How do I be alpha without being a narcissist?

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December 19, 2019
109 upvotes

So I've been lurking for a long time now and reading all the material I can here but honestly I'm still confused on one major factor: how can I be alpha without being a pure narcissist?

I understand that women want to have the kids of alphas, which are dudes with dark triad personalities, ie: narcissism, psychopathy, and machiavellianism. And in terms of settling down they want a guy who is beta which basically means gives a shit about her and provides for her and protects her, but doesn't give her the actual full on attraction an alpha does, which is why women resent their husbands and cheat.

So basically if I am either of these, I can't have an actually happy relationship because I'm either up my own asshole and incapable of empathy or care for another person, or I'm a cuck. ie: a "bad boy" or a "nice guy" and both sounds like losers to me, just in different ways.

I know a lot of guys here promote being as alpha as humanly possible, but being any of the three dark triad traits is not a good thing. Being a dark triad is a mental disorder on the extreme and those are not traits that will lead to a happy life, unless you consider being a sociopath a happy life. It'll get you laid a ton but I have other things in life I value besides pulling in as many sluts as I can at the cost of my soul and I actually want a relationship. However, as a beta I'll always be resented and cucked and cheated/divorce raped, which is a nightmare.

Is it possible to achieve both the positive of alpha and beta or is being a man basically choosing one of these paths and sticking with the fucked up life? I haven't seen this addressed much because most of the guys here just want to get as much pussy as physically possible and the few LTR threads I come across seem to treat relationships like sex dispensers and claim any amount of emotional connection at all is a failure. I'd appreciate some insight on this, thank you.


Post Information
Title How do I be alpha without being a narcissist?
Author pornodio
Upvotes 109
Comments 75
Date 19 December 2019 07:49 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit askTRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/302257
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/ecycfp/how_do_i_be_alpha_without_being_a_narcissist/
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Red Pill terms found in post:
alphabetacuckdark triadcheatinglong term relationship
Comments

[–]i-am-the-prize151 points152 points  (26 children) | Copy

Go read the higher rated threads in MRP (married red pill) for LTR and relationship balance thoughts.

And women may be attracted to some dark triad traits, but that's because those traits mimic what a non psycho alpha male demonstrates natively, not because they want a psycho per se.

Iit's been said women cannot casually tell the difference between a dark triad trash guy and a true OI mission focused alpha who's a Natural (the kind of guy other guys secretly envy). that's why they may fall for 'dark triad' but for most women (those without daddy issues or self destructive personalities) being with a dark triad guy is not their goal. obviously, eventually they find out the psycho is a psycho.... this is why psychos need to move around a lot and find new suckers/victims as they burn through those they ravage/hurt/kill/terrorize/etc.

So you're making this into a conundrum when it doesn't have to be. I would say LTR is RP on hard mode, (marriage is RP on nightmare mode) so practice first with Plates (it's part of the selection/vetting process anyways) get good at crushing shittests, boundary settings, get your Game and Frame right. get your gains and looks on point. Don't rush the LTR thing.

Look I hear you. Some of the best sex I've ever had, connection/emotion-wise, has been with LTRs/not one night stands or FuckBuddies - the emotional side of it is real, and you're not a loser for wanting that. But you are making this into a false choice. Don't be so binary in your thinking.

The answer is AND, not OR. You can be your own man, and provide comfort and eventually build a good LTR. But don't go to stage 2 before mastering stage 1.

If you can cultivate and build outward Game/Frame, inner Game/Frame, make bank, have strong male friendships, have a fucking mission, and be sexy, you will be the male equivalent of a Unicorn and pussy will fall from the sky onto your face.

[–]user2018062010 points11 points  (9 children) | Copy

Excellent answer. Can you point me towards any articles etc specifically defining and comparing dark triad and mission focused alpha? I feel like I have a vague idea of this comparison, but I'd love to have it laid out a bit more concretely.

[–]jzekyll512 points13 points  (6 children) | Copy

Generally err on being more dark triad, but in this day and age, it’s really as simple as saying very little about your emotions and hiding as much of your weaknesses as possible. Using random women as therapists is sooo common and by handling your shit silently you’ll get more out of her.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (5 children) | Copy

Or STFU. Right?

