Have you ever had a girl get mad at you for not approaching?

RedSkeller · 2020-01-19T17:53:51+00:00

Yes, I saw a good friend of mine get eye ducked by a chick from across the bar, it was painfully obvious. Finally after about 20 minutes of telling him to go over and talk to her, when he got there she was pissed it took him so long and needless to say he failed every shit test after.

muricanwerewolf1 · 2020-01-19T21:52:39+00:00

There are two fundamental and self-defeating thought processes both in the OP and in this thread that are so basic it's infuriating to read them.

The first is not assuming attraction. I see it all the fucking time here "I'm average, I'm not flirty, I'm not chad" it's all based on the nonsense conditioning that the average dude somehow isn't deserving of female attention or sex. I don't even think it's fear, because the fearful guy are actually thinking about what they want and how to get it. It's even worse than that, dudes aren't even thinking about how to develop opportunities because they don't believe it's possible. So start assuming they're interested and give yourself permission to ask these broads out.

The second is "oh god, I've made a fool of myself, I'll never go back again oh jeez oh no she hates me now" knock it the fuck off you pussies. First off, I do cringier things on the regular, because I put myself out there. I've been rebuffed for a new years kiss right in front of the girl's best friends. Ya smile and take the L. Guess who I still talk to? All of those people. I've had a woman turn around and ice me out when I tried to approach her in a bar where everybody knows me, and I'll fuckin do it again. Kill Your Ego. Your worry about what people think of you is comically self-centered, and only holds you back. This woman's opinion is relevant only in that she is expressing what your very soul should be screaming at you, which is "why aren't you actively trying to fuck women?!"

DDD50_ · 2020-01-19T21:33:27+00:00

This is called "auto-rejection" -- when you don't make a move, or move as fast as a girl wants, then her hamster starts spinning and she gets pissed at you.

https://www.girlschase.com/content/secrets-getting-girls-staying-out-auto-rejection

nameisahmad · 2020-01-19T22:21:43+00:00

-A girl was eyeballing me across the gym She was attractive, my type, short and fit. - Me not giving her any attention and kept on lifting - she came to workout next to me, closer and closer, - i was working infront of a big wide mirror, i can see her completely. She is still staring at me - ok, i decide im gonna move to a different gym spot, to see if shell come - she does - thats it, im gonna approach her, - hey!, whats your name? My name is “x”, Nice to meet you x, what are you doing? - then in mid convo she just turns her back to me and leaves... - i stood there shocked..., i laughed and continued doing my shit - after that, she kept avoiding eye contact, and gave her back to me..

This is one of the weirdest experiences ive had so far, can someone explain

life036 · 2020-01-19T23:14:01+00:00

Because you took her power away. Girls almost always have the upper hand in the sexual marketplace because they're the gatekeepers. This girl let her guard down and went out of her comfort zone for once in her life and she didn't get what she wanted, so she pouts like a spoiled brat.

theUnBannableHulk · 2020-01-19T19:21:18+00:00

Lol I had a similar story OP

Girl was a cutie and super friendly
Started cleaning tables near me
I called her over and took her number
Asked her to my house
Fucked her that night

Mmm the smell of college going barista pussy with red hair.

Oh sorry OP you’re an idiot 😂

Jk

You’re just clueless and not experienced.

Go read sidebar

30DaystoSolstice · 2020-01-19T21:30:55+00:00

One thing about the abundance mentality is that you don't have to have actual abundance to start thinking in terms of abundance.

Yes woman will feel some type of way when, in their mind, they make a move and you don't respond.( no saying she did cuz she's a waitress and waitresses are nice to evbdy)

But so what. You got to get into the mindframe that you're in demand so that not approaching that particular girl is not the end of the world. There will be plenty like her or better than her.

Not saying that you should take that as an excuse to never ever approach. I'm saying not to get work out about that one particular girl with whom you missed your window of opportunity. Because if you do, you will start chasing that window back. And before you'll know it, she will become your oneitis.

ScarletWhiteEmerald · 2020-01-19T21:20:44+00:00

Recently, I can say that I've been able to relate a lot to this. I don't know if I'm doing something new that is giving me 2-3 more points in handsomeness or if slightly below average height & brown is the new sex symbol look, but I'm noticing that lately I've been getting checked out a lot.

Consequently, I've had the observation that when girls are attracted to you, they'll put out signs that they think are obvious and expect you to automatically understand their body language and go after them. So with your case, she probably was expecting you to hear her ask so much about you and think to yourself that you should get to know her better too (through a date). My prediction is the next time you're at the coffee shop, she'll be a little pouty. The time after that, she'll be friendly again and it'll be easy to ask her out.

2020-01-19T21:14:49+00:00

She was probably mad when she realised you wern't chatting her up you were just being decent, ego boost denied

mikkeldaman · 2020-01-19T23:13:23+00:00

Surprisingly, women tend to be more overt about an interaction not going the way they planned. Maybe that's cause they are so used to being the ones doing the rejection and not the ones rejected. I remember once a married lady approached me at a bar, she was very flirty, asked me how I act with girls in the bedroom, asked me if she could come over (of course nothing would happen cause she was happily married) and I just wasn't in the mood, told her that my apartment is very dirty and I would feel embarrassed to bring her over. Our interaction ended with her saying "You have a serious problem but it was nice chatting with you."

