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Former plate messages me out of the blue saying she has herpes

Reddit View
February 19, 2020
58 upvotes

This plate I met back in August and spun for about three months up until early November just messaged me after no contact for four months.

She wrote, “hey apdo! It’s xxx, I’ve recently been tested for positive for herpes and wanted to let you know in case you have any concerns, I’m sorry.”

Now first of all, what the fuck.

Second of all, I haven’t shown any symptoms of herpes and I haven’t fucked this girl in almost four months.

I get tested for STDs regularly and got one has soon as she texted me that. Come to find out herpes isn’t detectable until you have a sore that they test and send to a lab.

Anyone else have any similar experiences? My gut and dick are telling me I don’t have herpes, but this bitch has been in my head rent free these past 24 hours.

Any advice on how to handle this is welcome, I also never responded to her message.

Edit: Thanks for the feedback fellas


Post Information
Title Former plate messages me out of the blue saying she has herpes
Author ApdoSenpai
Upvotes 58
Comments 111
Date 19 February 2020 06:07 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit askTRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/338843
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/f6engd/former_plate_messages_me_out_of_the_blue_saying/
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Comments

[–]trunksshortsman241 points242 points  (16 children) | Copy

She did the right thing by telling you.just say thanks or don’t text her at all it’s up to you

[–]opper-hombre1189 points190 points  (1 child) | Copy

Half the dudes here wouldn’t have the balls to do what she did

[–]GetBehindMeSatan66671 points72 points  (0 children) | Copy

Facts

[–]LopsidedLemon104 points105 points  (11 children) | Copy

Ya really... it takes balls to admit to someone you have an std and could have passed it to them

[–][deleted]  (10 children) | Copy

[deleted]

[–]QueenSlapFight11 points12 points  (3 children) | Copy

I have well above 10 notches and never contracted it. I know others with few and got it. Just a crap shoot. Not the end of the world. HPV is even more prevalent

[–]xxx69harambe69xxx-3 points-2 points  (2 children) | Copy

there is a 9.53674316e-5 % chance that you are telling the truth

[–]QueenSlapFight2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

9 sig figs? Really?

[–]xxx69harambe69xxx0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

0.520

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

True. H1 is common, H2 is common as well but far more frowned upon. HPV, if you've had more than 2 partners that had partners in the past, assume you have it. It's just which strain you have and what sex you are that is relevant.

[–]Mescalean1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

1/4 the pop if i remember correctly

[–]Enlightened_Chimp6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

67% have herpes type 1

[–][deleted]  (1 child) | Copy

[deleted]

[–]SaharaFatCat2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

They don't test for herpes on a STD panel and most are asymptomatic. And sex isn't required for hsv1.

[–]Millwall_SE0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

😂😂 fucking hell lad you’re shagging the wrong girls

[–]RPOpenUp1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

He's right, to add to this I believe about 50% of people have herpes. So it wouldn't really make a difference whether you know it or not

[–]sixseven892 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

He should at least say thanks.

[–]kellykebab180 points181 points  (4 children) | Copy

Whoa what a cunt! You should definitely analyze this obvious 9D chess move from a million different angles until you contract herpes from stress alone.

She's being considerate, ya dingus. Get tested if you want.

[–]MrBreitling28 points29 points  (2 children) | Copy

Are you suggesting I re-watch the entire library of videos from RedMan Group, Rian Stone, Rollo Tomassi, Rich Cooper, MLD Jon and then parse all that shit into a spreadsheet connected to PowerBI Premium and run some SSAS with Machine Analytics over that shit?

OK HOL UP

[–]TimelessNY9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy

read the sidebar backwards

[–]mugatucrazypills2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I think you need to learn R

[–]theUnBannableHulk0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

😂

[–]RedSkeller25 points26 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah I had a herpes scare years ago, first off she did the right thing by at least telling you. They can do blood work for HSV 1 and 2 which will detect genital or oral herpes but it's after 5 weeks of exposure, technically you'd be breaking out by now with sores, but some people have no symptoms for years before they get their first break out.

I wouldn't be mad at her, I'd honestly feel bad because it fucks with women pretty hard, in terms of child bearing and other lady problems and also is hugely embarrassing. Be thankful she reached out and let it go.

[–]vapel1fe4206955 points56 points  (4 children) | Copy

You really shouldn't freak out about herpes. I think its something like 80% of people get oral herpes by the time they're 40. Genital herpes has waaaaaaaaaaay more of a stigma than it deserves. Its literally just getting some flare ups of acne on your genitals then goes away. Its like a skin condition, not really an STD since it doesn't do anything to you. Standard STD tests don't even test for it since it doesn't do anything to you.