[–]i-am-the-prize1 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy

right, i have a few 'rules' i've made in a cheat sheet for myself in my secure space.

  1. when it comes to the relationship, speak only strategically, do not speak to fill a silence, do not have verbal diareaha, speak only for a purpose
  2. women want strength, the Oak. If you choose to show a weakness, tread lightly.

Many (many) threads on MRP talk of how she lost repsect/arousal when he showed weakness (death of a lvoed one, pet; an injury; a job loss, etc) So instead, have it be something not-truly-damaging, and have it be something she earned. Like a skill/level in a vidya game she "unlocked" this is the "taming the beast" archetype that turns women on very much. they feel like THEY got through to you. If you act like the 'Most sensitive man in the world" in that Brendan Frasier movie (on the beach) your opening up/weakness means nothing, it's actually a liability in her drive to find a protector/provider.

[–]RacistMuffin1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

Definitely agree with the showing weakness part. If you show your emotions and lose that frame you have built with her. Her entire fantasy/reality of what she has perceived you drops. And so do her panties.

This taming the beast archetype is so prevalent in female nature as well. That's why the most popular movies that females watch are those when the female has conquered a high valued male. However, that movie fantasy does not work in real life. If the women has "conquered" you, the chase is gone and the movie is over. There's no more emotions and she no longer has to seek for your security.

[–]i-am-the-prize1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

Have you seen “my blue valentine”?

That’s a fictional account of what happens to her tingles when:

1- she tames him 2- she became his mission

Total loss of respect and attraction.

The retro-cucking with the other guys kid is RP icing on the cake....

[–]RacistMuffin1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Definitely going to check that shit out. Thanks for the recommendation

[–]i-am-the-prize0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

watch it, then read the critics reviews.

through an RP lens, it will make sense. then the "completely missing the point" of the BP/white-knight reviews of the story and plot will ring even more hollow and off base.

[–]i-am-the-prize3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

Can you point me towards any articles etc specifically defining and comparing dark triad and mission focused alpha?

I can't because I dont' recall any single items. I've honestly read so much (all of the sidebar and 12+ other books in the 2nd ring out on these topics in the past 8 months) that it's kinda a blur. But here are some of my thoughts. Assuming a social event where Stacy meets Chad and she's impressed but doesn't know if he's really super-Alpha-Chad or not, but she's got tingles...

Definition of a Psychotic/psychopath:

  • Psychopathy is defined as a mental (antisocial) disorder in which an individual manifests amoral and antisocial behavior, shows a lack of ability to love or establish meaningful personal relationships, expresses extreme egocentricity, and demonstrates a failure to learn from experience and other behaviors associated with the condition.

Definition of a Narcassist:

  • Narcissistic personality disorder — one of several types of personality disorders — is a mental condition in which people have an inflated sense of their own importance, a deep need for excessive attention and admiration, troubled relationships, and a lack of empathy for others.

The machiavlellian one has less to do with meeting a guy at a bar/event. So this one is more about deception and cunning at any cost, so I'm leaving this aside for now as it's the most obvious.

So breaking down the items above, with how it relates to the early parts of courtship. Knowing that it's been stated in various forms that you can get with a chick in ~7 hours of facetime (in one night or across 2-3 sits) you can see how a chick can't get too deep with a guy in 7 hours if that's all the time she spends before fucking him...