TehJimmyy · 2020-01-19T17:48:47+00:00

you could atleast be friendly back you dont have to close or smth

orishasinc2 · 2020-01-20T06:54:52+00:00

Fuck that. You do not owe the bitch anything. I get that all the time but I would rather mind my own affairs. I am the type that like to initiate with someone I find interesting. Little flirty mind game do not work for me, and womenize is a hard language to learn. Plus, there are a lot of nut jobs out there and these females all have an agenda. So be careful when she gives you the eyes. I just do not trust these hoes. Very few women spark my interest and I am OK with it. Now, if you are having regrets, that is not necessarily cool. A man should never apologize for being a man. You can possibly fuck all these hoes. Let's someone else clean up your mistakes. Move on and find a lady that actually sparks something out of you.

CuriousIncel2 · 2020-01-19T17:00:26+00:00

Yeah, I've heard women talk among themselves and express frustration about "giving signals" yet not being approached.

But it's only for the really hot guys (10%), so if you've historically not been successful with women, chances are you're reading too much into this situation.

ChiefFuckingBull · 2020-01-20T05:41:21+00:00

Yes, women can get mad when you do and when you don't approach them. Hence why you gotta learn how to read them.

RatMan29 · 2020-01-19T21:48:19+00:00

The bullshit "sexual harassment" law has made it unsafe to approach any woman at her workplace, even if you don't work there. So she should approach you. If she doesn't it's her problem, or she can blame the assholes who got the law enacted.

As for you, you've done nothing to be embarrassed about, but if I went back there I would bring a witness so she can't get you alone and then make up a false accusation of violence. Women scorned have been known to do that lately and usually get away with it.

RP_utiliser · 2020-01-19T22:16:06+00:00

[deleted]

jenovajunkie · 2020-01-19T21:50:31+00:00

Yeah, all the time. We're expected to do as they think.

jrr6415sun · 2020-01-19T21:55:24+00:00

you're looking too much into it

treigus · 2020-01-19T22:42:29+00:00

All the time. Even happens in the DMs - they beg for you to slide in or respond flirtily! Lol

mrpoopistan · 2020-01-20T03:12:30+00:00

Mmmmm . . . I don't assume anything with staff until I've had several excessively friendly encounters. I say that as a guy who has dated several bartenders and shotgirls in my time.

Generally, they know they have to turn the amplitude up because guests and customers assume that service means hospitality.

I remember one of the shotgirls when she approached me said something to the effect of "I'm not trying to sell you anything" just to make the point that she was interested.

My rule of thumb is to not piss off anyone who handles my food or drinks so I'm pretty slow to make that push.

i-am-the-prize · 2020-01-20T05:25:31+00:00

you, as a man, are expected to approach.

so much so women (feel the need to) actively shun low value men from looking at them or "getting any ideas" by sending signals to "fuckoff" so that they don't approach.

so when she didn't actively say "no" she was tacitly saying "yes, come here fool!"

you see, covert, not overt communications is how womenz communicate.

yes, you failed the first round/test.

you can go back, and just be friendly and ignore the past, if she still likes you, she'll be glad to ignore it, too. if she's still cold, do NOT be needy, just be cordial and go about your day, OI and NGAF is in your best interest (and if anything will turn the tide, that will) but do NOT be needy.

"assume attraction" (outside the workplace) is a safe standard, if a women is going out of normal roles** to pay attention to you.

** both societal roles of manners for a rando, and even service people (who are hit on constantly) if they go above/beyond to give you attention when their establishment is slow, like she did.

WiterS2 · 2020-01-20T09:09:45+00:00

When a woman give you hints, and you fail to advance, she will not keep trying.

Is not like she has permanent interest, like when you see a hot girl, and you keep perceiving her as hot days later.

The woman expects you to arouse her, so if you fail to reward her IO, she verifies that you can't arouse her, and she loses interest.

Many women get horny when ovulating, and get hungry for sex. But that happens only that day. The next day you see her, she's no more ovulating. His interest will be gone.

Ovulation is one/two day every 28. So each time you meet a woman, she has 1/28 or 1/14 chance of being ovulating. You will, by chance, get her less than once per year (unless you see her frequently), so that opportunity is not one to be wasted.

That's why you have to always reward good behavior. If she gives you IO, at minimum talk to her. That way she knows that giving IO is worth the effort.

rafaelvicuna2 · 2020-01-20T14:43:52+00:00

Lmao no, in my case, they're happy I didn't.

Youngyoda89 · 2020-01-20T19:21:28+00:00

She wouldn’t get mad at your for not approaching. Maybe she got a text that chad cancelled on her? Who knows? Who cares? You shouldn’t.

Sintar07 · 2020-01-19T21:19:14+00:00

Yep. Girl at work is mad at me right now for not approaching because we were into each other briefly a while ago, but she left for several months without a word and then came back, but I got involved with somebody else while she was gone.

Title	Have you ever had a girl get mad at you for not approaching?
Author	the--cuck
Upvotes	126
Comments	68
Date	January 19, 2020 4:34 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/eqyhbv/have_you_ever_had_a_girl_get_mad_at_you_for_not/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/have-you-ever-had-a-girl-get-mad-at-you-for-not.312055 https://theredarchive.com/post/312055

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