You should at least thank her for telling you. She did the right thing and she has guts for facing her embarrassment and telling you.

[–]PhaedrusHunt19 points20 points  (0 children) | Copy

It was nice of her to message you.

Looks like you found an Ethical Slut ®

LMAO

[–]ZZ3xhZz7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

Message her and thank her for letting you know. She's been really mature.

[–]CrackDaMarco26 points27 points  (5 children) | Copy

This "bitch" that you decided to fuck without a condom. You made the choice. Be thankful she's been living in your head rent free, because if you don't have herpes, now you know to be more cautious.

[–]throwawaybpdnpd24 points25 points  (1 child) | Copy

Even with a condom, herpes is easily passable through skin to skin contact

[–]CrackDaMarco1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

True, after I did a bit of checking. I assumed a condom would prevent it.

[–]QueenSlapFight4 points5 points  (2 children) | Copy

When did OP say he fucked her without a condom?

[–]CrackDaMarco0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Pretty obvious he didn't, otherwise he wouldn't be worried about it. Wearing a condom isn't 100% full-proof, but it's your best hope other than abstinence.

[–]QueenSlapFight0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Given it's pretty easy to get HSV and HPV even with a condom, yeah, it's pretty reasonable to be worried about it. If you think condoms are foolproof with them think again. They help, but they certainly aren't foolproof.

[–]FatGirlsInPartyHats8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

Blood work should be able to detect this after about 6 weeks. Odds are you have it orally as the majority of adults do.

I'd not respond, get blood work done, deny ever being with her if ever brought up.

Move on, regardless. You're fine. Even if you get it it isn't the end of the world.

Wrap it up, lads.

[–]SaharaFatCat13 points14 points  (17 children) | Copy

You probably have herpes of one type or another. You can get hsv type 1 from family or.just sports like American football or wrestling.

Type 2 is possible without symptoms (or slight unnoticed symptoms). You could have it without her giving it to you. You maybe even gave it to her.

There are also 7 other types of herpes that you have of one type or another. They are nerve infections.

Don't stress it. After a certain age, if you're not.married, you have them.both. that's just statistics.

But really... Herpes is the.most overrated STD ever... It's not.gonna.kill you. Hpv is worse and you probably have that if you fuck many girls.

[–]BusterVadge2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

For sure. If your kill count it above 50, 100% you have been exposed to it. It's possible but unlikely to catch it if your partner doesn't have any sores. Wrapping it up helps but since it's passed by skin to skin contact, is not 100% effective either.

[–]corbayz0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Plus if you have it you’re less likely to get mono

[–]SaharaFatCat0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Mono aka the Epstein Barr virus or human herpes virus 4

[–]mugatucrazypills0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

It's almost like sleeping with 100+ women because your ego needs the boost isn't worth it.

[–]BonusCheckz0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You probably have herpes of one type or another. You can get hsv type 1 from family or.just sports like American football or wrestling.

Type 2 is possible without symptoms (or slight unnoticed symptoms). You could have it without her giving it to you. You maybe even gave it to her.

This is a very real option. OP is, and has been, an asymptomatic carrier for ?. The girl is less lucky and her immune system doesnt do so well supressing outbreaks.

[–]GonadGravy-1 points0 points  (11 children) | Copy

How is hpv worse than herpes? For men it causes no symptoms unless you have a wart strain and from what I just looked up most who do have those types are asymptomatic.

For women It sucks more if they get a cancer strain, but even then they say the body clears the virus after a year or two.

I’m not sure which ones worse for us, as men.

[–]SaharaFatCat0 points1 point  (7 children) | Copy

Hpv is clearly worse than herpes.

To answer clearly here... Hpv kills 300000 people a year. That is why it is far far worse than herpes.

And in the US it causes 19000 cases of cancer in men a year almost as much as the 25000 cases for women.

[–]GonadGravy0 points1 point  (6 children) | Copy

19,000 deaths of men in the USA is literally nothing statistically. It’s less than 0.01% if you do the math. Insignificant unless you have a compromised immune system.

[–]SaharaFatCat0 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy

Nothing you said makes any sense... You are having trouble with English. I didn't say 19000 men died of hpv in the us a year. That's how many get cancer from hpv. Your comment about a compromised immune system is completely unrelated and has nothing to do with statistics.