  • "Psychopathy is defined as a mental (antisocial) disorder in which an individual manifests amoral and antisocial behavior, ..."
    • AlphaChad: his aloofness and NGAF attitude may come across as antisocial, her liking him does not matter to him in that his Ego doesn't need her validation and his happiness is NOT determined by outside thoughts of 'him'. His openness in expressing his desires plainly (esclation and polarization) could be perceived as amoral or at least not moralizing by her.
    • Psycho guy: true antisocial behavior may not manifest within the 7 hour window. Amoral, can be hidden long enough to bag his prey. So anti-social-lite may look like the actions of the AlphaChad
  • "...shows a lack of ability to love or establish meaningful personal relationships ..."
    • AlphaChad: same NGAF and OI may show his high value (DHV) and be perceived aloofness, but if he's situational alpha it's possible other males in the group will defer to him in some ways.
    • Psycho guy: ^^ this doesn't apply/show in the 7 hour window, or again, they could mimic the AlphaChad
  • "...expresses extreme egocentricity, and demonstrates a failure to learn from experience and other behaviors associated with the condition."
    • AlphaChad: his confidence and Natural ease with himself will show the egocentric side, any failure to learn can't be determined in such a short window.
    • PsychoGuy: he can mimic this confidence, and again, any failure to learn can't be determined in such a short window
  • "Narcissistic personality disorder — one of several types of personality disorders — is a mental condition in which people have an inflated sense of their own importance,..."
    • AlphaChad: they will know they are the shit, some may be quiet/humble, some more plain about their confidence. DHV isn't about the size of your watch or biceps, it's your Frame and ease of Natural Alpha.
    • PsychoGuy: same, his delusional self inflation, to someone that doesn't know him, in a short courtship window can mimic the AlphaChad
  • " a deep need for excessive attention and admiration, troubled relationships,..."
    • AlphaChad: Here the AlphaChad will often be the center of attention, due to the cool shit they do/talk about. So less about their need for it, and more about orbiters and fawning by others. Not enough time to determine troubled relationships in the 7 hr window I'm describing..
    • PsychoGuy: may push for the attention, but again, this would mimic the alphachad, via social proof, once the orbiters/fawners are fawning.
  • "...and a lack of empathy for others.".
    • AlphaChad: at first, his OI/NGAF and mission/self focus may come off as lack of empathy. But it's not that he's incapable of it, but doesn't see the need for it. This new HB8 means nothing to him (yet) - when he has a reason to, he CAN empathize.
    • The Psycho, cannot empathize, they are crippled. This is why the seem detatched when they do harm to others. But again, his 'distance' in the early settings mimic the OI/ngaf mission focus of the AlphaChad

with time, the psycho's true nature will show.

[–]user201806201 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Dude... This is exactly what I was looking for! Thank you! I'm saving this.

[–]justforgigs968 points9 points  (7 children) | Copy

I see you’ve been studying Jordan Peterson’s lectures about psychopaths. Either that or you just went straight to Carl Jung, I applaud you for that. Perfect answer

[–]i-am-the-prize0 points1 point  (6 children) | Copy

Yes, I've read Maps of Meaning and 12 Rules. I like his lectures on youtube. I admit I hadn't heard of him until the political bruhaha a few years back but I find him very enlightening.

It's funny, the first time I heard of Jung was when Ayn Rand was trashing him in an interview she did once I believe. I still haven't read his stuff - so for now I will learn of it second hand through JBP and others.

[–]AshyBoneVR40 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy

Jordan Peterson

I'm going to start listening to some of his lectures. Are there any videos you guys would recommend?

[–]justforgigs962 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy

There are plenty of snippets of JP across YouTube. He has many lectures that can go hours and hours, so if you want to just get started, you can find 5-6 minute clips of his talks about meaning, responsibility, time management, relations with women, dominance hierarchies, the shadow of the persona, etc you name it. He blends together psychology with mythology, and philosophy all together.

[–]AshyBoneVR40 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

I'm gonna start with this video tonight then go from there. Thanks, I'll look for more.

[–]wereworm50 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Thank you for this. I watched first few mins and got hooked to it. Can you recommend similar speakers to learn more?

[–]user201806200 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Camile Paglia is a hood one for a female that understands how badly feminism has kneecapped women men and society as a whole.

[–]i-am-the-prize2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Know that, he'll be trashed here by some. See, he's very pro-marriage. (he sees it as benefiting society, and references the stable nuclear household as the ideal setting for child rearing). so he's not "RedPill" enough for that reason. But for someone semi-mainstream, he's a great asset to anyone on the RP side of the fence:

  • he believes the Masculine and the Feminine are distinct and does not promote an egalitarian society or relationship; paralleled in the chaos and 'the known' and ying/yang. lots of conceptual 'orienting reflex' ideas of reality and our consciousness that are eye opening
  • he believes that SJW and virtue signaling are a virus
  • he believes in freedom of expression and throught, and points to the lack of either as a prerequisite (and harbinger) of totalitarianism
  • his interpretation of the meek inheriting the world and the sheathed sword matches with the RP ideal of being able to a losers kick ass, but choosing not to. but they key is to get fucking strong so you could kick ass if needed. but to not look to do so.

