Q4W: How Does Not Drinking Effect a Man's SMV esp. Post College?

shellstains · 2020-01-27T13:42:47+00:00

Many, many people are sober and have had previous substance abuse issues you wouldn't even expect or just decide not to drink for whatever reason. At least for me, not drinking would be a bonus. When you're in the drinking culture you think everyone's doing it, but as soon as you stop and make new sober connections you realize that no, they're really not.

verilyvermillion · 2020-01-27T13:45:09+00:00

Ew. Men who won't have even celebratory drinks would not fit into my life

FlavFal · 2020-01-27T13:53:13+00:00

I wouldn't date a man who drinks.

T-P-T-W-P · 2020-01-27T15:22:11+00:00

I only drink somewhat heavily (usually for a party or function) once every couple months or so because it fucks with my fitness. Otherwise, I abstain or sip one all night to still look cool. Not to sound like a cocksucker, but it doesn’t really matter whether you drink a lot or not at all if you look better than most of the men around you, and you have a hold on your life. Don’t be a drunk, both for health’s sake and perceptual reasons, but also don’t be someone who outwardly demonizes partying/having fun. Many of the questions on this sub can be answered with “just don’t be stupid” and this one is no different.

philomexa · 2020-01-27T16:44:01+00:00

I cosign the breath of fresh air comment. I don't drink, I've never had a problem I just don't like how alcohol affects my body, behavior, emotions, etc. I've also spent a majority of my 20's in the music scene so I'm tired of the smell of alcohol and the antics of shit faced people.

I'm fine with a sober man, but I do smoke hella weed so if he's judgy about vices (rather than non participatory) then that's a problem for me.

2020-01-27T13:11:50+00:00

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J_Milton_Jr · 2020-01-27T12:51:51+00:00

My BF is perfect in this area, he likes to drink but not often! He is also never disgustingly drunk so that he can no longer walk or talk, he is very controlled and knows his limits.

I could never be with someone who doesn't drink anything at all, that would be too boring for me, from time to time I like to party and a guy who doesnt drink would kill my mood.

jackandjill22 · 2020-01-27T12:35:30+00:00

There is a red flag for someone who has quit drinking. Like, the subtext is that you have a "Problem". And I don't really want "Problems". Not a deal breaker, but definitely a red flag. I'd much prefer a full on drunk where at least I know what I'm getting than someone who doesn't drink at all anymore until one day he gets sloshed and hurts himself or me.

J_Milton_Jr · 2020-01-27T12:37:26+00:00

yeah for me not drinking is an immediate hard dealbreaker. i would have nothing in common with this person, i drink more days than i don't and i want to share in that with him. i also don't want the latent judgment of my habits. and idk there's just something really unsexy about a guy with hard llmits like that.

one of my best friends boyfriends doesn't drink and watching him pretend to have sober fun sitting there while the rest of us get lit has always been cringeworthy to me i hate when he comes out with us lmao

Orange_Paisley · 2020-01-27T14:10:01+00:00

There is a difference between someone who enjoys a glass or two of wine over dinner and being a raging alcoholic. The former is acceptable, even preferred. The latter is a hard no. If we can split a bottle of cab, get silly, and roll around in the hay, that’s a fun Friday night. If you’re getting drunk every night, racking up DUIs, alienating friends and family, and making a fool out of yourself, well, you need to take a hard look at your life.

I would be wary of dating a recovered alcoholic because the relapse possibility, but I wouldn’t completely discount him. And I wouldn’t drink around him, if he requested that, but he would have be able to accept that I enjoy the occasional champagne brunch on a Sunday morning with my family or girl friends.

goatismycopilot · 2020-01-27T14:52:03+00:00

I guess I am a moderate drinker I met a couple of friends last night and had a snack and a drink, that is my typical outing one or two drinks at a gathering at a friend's house or out somewhere. I keep some wine and tequila at home.

I don't care less about not drinking than they why if somebody does not drink because of religious reason or a history of alcoholism then we aren't compatible.

2020-01-27T15:13:57+00:00

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2020-01-27T16:58:14+00:00

Removed for bad faith.

rizzyraech · 2020-01-27T17:09:49+00:00

All these women saying that they wouldn't date a man who doesn't drink. WTF am I suppose to do? I am one of those people who ends up throwing up every time I drink. I could probably handle 1 beer or 1 shot of hard liquor without throwing up, but even that is enough to fuck up my articulation skills. I am that weak.

If I drink, I end up embarrasing myself. If I don't drink I am a weirdo. And I don't have enough of a presence to actually own the fact that I don't drink.

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87AudreyHorne · 2020-01-27T12:46:16+00:00

It's not that deep. I like to drink sometimes and it's not fun for anyone to get drunk with a sober person. Drinking helps get comfortable and it's really important for me, so I wouldnt date a non drinker.

Some girls dont like drinking and they would. It's a simple compatibility thing, not any alpha beta nonsense signaling

Someone who has a problem with alcohol and is a bad drunk or overkills too much would definitely have problems too with women who dont drink the same way

lefactorybebe · 2020-01-27T13:10:42+00:00

It might be a hard no from me. I like to drink, as do my friends, and it would be a real bummer if my bf didn't want to join us. Even just for simple things like a beer after you get home from work, it's just something I'd be missing. I'd also feel weird always drinking alone. Alcohol is almost a bonding thing for me, idk if I could date someone who doesn't drink at all.

And of course, sobriety implies there was previously an issue with substance abuse. I understand that it's a disease, and it's not easy, and people are able to recover and become wonderful and complete, but that's a serious deal breaker for me.

flamingoinghome · 2020-01-27T15:14:42+00:00

"Breath of fresh air" is a good way of putting it. So long as they're not censorious if you drink (although I personally don't like to drink when other people aren't), it's kinda nice.

Title	Q4W: How Does Not Drinking Effect a Man's SMV esp. Post College?
Author	noNooodleArms
Upvotes	9
Comments	117
Date	January 27, 2020 12:28 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/eun9c1/q4w_how_does_not_drinking_effect_a_mans_smv_esp/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/q4w-how-does-not-drinking-effect-a-mans-smv-esp.315734 https://theredarchive.com/post/315734

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