Literally nothing statistically is 0... Not 19000. You're grasping at statistical significance which would require comparing a specific type of cancer occurring in a population with hpv infections and without hpv infections... The science has long settled that it is statistically significant (P<.05).

19000 deaths a year would be quite significant... That is more than the amount of people that die in the US from HIV per year.

It's also more than the number of homicides in the us per year.

You're either a troll, retarded, or a terrible person...

Hpv is worse than herpes... You're just wrong.... There is a reason for a major health drive to vaccinate against hpv and a reason the CDC recommends NOT testing for herpes unless you have outbreaks. One is a killer... The other is an annoyance.

And you don't consider the deaths from HIV or homicide to be significant.... smh...

[–]GonadGravy0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

Settle down kid, I don’t have time to read your walk of text you. I get you have a passion for sexually transmitted diseases...I respect that. It’s not that important to me I just thought you sounded silly and misguided.

Most people have or will have hpv, you included. Not all cause cancer, so that blanket statement is hardly true, though I don’t expect you to pick up on nuance. I’m bored of this conversation and I’ve said enough.

[–]SaharaFatCat-1 points0 points  (3 children) | Copy

You literally asked me how hpv is worse than herpes. I explained it. You attempted to deny it. You said 19000 deaths is not significant...

We all get herpes too, you included. Like mono and chicken pox. Irrelevant.

You tried to dismiss it and pass wrong info. I never disagreed that most people get hpv, I'm quite aware.... You continue to dismiss the danger of hpv by saying some strains don't cause cancer (and some bacilli don't cause anthrax)... Should still get the vaccine. You can get more than one strain....

You were just wrong... Period. And passing dangerous info.

[–]GonadGravy0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Dude you are a straight bullshit artist, you’re engaging in multiple logical fallacies. I’m literally just wasting your time fucking with you at this point, I can’t take you seriously.

[–]SaharaFatCat-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

Hpv kills 300000 people a year. Herpes does not. That's not a logical fallacy. You're the only one engaging in logical fallacies. Pretty simple.

[–]SaharaFatCat-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

You should also learn the definition of literally and what a logical fallacy is.

[–]SaharaFatCat-1 points0 points  (2 children) | Copy

It increases the odds of cancer in men too. We just have less of a chance. Get the vaccine. Even if it doesn't impact us... Let's do our best not to be giving others cancer.

[–]GonadGravy0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Thanks for the medical advice doc.

Certain types of hpv increase the odds of cancer. Just like certain types of herpes cause blindness. We should try to avoid all stds, that’s common sense. Did you just get out of health class?

Anyways, you probably have or will have hpv in at some point, vaccine or not. From the Cleveland clinic:

“Most men and women — about 80 percent of sexually active people — are infected with HPV at some point in their lives, but most people never know they have the virus”

[–]SaharaFatCat0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

No, I haven't finished my doctorate yet, but thanks.

You specifically asked how hpv is worse than herpes... So I answered.

Hpv kills 311000 people a year (who). In the us about 25000 women and 19000 men will get cancer from hpv.(cdc)

Yes, hsv1 and 2 can cause blindness. Globally about 40000 a year (Farooq 2012).

One is clearly worse.

I never said we shouldn't try to avoid all STDs.

You should still get the vaccine. It covers about 90% of the many types of hpv. Even if you have one type you should reduce your risk of the others.

[–]3chazthundergut2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

"Thanks for letting me know"

[–]guyfromthe2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Christmas came early.

[–]1Red_Pill_Brotherhood2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

She was cool to text you that. I'd reply "thanks for the heads up. Appreciated." and get tested. Dont trip in the meantime.

[–]MagnumBurrito7 points8 points  (10 children) | Copy

Remember to always wash your face and junk after a hook up. Helps lessen the chance of herp latching on to ya

[–]BonusCheckz0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

This is like child-brain science, wtf, how is this upvoted. That is not how it works.

[–]MagnumBurrito1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

[–]BonusCheckz0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Good luck washing herpes off lol. Point to where it explicitly says washing is effective for herpes. Because its not.

You people should not be fucking if you failed sex ed this badly.

[–]Livecrazyjoe0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Correct

[–]Livecrazyjoe0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Maybe he should wipe his ass after his boyfriend drops a load in his ass hole.

Don't worry washing it will prevent disease. 👍

[–]Livecrazyjoe-1 points0 points  (4 children) | Copy

Ha, this won't help. The in and out action causes it to go up your penis. Your just cleaning the outside which will do nothing to prevent you from getting it.