Edit: i forgot my favorite example he gives about this in a lecture that is online, it's something like this: JBP: "picture a bunny. is it kind? is it benevolent? is it good? (I picture the total BP "nice guy" LJBF loser in a thots orbit) no. it is simply food/prey. because it has no ability to harm or threaten, it is neither kind nor good in that it cannot do harm nor be evil. It is only those which CAN do harm and have strength which choose to NOT do evil which are truly good**. So do not strive to be a weak bunny, with only prey and kindness as your assets. instead get in touch with your shadow side, know its there, and instead choose not to use it. Become strong. That's how you become good, when you're strong and capable of evil but choose not do be evil...."** loosely paraphrased from memory of 2 diff lectures... this resonated with me. my goal is not to be good. it's to become strong (in every way possible) then to live how I want after that, but only after I have all options before me, due to my strength, are my choices pure. (not assuredly purely good or bad, but pure in that they are truly choices at that point).

  • his views of what attracts women to men (masculinity, strength, lack of neediness) and what makes a man a man (conquering the demons of his father) and the archetype views of women towards men (they want to be the sole one to tame us/our beast) are worth listening to.

I run his lectures on autoplay at home in the background now, and lookup/rewind when I hear something new. The "older fatter angrier" JBP ones are good, pre political blow up, so don't ignore those too.

[–]theeverydayhustle1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

👍 This makes so much sense

[–]cjnu1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Second this. Great answer. Also explains why women tend to be attracted to sociopaths and psychopaths.

[–]AshyBoneVR41 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

(those without daddy issues or self destructive personalities)

Are there still women like this out there???

[–]i-am-the-prize0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

you got me :)

but that's what the vetting process is about - being pretty on the outside is no guarantee of a non-rotten core. Find the ones with the least rot, and bring them along.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Yes. There are.

[–]Qba19940 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Very insightful comment!

Any advices on boundary setting? (or a link to the article)

[–]i-am-the-prize8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

I think you should start with 2 books about assertiveness and general (mens) mental strength/health, which are sidebar material:

  1. No More Mr. Nice Guy
  2. When I say no I Geel Guilty

because you need to understand a few things first:

  • why you should not be a fixer/caretaker
  • what a covert contract is
  • how to break free of any codependency issues form your childhood
  • how not to be a doormat (not to be walked all over)
  • how to communicate assertively

basically those 2 books are pre-req's to "boundary setting" in any relationship. look, intimate/romatic relationships are the hardest in my mind because *brain chemicals* and *ego* make the very same organ which is supposed to be steering you straight, dumb as shit.

so you need the foundational tools, strength, insight on how to do this in base living first.

have you read those 2 books yet?

[–]Gawernator0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Awesome answer

[–][deleted] 23 points24 points  (1 child) | Copy

First of all, being a full on Alpha doesnt work in long term relationships, you have to be a mix of Alpha bucks. Be an Alpha all the time and she wont trust you, be a beta and she wont respect you, the middle is the sweet spot.

[–]IvyExcess1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

So we see this response a lot. Be helpful to the new guys and flesh out which alpha and which beta behaviors are helpful for ltrs

[–]thrwy7547911 points12 points  (0 children) | Copy

Stay humble.

[–]alphabachelor18 points19 points  (9 children) | Copy

If you are truly a narcissist, seek psychological help. You might be able to keep it in check.

If you have narcissist tendencies but are not clinically diagnosed as one then realize worth and validation comes from yourself, not others.

[–]campa56la14 points15 points  (2 children) | Copy

Lol narcissists don't seek psychological help. Narcissism is rarely clinically diagnosed.

[–]volvostupidshit0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

There is nothing wrong with us so why do I have to seek help?

[–]campa56la2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Everyone else is wrong and it’s their goddamn fault.

[–]pornodio[S] 7 points8 points  (3 children) | Copy

If I were a narcissist I would be out there slaying and breaking hearts and making betas and nice guys angry, not on here posting

[–]alphabachelor1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

Yeah but not sure that you're not a retard.

