bigdudecfc1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

He can go monk mode and still bang chicks,it's his mindset of desire that going to hinder him if he wants more during self improvement.

[–]trunksshortsman30 points31 points  (3 children) | Copy

You probably got complacent in your relationship.So she moved on to someone new

[–]thrwy754795 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Doubt it. It was 6 months in. Hopefully, that's not how long OP has been seeing her.

[–]CogGear8 points9 points  (1 child) | Copy

This is the main catalyst for this sort of behaviour. Complacency kills a woman's desire (especially younger women).


[–]Protocol_Apollo18 points19 points  (24 children) | Copy

Hard to know why she cheated.

Im not sure girls cheat just like that, I think it’s more of a gradual process of them losing attraction and then they hit the cheat button.

Maybe too much dread hence why she’s after some beta.

But as I said, it’s hard to pinpoint the cause/reasons of this.

You won’t get the reason from her and you know what to do.


[–]TIGERSTYLE_12 points13 points  (5 children) | Copy

I think you're right about the dread.

Yes, the only thing to do here is leave.

[–]Protocol_Apollo24 points25 points  (3 children) | Copy

Another thing for anyone else reading- the point when you realised she was covering her tracks was essentially the beginning of the end.

It shows that she’s trying to hide something/deceive you.

A good LTR doesn’t do that.

They would mateguard themselves by showing you the texts without you even asking to see them.

[–][deleted]  (1 child) | Copy


[–]Protocol_Apollo0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You shouldn’t need to fight off other men for your girl, she must do it herself.

You’re new here aren’t you?

Sidebar please.

[–]jerrymcguiver0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Does this mean I'm a bad ltr if i refuse to unlock my phone for my wife? She wants to know what bitches I'm talking to. I have walls of text with plate about fucking.

[–]KaRzual0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

How exactly can you point that you applied too much dread?

[–]Terdmuffin13 points14 points  (16 children) | Copy

Girls cheatf with guys that provide something their current man doesn't. Girls often cheat on alphas with betas and vice versa. Doesn't mean it will last. Doesn't have any impact on what she wants long term. Just means she found the right guy at the right time to provide what she wasn't gettingm

[–]second-last-mohican0 points1 point  (15 children) | Copy

Agree.. if they aren't getting the emotional attention from you, they will go off to a beta that's been messaging her sappy love poems and diatribes. Also another reason I dont fuck or chase girls that have boyfriends, I'm not desperate enough to go after easy targets

[–]PickUpScientist2 points3 points  (14 children) | Copy

i feel like agreed non monogomy from the start is a good option, but only if you yourself have enough game to make it not a weird "she fucks around while you don't" situation. not for beginners. that's if you want an ltr in the first place, which is becoming more and more foreign to me, even though i originally wanting the same thing, like most guys.

[–]Treatscatscrave9 points10 points  (11 children) | Copy

No it's not a good option.

Women who cheat do it because of lack of respect for you/boredom/ hate.

Men usually do it for sex only and may be no reflection on his wife.

I think you do not yet fully appreciate how different men and women are.

[–]PickUpScientist-2 points-1 points  (10 children) | Copy

i'm not saying its universally a good option. what i'm saying is that if you have a plate, and you are fond of this plate, maybe even considering an ltr if it werent for the general absurdity of modern ltrs (even without marriage/cohab/kids involved, women that cheat are considered heros in modern society), and shes at the "commit or i'm out" phase, an open relationship is a proposal you could throw out there. i've not had any takers on this proposal, but i think the reluctance of guys to get into open relationships is when they themselves don't have abundance. if thats the case obviously its a bad idea. in an existing ltr or a marriage, its absolutely a bad idea.

anyway i'm not taking about cheating i'm talking about an open arrangement.

[–]Treatscatscrave7 points8 points  (7 children) | Copy

It only works if guy is allowed other women, NOT the woman allowed other men.

Because the smarter of the fairer sex won't take it personally.

Once your woman has SEX with another guy (key point here) be it dishonestly or honestly, the relationship is dead.

They know on some level that it is truly disgusting to any man with self-esteem to lick a private part that another man has been inside earlier in the day.

She won't WANT to cheat if she values you, don't you get that?

With respect, you're trying to purple pill your way out of a situation that is only solvable by wholly taking the red pill.

