[CMV] Performing a sex act as a woman is equivalent to performing a romantic act as a man.

Gravel_Roads · 2020-02-19T09:35:52+00:00

But to me a romantic act is going to be about reaffirming or giving commitment.

I don't relate to this at all. For me, a romantic gesture is just a gesture of thoughtfulness for your partner. (Things like meeting my partner at the office when they get off work to walk them home, or painting them a picture of their favorite flower, or waking them up with coffee and breakfast in bed on the weekends ect.)

Doing these literally just gives me pleasure. I like making my partner happy. That is the reward.

While romance is rarely physically painful, it can hurt the other resources I listed.

only if you're giving away more than you should. I hardly ever spend money on my partner, and when I do it's usually for something we both can do together (like bringing home some top shelf weed as a treat). I don't sacrifice one iota of what I'm not willing to give freely, and I encourage my partner to do the same. I'd dump someone if they thought being thoughtful and wanting to make me happy was a burden.

I also don't want my partners to do 'sex acts' at their own expense. We have plenty of things that we both enjoy doing during sex, why would either of us want the other to feel degraded or in pain?

For me, the reward of sex is the sex, for both of us. The reward of romance is the romance, for both of us. I want my partners to feel the same. None of this weird covert contract stuff, that sounds like a joyless relationship where neither side cares about the other very much.

This argument also seems to be based on the idea that romantic acts cannot be degrading.

What romantic acts are degrading? Why would you do those acts, when there are plenty of romantic acts that aren't?

MirrorThaoss · 2020-02-19T09:25:29+00:00

You're going to get terrible answers to your post like it happened to your previous one.

You have to define "sex act" and "romantic act" properly otherwise people are going to assume the worst and you're going to spend your time defending yourself about what you meant.

At the very moment you said "sex act can be degrading", many people thought than you meant deepthroat, slapping the girl's face during BJ, jackhamerring anal, etc

Iamthegirliam · 2020-02-19T09:44:53+00:00

No.

How being romantic can hurt you? Or degrade you? You don't have to spend money to be romantic. I do romantic things all the time and I know how it works.

But "special" sex acts usually are painful or degrading for the woman. It's not ok to expect us to be in pain because you were nice to us. Anal doesn't equal flowers or hugging.

I never degrade or hurt my partner, and it's not ok to expect me to agree on being degraded during sex. I don't care that"it's just a kink".

NarniaFox · 2020-02-19T09:48:00+00:00

I can be wrong, but I think that your statements has false roots. It is based on an idea that sex is pleasure for men and romance is pleasure for women. I think that most people can find joy in both these things, they aren't strictly gendered.

And, well, even if take your ideas as true for the sake of argument, there is a difference between these two things. Sex can be not only degrading and painful, it also can be physically damaging, it has risks of STDs and unwanted pregnancy. Romantic acts usually don't have these risks.

acron5n5 · 2020-02-19T11:06:22+00:00

The main counter argument I get is that sex acts can be painful and degrading

Yes. The socio-cultural perception of sex pretty much revolves around degrading/using the woman. You can argue that 'romance cam be painful' and it might be true on an individual level (although to me for example it makes little sense), but I am talking about the prevalent point of view here. Having sex always deducts from woman's value/dignity while engaging in romantic affairs rarely does the same for a man.

CatchPhraze · 2020-02-19T13:54:22+00:00

Until you've done both don't compare them. Shove a dick up your ass. Pay for dinner. Tell me what one felt worse and I'll accept the science. Till then ur cucu for cocopuffs to me.

the-red_woman · 2020-02-19T08:43:04+00:00

Creepy. Twisted way of thinking. Why do you care more about your penis then the woman you love? That is all

In a healthy relationship both Sex and romance are given freely out of emotion for the other. None of this yucky shit about pain and degradation. Eww.

Oh and degrading yourself for someone else’s pleasure is the most fucked up thing there is. Degradation is not the destruction of pride (Pride is a sin actually), degradation is the destruction of human dignity. A right and a major component of human happiness.

superlurkage · 2020-02-19T15:15:51+00:00

We get it, you hate taking your partner out to dinner or telling her she’s beautiful. Sorry all those other men are making her feel like you should be expected to treat her like something other than a sexhole, but according to red pill, you just gotta dread her, and she’ll fall in line and stfu.

Or, if she continues to be uppity, just next her and get yourself a hotter model!

Zippo-Cat · 2020-02-19T15:45:52+00:00

This is just the extension of women are the gatekeeper of sex and men the gatekeeper of commitment.

So, an extension of a fundamentally broken theory that does not hold up to any amount of scrutiny?

Okay

Mrs_Drgree · 2020-02-19T19:41:21+00:00

[removed]

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Eastuss · 2020-02-19T10:42:44+00:00

[deleted]

Mrapocalisse · 2020-02-19T16:14:58+00:00

I've performed sex acts with more than 20 women,none of these acts had anything to do with anything you said.

rus9384 · 2020-02-20T00:04:35+00:00

I can't think of a man who wants romance without sex.

I can think of a woman who wants sex without romance.

webernicke · 2020-02-19T08:44:36+00:00

For one thing, sex is supposed to be something bidirectional while romance is generally not. Men are mostly expected to perform romantic gestures, which they themselves get little out of besides just the satisfaction of having pleased his partner.

The equivalent to this could be considered "duty" sex, except duty sex is not a part of every relationship and when it is, it isn't always the woman's role. Duty sex also has the possibility of turning into real intimacy, lovemaking and orgasm, so in that sense it could have practical benefits for the "giver."

The ideal of sex is that it's something two partners share with each other. The ideal of romance still pretty much has the active partner doing most of the legwork for little personal benefit.

Throughawayman80808 · 2020-02-19T11:29:24+00:00

Sex is pretty performative for men too, remember? A mans ability in bed is literally called performance. Nobody has ever said "oh she couldn't perform"

2020-02-19T13:32:39+00:00

The only real objection i have is comparing these two things too heavily can lead to a tit for tat mentality, which is invariably damaging to relationships.

Especially post-cohabitation, women's libido tends to fluctuate. If you scale your romantic activity back whenever this happens, she'll think you OnLY CaRe AbouT heR foR sEx, and there'll be rough times ahead.

Btw by romantic, i mean small acts that show you care about her. I think some more formalized forms of "romance" are gay. Thoughtfulness is fine, gift giving is fine, giving a massage or making dinner or whatever. All fine. I associate romance with MANDATORY thoughtfulness like anniversaries, valentines, even birthdays.

Imagine there was a day where women giving men blowjobs or whatever was not a nice spontaneous thing to do, but required. It would have a deleterious effect on relationships, and yet our materialistic ad/marketing driven culture has decided it's ok to foist the expectation of gift giving and other acts of male performativeness at certain scheduled days of the year.

Title	[CMV] Performing a sex act as a woman is equivalent to performing a romantic act as a man.
Author	Eastuss
Upvotes	4
Comments	93
Date	February 19, 2020 8:31 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/f67wlu/cmv_performing_a_sex_act_as_a_woman_is_equivalent/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/cmv-performing-a-sex-act-as-a-woman-is-equivalent.338956 https://theredarchive.com/post/338956

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