[–]pornodio[S] 4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

I'm exactly like you, I like busting balls and seemingly offensive humor but am a nice guy at heart... This is a shit strategy to get hot sluts, it only gets you asexual nice anxious girls looking for a stable boyfriend

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Why would narcissists ever want to seek help? Anyone who thinks hes a narcissist and wants to seek help on his own is not a narcissist

[–]exscionewhuman2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Narcissists have a wall around their true selves. A wall so thick even they can't see through it. At the core of a narcissist is pure terror they aren't good enough, so they have to spend tremendous energy convincing others and themselves they are fine, grandiose, just naturally better than you. Deep down its a lie though. They can't truly connect with or feel love for anyone. It's not something you want to be.

[–]Snowaey8 points9 points  (2 children) | Copy

Come on dude, TRP is a toolbox and you can use it however you want, TRP doesn't tell you what to do from a moral standpoint.

In a LTR you're gonna have to be a little bit "beta" so she feels secure enough in the relationship, you'll have to find a good balance between Alpha behaviour and Beta behaviour, so she feels alot of attraction to you and a good amont of comfort simultaneously.

If you're too alpha and dont give her enough comfort, she will eventually leave since she doesn't feel secure enough.

If you're too beta and give TOO MUCH comfort, she will eventually leave because she will lose attraction.

I don't know the exact Alpha-to-Beta ratio for a LTR, but i'd say somewhere around 75/25 sounds reasonable.

[–]pornodio[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

if you are a narcy, you get women begging you for sex, but one can't become a narcy sadly

[–]Snowaey1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Okay? That doesn't mean it is the only way to get women "begging" you for sex.

[–]user201806205 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Excellent question

[–]stephvv7 points8 points  (1 child) | Copy

I’m not even gonna read this nonsense but alpha and beta males do not exist. Life would be a lot happier and easier for you men if you allowed yourself to be authentic

[–]EdvardMunch3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Radiate Love man.

Always reading about how to get people to respect you, but often they're disrespect is about them. Dont need to be tough when you know you are.

The catch is you also cant be attached to things, just enjoy the cycles as they come.

[–][deleted]  (2 children) | Copy

[deleted]

[–]lookoutitscaleb1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

That show is so good.

[–]Chunt25261 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Breh that’s a good example

[–]Lateralanouncer4 points5 points  (3 children) | Copy

If your not a natural alpha and you are faking it to get results your acting narcissistic. To be a natural alpha. that comes from actually walking the talk. Living life. Getting a thick skin. Having the experience and confidence to handle situations that arrive. Knowing when to re act. For an example. 2 weeks ago I had to shoot my old dog. As he was my third dog I had put down i new exactly how to handle the situation. All the emotions within the household. How to handle My kids my ltr and myself. Ie. ltr “take him the the vet to do it” me. “I want to be the last voice he hears as he passes I owe him that”. My previous experience turned a very negative situation into positive experience for everyone.

[–]arcanepolar4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

this is exactly right. a narcissist seeks validation. an alpha just takes care of shit that needs to be taken care of, and the people around him just know.

[–]james33742 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

This is some cringy, insecure macho bullshit here.

Coming from a poor family on acreage with a lot of animals, it was my job to "put down" pets as they needed. If you consider a family dog as family, then exploding their skull w a .30 caliber rifle at close range, just so that you can be the "last voice that they hear" is some Rambo wannabe, neck beard wearing a survival-knife in Wal-mart type ghetto shit.

Why are there so many loser Incels confidently giving advice in this forum?

[–]Lateralanouncer3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

You became emotionally triggered and didn’t get the point of my comment plus you don’t know the circumstances surrounding my decision so to me you Look like an emotional fool.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Having kids helped me less of a narcissistic person but I am who I am.

[–]Foolishoe1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yes. Strive for a balance.

[–]trele_morele1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

You can start by getting off this forum and doing something worthwile with your life. I'm not being sarcastic. Find a way to make people drawn to you and keep at it. Forget the dark triad shit. That will become your modus operandi without thinking about it once you have something larger than women to give a shit about and protect

[–]cydestiny1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Alpha and beta should not be a state of being in my opinion.

An action can be very different under different context.