Woman cheats= lack of respect for you.

Lack of respect= shit behaviours in ALL areas of your general life. It's about more than sex, can't you see that?

It's how they are.

[–]PickUpScientist-2 points-1 points  (6 children) | Copy

I think there are exceptions. Some chicks have a high libido. Most chicks (more than half of them conservatively) fantasize about being with other guys even in the best of relationships. If you are the first guy she meets that is fine with it, all while maintaining a frame of complete non-judgement, and you are clearly (I hate to say alpha but I hope you get what I mean by this) out-alphaing any other guys involved, there will be no loss of attraction.

You are now basically god to her. Just the fact that you suggested it will make her think "wow, he doesn't feel any jealousy about this??? that's a first." sure plenty of cucks might make the same offer, but as i mentioned thats scarcity. you would be making it clear you are fucking other women too.

I think as long as you are there, and its clear that you are the one that set the plan in motion and your sex game is better than his (not that its a competition really, but in an open relationship its kind of important and not that difficult to do if you have some basic experience. most guys just plug away and occasionally bite the titty and they are done.) it could allow for an ltr that actually works.

I guess my vision of an open relationship is more in line with a swinger/partner swap though. I agree that if its a "lets both do our own thing privately" situation, its little more than a mutual plate arrangement with feelings that will only get hurt on one if not both sides inevitably.

i'm not purple pill anyway i'm half red half black. i only include black because i was fat all my life, made a constant effort to approach for years, and had only one success before losing weight. i'm not an all-is-hopeless blackpiller i just think red doesn't put enough weight on looks.

With respect, you're trying to purple pill your way out of a situation that is only solvable by wholly taking the red pill.

no, not purple pill. i know she's going to fuck someone else eventually and i want to facilitate it in a way that is copacetic for all parties involved. i have zero issues with her fucking some other guy if i am fucking some other girl at the same time in the same room. its obviously not for everyone, but its one possible solution. it takes some serious inner game work and even then everyone is susceptible to jealousy from time to time, but like a muscle, the more you use it the stronger your capacity becomes.

jealousy in evolutionary biology is a trigger to make sure the kid is yours. now that we have paternity tests, its a wasted emotion. if you are saying she will lose respect and switch to the other guy, i doubt it. because if you are doing it right (not pretending) she will know that you don't give a fuck if she switches off and will say "ok, good luck" and mean it with sincerity, shortly before bouncing off to your next prospect.

it doesn't matter actually if he fucks her better, has a bigger dick, is 6'4", a literal champion body builder, a billionaire, whatever. the man that gives the least fucks wins every time (once a deep connection has been reached, this is obviously not at the beginning of a relationship before a deep bond has been formed)

[–]Treatscatscrave7 points8 points  (1 child) | Copy

Look there's so many holes here in your argument I genuinely don't have the time to point them out right now but, suffice to say, IF you are a 'god' like figure smart enough to pull this off you won't WANT a ltr.

You'll want to have a harem.

There's so many 'ifs' here. It's like 'yeah I could just get in my car and drive to the supermarket but IF I buy a lottery ticket I might be able to buy a helicopter to take me there.'

Just take the car. Lol.

I like your inventiveness but don't let it stop you seeing the obvious points.

[–]PickUpScientist2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

i think we are on the same page and its a misunderstanding. i took some modafanil and drank a malt liquor so i went in depth on how an ltr could work. i got lost in the hypothetical theory. you are exactly right about why. once you reach that level, why would you go through all that trouble for one pussy? that bitch better also lay golden eggs haha.

personally a harem even sounds like a lot of work. i'm a work smarter not harder guy that prefers ons with tourists in a nearby shopping center. maybe its part of the anger phase that i can't even talk to a local girl without getting into an argument lately. then again, maybe its because american girls are a high effort for bad attitude and are generally a headache (with some exceptions).

[–]beginner_1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

and had only one success before losing weight. i'm not an all-is-hopeless blackpiller i just think red doesn't put enough weight on looks.

The thing is you changed 2 variables: the weight but more importantly getting off your lazy ass and doing something. The things is the worse you look, the more confidence and the better frame you need. like rock solid. But how can you be confident if you feel like a lard ass?

[–]beginner_1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

What's the difference between a main plate and an open relationship? I say there isn't one. An LTR is by definition exclusive else you have plates.