[–]MagnumBurrito-1 points0 points  (3 children) | Copy

Dude your dick is not an anteater.. yeah some shit will come in contact with the opening tho.

Washing doesn’t prevent all possible STDs, but it does lessen the chance of getting one.

[–]Livecrazyjoe-1 points0 points  (2 children) | Copy

It's the suction action. I guess I've been with more women than you. Or have a better understanding of stds. Doesn't matter, it will still go up into the soft tissues.

This is how hiv is spread. The soft tissues come in contact. Whether it's an ass hole or vagina.

[–]MagnumBurrito-1 points0 points  (1 child) | Copy

King of STDs should be added to your flair.

I'll take Webmd over Livecrazyjoe on whether washing yourself before and after can help prevent a possible STD.

[–]Livecrazyjoe0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

WebMD is not a doctor. But believe what you want.

[–]ElijahBurningWoods1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Some people never show any symptomes of herpes. Bloodtests will tell if you're infected. I've had the same and understand the stress that comes with it. Good luck brother!

[–]huey7641 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I think you should thank her for giving you a heads up, but thats it. If she tries to initiate contact after that, ignore her

[–]AceZentura1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

She hot tho?

[–]downvotesanimals1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

She's doing you a courtesy you dipshit. Go get tested.

[–]Endorsed Contributorleftajar1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

Herpes is also detectable via a blood draw some 3+ weeks after exposure. Your health care provider should know that.

If they tested for that, then you're good.

Thank her for notifying you, delete her number.

[–]flipdoggers2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Why delete the number? They could be herpes buddies

[–]Endorsed Contributorleftajar0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

LOL truth.

[–]Purplegetraenk1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

At least you don’t have the corona virus

[–]JurJur1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Almost Everyone has hsv-1. Should ask her if its hsv-1 or 2

[–]ay-fuh-q0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

IgG tests (not IgM) can detect HSV1 and HSV2 4-months post exposure, so you can test. Don’t do it at 6 weeks or 2 months. After 4, your tests will be highly accurate.

[–]ay-fuh-q1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Also, if you test positive for type 1, don’t assume it’s oral. Type 1 is typically cold sores, but a blowjob from a girl with a cold sore will give you genital type 1.

[–]theUnBannableHulk0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Herpity Derpity you don’t have the giggity

As long as you are clean it’s fine. She did the responsible thing, don’t over analyze situation as you’ve probably heard many ppl on here say. It’s stressful but listen to your gut and relax.

Stay safe

[–]Wrath_of_Trump0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

its not easy contracting an std and even harder telling people especially when you have no obligation to. i'd bang this girl on principle

[–]Temptationn0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

been there done that. then had to contact all the 8 girls I sleep with raw after her AND tell my gf.. i mean ex gf

[–]alamsohel19900 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Give it another 24 hours and keep yourself busy. Some sweats are unavoidable .

[–]YousifMhmd0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Remind me about a tv series called Lovesick I think he got herpes as well and he tells all his ex girlfriends

[–]I_LOVE_CHIPS0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

At least she told you.

[–]BonusCheckz0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

They dont test for herpes on STD tests, unless you have visible symotoms. No point. Virus is dormant and undetectable when not active. You may even already have it and could be asymptomatic your whole life, a carrier. Its why there is an estimate that like 30% of people have HSV 1 or 2.

[–]nexther0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

She obviously didn’t know. She did the right thing and told you. Tell her that you appreciate her telling you.

Now if you’ve not got symptoms... then you should be okay... but if anything appears get it checked straight away.

Good luck...

[–]MisterRoid0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Say thanks, but don't get tested. Why you ask? Because HSV is not a big deal and if you have it it's better to have plausible deniability because of the social stigma attached to this minor skin condition.

[–]SaharaFatCat0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

According to the CDC: "CDC does not recommend herpes testing for people without symptoms. This is because diagnosing genital herpes in someone without symptoms has not shown any change in their sexual behavior (e.g., wearing a condom or not having sex) nor has it stopped the virus from spreading. Also, false positive test results (test results that say you have herpes when you do not actually have the virus) are possible."

[–]PulmonaryArchery870 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Im pretty sure you can get bloodwork done to see if you're hsv-1 or 2 positive.

[–]30DaystoSolstice0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

This ain't red pill deep dude. Follow medical procedures.

[–]MarylandLion0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Don’t listen to what these guys tell you here. She absolutely did not do the right thing by telling you.