An example, if a LTR complaints you about her job, what would you do? Soothes her like a baby? Ignore her because you're alpha as fuck? Fuck her because she's only for sex?

Under different circumstances, you will need to approach this differently. If she had a bad day, soothing her down works but don't just stop there, direct her to something else. If you're really busy, tell her and book a time with her to discuss about it, when you show up, buy her some flowers or give her something special to show that you cared, that is if she actually understands and follow you through.

*Never do anything or not do anything because it's alpha/beta, do something because you think that it's rationally correct. *

Of course you can't be rational everytime, so a general rule of thumb, when you start to think whether you should or shouldn't do something, you shouldn't, because your autopilot brain is rejecting such command and is passing it to your consious mind so there must be something wrong and you're under some kind of influence.

[–]GrouchyCounty1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

my husband started out the relationship pretending to be a don't-give-a-fuck asshole because he thought that was what would get him laid (it worked) and has settled into more beta behaviors over time. We've been together almost a decade.

[–]wenoopic1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

alphas, which are dudes with dark triad personalities

That's wrong. Dark triad have a higher than average percentage of alphas, but that does not means that alphas are dark triad men, same as cents are coins, but not all coins are cents.

To be alpha, you have to be your own mental point of origin, and put your interests first, shamelessly. That's what dark triad men do, but they do it out of lack of empathy, and they also "emulate" empathy in order to attract women.

By emulating, they are acting traits that women find attractive, but is not the real thing.

Dark triad men also emulate things that men find attractive, but that doesn't means that men are attracted to psychopaths. Dark triad men simply know what baits people bite.

There is a common confusion between "bad boys" and bad people, because when PUAs observed alphas (to learn), they did it from a blue pilled viewpoint, where things that are correct seemed to be unethical.

That's because blue pilled people are brainwashed into putting themselves down, and fearing being sexual, so when they see sane men acting, they think that sane men are inherently evil. BP wrongly label self respectful behavior as evil. Then it follows that pursuing your own interest, and being honest and sexual is being a bad person. That's simply wrong.

[–]pornodio[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

alphas, which are dudes with dark triad personalities

That's wrong. Dark triad have a higher than average percentage of alphas, but that does not means that alphas are dark triad men, same as cents are coins, but not all coins are cents.

To be alpha, you have to be your own mental point of origin, and put your interests first, shamelessly. That's what dark triad men do, but they do it out of lack of empathy, and they also "emulate" empathy in order to attract women.

By emulating, they are acting traits that women find attractive, but is not the real thing.

Dark triad men also emulate things that men find attractive, but that doesn't means that men are attracted to psychopaths. Dark triad men simply know what baits people bite.

There is a common confusion between "bad boys" and bad people, because when PUAs observed alphas (to learn), they did it from a blue pilled viewpoint, where things that are correct seemed to be unethical.

That's because blue pilled people are brainwashed into putting themselves down, and fearing being sexual, so when they see sane men acting, they think that sane men are inherently evil. BP wrongly label self respectful behavior as evil. Then it follows that pursuing your own interest, and being honest and sexual is being a bad person. That's simply wrong.

thanks

[–]dadfrombrad1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Stop stressing about being alpha.. just be more “normal” than everyone else in the room

[–]C00SH1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

By stop saying things like being an alpha.

[–]AJ_KG_JG0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I think you are confusing/conflating two things:

"Narcissism" in general, and "narcissism" as it exists in people with Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

They are not the same.

Read here for more info:

https://illimitablemen.com/2016/02/25/understanding-narcissism/

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

I don’t know why no one talks about this but in married man sex life primer he talks about the balance of both. If you are too beta then adopt alpha more. If you are too alpha adopt beta. Fitness test require alpha response. Comfort tests require beta response. Am I missing something? I’m new. That’s what I got out of that book.

[–]user201806200 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Can you define fitness testing vs confirm testing? As in, how to tell which test is being given?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Sorry so late. I just got around to my messages. Fitness is when you need to demonstrate Alpha like she demands something like "hold my purse!" and comfort testing is when she needs to know you are going to stay around and are worth investing time into like "Should we take a vacation this fall?" <- I'm not sure about that.. or .. "What will it be like when we are older?". I suck at all this but I'm learning.