[–]second-last-mohican5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy

Ltr can be a good way to get ahead in life, some females are really good partners and if they keep you happy it's a win.

[–]PickUpScientist3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

i do know ltrs can be good. i had a unicorn once and fucked it up. literally dumped her because she wouldn't let me drink as much as i wanted to. i was a straight up alcoholic at the time. this was back in my early twenties but she was just obviously not ever going to cheat. i could just tell. i had taken her virginity which i'm guessing had a lot to do with it, plus she had just turned 30. she was obsessed with me and not necessarily in an annoying way, honestly i was really blue pilled and i thought is was great. she wanted to get married and have kids soon though which freaked me out, but with the current state of affairs i kind of regret being the dickhead i used to be.

she wasn't american though. i have gone through so many americans and honestly i have never met anyone like her. not to say i still would want to be with her or have an obsession. the problem is that the modern culture is to have backup guys on chicks phones. there aren't girls that don't do this, and its a deal breaker for me. i let it bother me for too long and now i am just trying to be more open minded about sex in general, but that open mindedness can no longer square being in a traditional relationship.

if a girl needs backups, i'm gonna need plates. i'm upfront about it and a surprising amount of girls these days don't give a shit (at least for a few months). at first this adjustment seemed tragic, but i realize now it was just bluepill withdrawal.

[–]tom-anonymous1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I think this reply is onto something. Fail too many comfort tests and attention from another guy (even a beta) becomes powerful.

[–]Haytch123425 points26 points  (1 child) | Copy

Girls can be submissive yada yada. The whole good girlfriend to you.

She will still have the urge to be fucked by another dude on the side that doesnt give a fuck about her.

She is ultimately fullfilling the urge to be a nurturing girlfriend but at the same gets fulfill her urge of getting ravished by mysterious cock.

Thats how females work.

[–]jerrymcguiver5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

that doesnt give a fuck about her.

Note he sent walls of text that led to feels. He did indeed give a shit and reaped the benefits of knowing when a chick wants comfort. Beta and alpha balance is key.

[–]YouWannaPutMoneyOnIt6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

Whenever they cheat the answer is to ghost and hard next every single time is it not?

[–]i-am-the-prize4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy


Better now than later married with kids.

[–]ThrowawayYAYAY20025 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Good job on finishing with her, as it's the only option.

Block her number, remove her from social media, profit.

It does not matter one iota why she went with a dude that, by your own admission, is a pleb. That doesn't matter...

The truth has come out, and THAT is all that matters.

Just focus on yourself now.

If you're the kind of man that likes to quickly move onto the next woman, then hit up a few plates (if you have any). If not, focus on being smarter, fitter, and wealthier. Maybe book a vacation? Hit up old friends?

Take a week off to get over her and then move on.

[–]Senior EndorsedVasiliyZaitzev5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Discovered LTR has been cheating.

You spelled "ex-LTR" wrong.

This girl was something special

Evidently not.

But, insists he was just a friend, they never did anything sexual and it was just for attention.

Biz Markie: "But you say he's 'just a friend'....

I tell her she needs to get her things and leave. It’s over.


I repeat, reiterate and say again, though, fellas: If you were spinning 3+ plates, none of this would matter.

[–]Startlivingfornow10 points11 points  (1 child) | Copy

Females always have the propensity to cheat, doesn't matter if it's a 6 month LTR or a 10-year marriage.

Your key takeaway here has to be that it isn't her fault, it is you. You keep doing the same shit and your next girl will cheat as well.

You let yourself go somewhere along the way or you trusted her too much or you got comfortable and blind-sided.

Next time, always have something going on the side - not cheating - but just back up options that you're talking to as friends.

Also, never give a girl more of your trust than you're willing to take as a knife to the fucking heart. For me, I'll trust a chick about 40 - 50% on everything she says.

"Going out with friends."

Probably flirting with random dudes for fun 'ladies night'.

Going to the store. Probably going to call an ex or try get away with messaging orbiters or some randie she doesn't want to fuck but wants validation from.

If she does none of the above, I'm pleasantly surprised.

If she does any of the above, I already knew it was coming.

