[Q4All] How big of a role does luck play in mating?

Gravel_Roads · 2019-11-18T09:43:05+00:00

35/M/dirty hippy bi dude

Good question. I'd say it's 40% luck and 60% effort... but success depends on at least half of that effort going into screening and knowing when to reject someone as well. Settling in a relationship and then spending 100% of your daily energy running yourself ragged keeping it together might result in a successful relationship, but at a cost that will probably shorten your lifespan, lol.

It also depends on what you consider "luck" -- Because just by being social, you will increase your luck considerably, even if you aren't specifically looking for romance.

Hell, I met one of my LTR's through a tabletop RPG at a college dorm - I went on a lark and she was just incidentally funny and creative and we were able to build on one another's stories, so we just kept talking all night after the game. I certainly wasn't looking to meet anyone, but I was open and available, and made it very easy for something to kindle. We were together for 8 years, after which time we broke up because I wanted to travel and she didn't. If I had stayed with her, we probably would have eventually gotten bored and resentful, but because we broke up, I was free when I met my next partner, who is way more compatible with me. Was that luck or effort? Probably both.

Here4thebeer3232 · 2019-11-18T09:28:06+00:00

About as big a role it plays in every other facet of life. You can plan all you want, but a string of bad luck will undo most or all of it. And you can not plan, and end up winning the genetic lottery. But it is a horrible strategy to only rely on luck.

2019-11-18T09:51:32+00:00

Male, 37, leaning red.

I do not believe in luck at all. Initially its all effort, like anything until it becomes internalized, then its second nature. A bit like learning to walk, or any form of martial art.

If anything, i would say it comes down to good/bad habits.

Even those people with Lucky shirts and the like, well the shirts are not lucky. You have just mind fucked yourself and only allow yourself to be successful if you are wearing your "lucky shirt".

As for SMP/RMP there is no such thing as "deserve". There is value and seizing opportunity. However there is no such thing as "deserve" and there is no guarantee of any success (funnily enough like anything else in life).

geyejoe7 · 2019-11-18T10:06:17+00:00

Male, 19, no-pill, irrelevant in my country (I have mixed views, depends on topics).

Luck plays a big role. I couldn't tell you the exact % since it varies so much in a lot of situations.

But effort is definitely a big factor aswell.

I went to a highschool with 80% girls, and I had 2 romantic encounters (just a simple kiss) within those 4 years (never had any previous to highschool aswell).

So you could say I was extremely unlucky. I did try. But looking back at it, I could have tried a lot harder now that I think about it.

I met my current gf of a complete whim.

A classmate (we'll call her Angela), I never talked to, decided to invite 5 randoms from class (the classes plan was to go to a club for the last day of school, but a couple of us decided not to go) to her vacation home.

We went there, and I made friends with some of Angelas friends she also invited.

We went out as a group 2 more times, and then decided to all go to a beach house. There I made my move onto one of Angelas friends, and now, 5 months later, we're in love and in a planned LTR.

Did luck play a role? 100%. Did I make efforts to secure her as a mate? Sure.

So in the end, luck may or may not make a huge difference.

flamingoinghome · 2019-11-18T16:21:45+00:00

Mid-late 20s, female, Royal Blue.

Luck is a very significant factor in dating. It's like 70% of casual hookups, 35% of getting a LTR.

Now, there are things to do to improve your odds, and some of them are the RP-approved ones (get in shape, dress well) and others are the ones they dislike (cultivate a large and varied social circle; go out a lot). Mostly, though, it's like this: your odds of winning the lottery go up with the number of lottery tickets in your possession.

My advice for people who have bad luck is just that: buy more tickets. In my experience, the people who have the worst luck are also the people who "put all their eggs in one basket." Most people who claim that various "hacks" (TRP, FDS, PUA) helped them most likely just met more people and held off on obsessing over just one. More tickets, more chances to be lucky.

That said, people are very hesitant to admit that luck is important, because that means admitting their personal life is heavily affected by something they can't control, and don't even get the satisfaction of being able to vilify. Luck is out of our hands, and that's scary.

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rus9384 · 2019-11-18T10:23:11+00:00

The dumber and more powerless you are, the more important luck is. Because luck is all the factors you don't have control over.

k995 · 2019-11-18T10:59:30+00:00

Luck matters but you create your own luck, I mean staying at home not meeting anyone (even online) vs someone who does go out and meets people ...

churnthrowaway123456 · 2019-11-18T12:48:02+00:00

Mid-20s/Male/No pill/Leftist.

Dating is roughly 80% luck, 20% effort. Effort is really just not fucking up and teaching yourself to give off good vibes. Luck is almost everything because so much boils down to being in the right place at the right time.

diffdedbed · 2019-11-18T13:20:17+00:00

When I found my wife? 80% luck. I just figured out game and got lucky finding a horny and completely unattached 18 year old that worked for me beyond sex.

If it was now in my 40s? 10% luck because I know exactly what I'm looking for and how to find them. Being a swinger means my game has greatly improved and I know my taste in women from personality to sexual ability.

TheBookOfSeil · 2019-11-18T14:14:01+00:00

Being the right person in the right place at the right time is important, yes. No doubting that.

30/m/purple/mixed views/centrist

wub1234 · 2019-11-18T16:49:26+00:00

Luck, chance and randomness play a significant role in everything in life, and every aspect of the universe.

Orange_Paisley · 2019-11-18T18:47:14+00:00

48 year old lady person, liberal Democrat. Luck does play a key part in meeting people at least. After that you have to work at being attractive, interesting, a good partner. But at least 50% of a relationship is meeting the right person and having that connection.

JaJammerJan · 2019-11-18T20:45:16+00:00

Your genes and how attractive they make you look are what counts in mating, and genes = luck.

decoy88 · 2019-11-18T22:06:02+00:00

Success is the combination of luck and preparation.

Everyone has opportunities thrown their way, not all take advantage of it.

Ask most ~~normal~~ socialised men about any signals from women they missed when younger, almost all have a story. But they weren’t prepared for that opportunity, it passed them by

SDW137 · 2019-11-21T06:29:33+00:00

M, 23, Purple, and slightly left leaning moderate. And it depends on what you consider "luck". By that, do you mean winning the genetic lottery? I'd argue in that case, "luck" would be at least 60% of it, if not more. Otherwise, I'd say that it's 50% effort and 50% luck.

Creation_Soul · 2019-11-18T11:14:07+00:00

male, 30, married, no pill

I will say that for consistent dating success, luck is not that big of a component, but a combination of game, kept looks and interesting personality is very important.

But, for finding someone "special", luck is a much bigger component. I met my wife by chance when we were both invited to a gathering by some common friends (common as in my friend, knew her friend, and each friend invited us separately). This all happened when we were both in college and she is two years younger than me, so there were very few chances we would have met otherwise.

acenosk · 2019-11-18T12:02:57+00:00

90%. Lucky that you weren't born an ugly motherfucker.

Title	[Q4All] How big of a role does luck play in mating?
Author	webernicke
Upvotes	2
Comments	25
Date	November 18, 2019 9:13 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/dy0u7b/q4all_how_big_of_a_role_does_luck_play_in_mating/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/q4all-how-big-of-a-role-does-luck-play-in-mating.295667 https://theredarchive.com/post/295667

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