[–]Qba19940 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Thank you man. I’ve read Models, Ego is the enemy, Man’s searching for meaning

and have just started reading No More Mr Nice Guy

I will definitely read the other one:)

My girlfriend’s grandmother passed yesterday so I gotta give her a lot of comfort right now. Any advice on helping her go through it?

[–]Tramelo0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

Porno Dio? AHAHAHAHAHAH

[–]pornodio[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

qualcosa dal carrello? diopennarello?

[–]Tramelo0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Non ci credo, li mortacci de Cristo dei sandali della stella cometa di Gesù cristo della paglia del bambinello

[–]pornodio[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

A novanta!

[–]furcryingoutloud0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

However, as a beta I'll always be resented and cucked and cheated/divorce raped, which is a nightmare.

Got some real bad news for you there. Being alpha does not preclude you from suffering any of the above. It does mean you handle the pain from the above in a more stoic manner and are therefore quicker to recover from any pain brought about by any relationship.

Is it possible to achieve both the positive of alpha and beta or is being a man basically choosing one of these paths and sticking with the fucked up life?

Of course it is. There are many shades of psychopathy which would classify you as having psychopathic tendencies yet not a full psychopath. Same goes for narcissism, and machiavellianism. It was around 20 years ago, give or take a few years, that I first read The 40 Rules of Power. I had been pretty red pill when it came to women most of my life before, but I really needed to up my business game back then.

I was disgusted by the book. But little by little, life began to show me where the rules of this book needed to be applied in order for things to work out. So little by little, I began to let these rules shine through. Don't wait as long as I did. Embrace the evil parts of these ideals early on and learn to recognize them and use them, not be them.

[–]campa56la-1 points0 points  (1 child) | Copy

"I understand that women want to have the kids of alphas, which are dudes with dark triad personalities, ie: narcissism, psychopathy, and Machiavellianism"

You don't need those traits to be an alpha, the Dark Triad are a group of personality traits not mutually exclusive with being an alpha male.

There is no positive of being a beta. You soften up and defeat your biological imperative to sow seeds but betas do it so they get pussy on the regular, or so they think.

Narcissists are narcissists and alphas are alpha, get it?

[–]pornodio[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I've noticed that nice or naive average girls go after the alpha, alphas go after hot sluts, and hot sluts go after the narcissist, and for a girl to cheat on a boyfriend she'll cheat with the narcy for sex and with the alpha to change ltr

[–]MisterRoid-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

You can label pretty much anything a mental disorder. Why are you obsessing over arbitrary definitions and trying to not fit into them? Seems pretty pathetic to me. Sort of like coming to the conclusion you can't be a vegetarian just because Hitler was a vegetarian. Some aspects of Narcissism are positive, like having an inflated sense of self-worth despite not having achieved anything. As far as I'm concerned everyone should feel like that, including you. Feeling good about yourself doesn't mean you have to be a cunt and put others down to feel better about yourself.

[–]lookoutitscaleb-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

You said "dark tried traits are not good". TRP is amoral. Nothing is "good" nothing is "bad". It seems nihilistic but in killing god, you yourself become god. That's why RP talks so much about getting your shit in order. Looking at things through the lens of society or "well-adjustedness" or through what you think SHE wants is putting them on a pedestal and turning something outside yourself into a god.

IMO you're slowly swallowing the pill. It's not what is good or bad. You decide what is good or bad. FIRST you need to unfuck yourself of what other's think is good or bad, then from there build yourself into the man you want to be. When you have the base level down it doesn't matter if you want to be with a woman and take care of her (by your rules and standards) because you know what those rules are and have set them. You won't be taken advantage of because if you do you move on. Same on the other side of the spectrum, you can take the tools here and just use women, but find that life becomes meaningless pretty quick (unless that's where you find meaning, to which end can be a rabbit hole). Either way it's about finding for yourself what you want through working towards those things that YOU want, and knowing beyond a shadow of a doubt that it is what you want. Not what you've been brainwashed to believe by society, family, women, etc. (which are all different versions of idols that you default to when shit hits the fan because you yourself aren't in the drivers seat of your life and don't want to take responsibility for your actions)



You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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