[–]ThrowawayYAYAY20026 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

Great advice, although you sound a tad paranoid ;-)

[–]Friendly-Casper5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

She's a cheat and a liar, what more is there to understand? Cut all contact with her and move forward. She is no longer part of any future chapters in your book.

[–]HastaPronto904 points5 points  (2 children) | Copy

What can I say? Keep your head up. Better to leave a bad person after 6 months then after 6 years. How old was she and what was her notch count?

[–]TIGERSTYLE_0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

18, took her virginity.

[–]HastaPronto900 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Damn and then people say in the RP community "virgins are the best marriage material, they will not cheat on you or shit like that", the fuck what? Never saw this work out in real life. Too many influences nowadays. I do think low notch count is better then no notch count.

[–]JoeBuckYourslf2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy


Yes and don’t ever try to get her to admit lying. Her hamster will justify the fuck out of it and she will give you more lies along the way, as long as you let her.

Immediately drop, move on. Lucky you. So much pussy for the taking out there.

[–]Herdsengineers2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Not married to her, no need to save documentation, etc. For the guys reading, OP did ok with this, confronted and got rid of the cheating girl. Next time, just need to say "you've been cheating with so and so, it's over." then leave or kick her out depending on if you're out, at her place, at your place, etc.

keep it short and sweet, no need to get her to confess, etc. it's about your dignity and self respect, part of which is about not playing games and giving time to listening to a cheater lie more and make more excuses. if you know, and she's denying still, why fuck with her more?

and when confronting, don't ask "who is this guy?" or anything. don't invite the opportunity to lie more. just state you know she's cheated with such and such dude, it's over, and go. hell, cheaters don't deserve the dignity of face to face. do it over text so she can't freak out on you. then ghost her and move on.

[–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

This girl was something special, cooked for me, submissive, and never gave me shit or argued over trivial things.


and it was just for attention.

She's lied so much, you can't believe a word she says including this.

No idea why she did it, but the simple fact is she's a cheating whore.

Next...... and consider whether girls are worth your commitment.

[–]PhaedrusHunt2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Interesting comments in this thread.

I was actually thinking about it recently when men cheat it's for sex when women cheat it's for relationships.

My wife has told me stuff before like quit being so alpha and quit being such the dominant guy in every social situation.

When women are at the infertile part of their cycle they're more likely to have sex with a guy with more beta tendencies that is good to listener and sensitive and blah blah blah. When they're ovulating they want the alpha.

Just a good thing to keep in mind

[–]wanker71714 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

I woke her up, gave her a chance to come clean.

I just don't get it. Why the fuck does it matter? You uncover a bed of lies and your first thought is "She'll be honest with me now!" Furthermore there's no apology that would change how you should respond.

And the guy is one ugly SOB, he’s overweight and sends these super sappy essays for texts like he’s one of the girls

I'd say it was never a permanent thing in her mind. A close buddy of mine is the best ladies' man I know and he's also a personal trainer. After he broke up with his girlfriend (he got bored of her) it surfaced that she had cheated on him with a guy who wasn't even half the man he was, similar to your situation. Sometimes girls just sleep with these fags mainly because it's new and exciting for them and the dude had some level of frame control, but girls never stay in those arrangements.

[–]Dimenzije904 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

If hes description is true then she was using him for attention, but nonetheless if she can do that she can cheat with a chad. Learn from mistakes and move on. We have all been there in similar situations. Thats why we are here. Keep lifting.

[–]maddisser1010 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy


[–]BurnieSlander0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

How is it that you are “shocked” and “never thought this could happen to you” yet you know about TRP?

[–]1Red_Pill_Brotherhood0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

AWALT. Happens. The will help you further internalize the pill. Now move on and don't take her back. Keep on purpose and improving yourself.

[–]HurricaneHugues0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

She was interested in him because you have low standards. She doesn't sound like a girl you ever should've entertained past plate status. You vetter poorly and now you're dealing with the consequences. You may down with dogs, you will catch fleas.

[–]badabing6540 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Surprised you didnt shank her

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (6 children) | Copy

what's LTR

[–]catsdontsmile6 points7 points  (4 children) | Copy

Stands for read the glossary

[–]bowhunter62 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy


[–][deleted] -4 points-3 points  (1 child) | Copy

fuck off

[–]Unknockable4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy


[–]NofapMN2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Long term relationship

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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