I’ve been in your shoes before. I spent months paranoid about every little detail of my penis, afraid I got the herpes. I tested negative at 8 weeks, but really it’s not 100% definitive till 12 weeks for a blood test. The odds of her passing it to you are slim, and doctors don’t recommend testing unless you show symptoms. If you guys no longer sleep together, there really was no reason for her to tell you. She is gonna live rent free in your head now because you will be paranoid about any slight abnormality in your dick. My docs have convinced me I’m fine and not to get tested again, but damn if it still doesn’t pop into my head that there’s a chance I have it. The amount of women out there with herpes is unreal. 1 in 4 adult females age 20 and up have it, and this is including church girls and girls with 1 long term partner in the count. If you break down the percentage of girls who participate in frequent hookups, probably 1 in 2 have genital herpes.

Unless you’re high social status or extremely good looking, herpes will destroy your SMV as a man, girls are not forgiving about that shit. Trust me, don’t bother testing without symptoms. just go back to living your life as you were.

[–]MisterRoid0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Nice of her to tell him, but yeah, it's just stupid to get tested. If you have HSV it's better to have plausible deniability.

[–]KettleLogic-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

Genital Herpes is literally a big pharma conspiracy in that they made a suppressant to it and wanted to sell it. They then started a stigma against it. something like 1/3 - 5 (depending on country) have it.

Some people outbreak once and never again, some people only outbreak when they are stressed or sick, some people life sucks and they always outbreak.

Another fun fact my dude, can sometimes take up to 3 years to outbreak so you might have it but if you do? So what take a drug if it concerns you.

[–]nameisahmad-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

If 2-3 weeks post exposure you did NOT develop any symptoms of herpes( assuming its genitals, cus 8/10 have oral now) then you did not contract it. Move on.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (4 children) | Copy

Herp isn't that bad. I got it from a girl who was hiding it in her bush. I thought it was weird she had a bush since every other girl in the city shaves. I thought I saw something in her bush but I let it go.

Occasionally I get a single wart on my dick, but it's really small and I just rip it off with tweezers. No big deal.

[–]McFuckOffx23 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

That’s not herpes dude lol

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

What is it then?I went to a nurse once who told me it was genital warts, and I thought that's basically herpes. She shot them with a freezing gun and they went away. She told me I'd only get them for a few years but I think it's for life. I'm sure I got it from that girl with the bush because I saw something similar on her box. It's been 5 years and I still occasionally get them.

[–]Livecrazyjoe0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

wut

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I said

Herp isn't that bad. I got it from a girl who was hiding it in her bush. I thought it was weird she had a bush since every other girl in the city shaves. I thought I saw something in her bush but I let it go.

Occasionally I get a single wart on my dick, but it's really small and I just rip it off with tweezers. No big deal.

[–]McFuckOffx2-1 points0 points  (5 children) | Copy

You would have known by now if you are symptomatic or asymptotic. Odds are if you got it you fall in the latter and don’t really have anything to worry about.

[–]menosaqua0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

That is complete bullshit, even if you're asymptomatic you can transmist herpes. OP needs to get a bloodtest and if it turns out tha he's positive, start taking antivirals and informing his partners before sex.

[–]BonusCheckz0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

That is complete bullshit, even if you're asymptomatic you can transmist herpes. OP needs to get a bloodtest and if it turns out tha he's positive, start taking antivirals and informing his partners before sex.

He would only test positive if the virus was active. Undetectable when dormant. Thats why they dont test for it on standard STD tests. Usually a waste of money.

[–]McFuckOffx2-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

Sure, bad wording on my part. Let people know if you got it (nearly everyone does). But otherwise personally, he doesn’t really need to worry. It will have 0 impact on his life outside of sex and most girls don’t give a shit when you tell them anyway.

[–]MisterRoid-1 points0 points  (1 child) | Copy

That's dumb as fuck. Better to not get tested and have plausible deniability. HSV is not a big deal and there's no reason for him to let social stigma ruin his sex life.

[–]menosaqua0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Kill yourself.

[–]Forsaken4321-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

Stop freaking out about stupid cold sores...

[–]frognads-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

It's normal to be freaked out about it, sounds like she didn't get tested for a while after seeing you.

This should be a wake up call to invest in condoms.

[–]fretty555-2 points-1 points  (0 children) | Copy

Weird flex but ok

[–]PureFlames-2 points-1 points  (0 children) | Copy

Maybe dont going around fucking randoms next time

[–]flatox-4 points-3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Cold soar is technically herpes, so if you have ever had that, you dont need to worry about other forms of it.



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