Recently, I saw a video I saw on YouTube about an informal experiment a guy did with his wife about playing video games and it has opened my eyes. There are barriers to entry for everything, including being a man.

In this video, a husband silently observes his non-gamer wife playing a few titles he picked. What he comes to realize is the challenges that she faces are things he wouldn’t even consider, because being a life-long gamer, certain things just come ‘naturally’ to him. Things such as sprinting in the original Mario game. Many people don’t know to hold down the B button to sprint, but gamers seem to just “get it" because they speak the 'language' of gaming.

I could write an entire article just reviewing that video but watch it yourself and you’ll understand what I mean.

The bottom line is, when gaming, the biggest barrier to entry is getting comfortable with a controller/mouse and keyboard. I grew up as a console gamer and can pick up any console controller and feel comfortable quickly, whereas a mouse and keyboard is more difficult because I haven’t trained my hands to move like that. Just like the hardest part of playing the guitar isn’t understanding notes, but it’s having the finger dexterity to play the notes.

By now, you might be wondering what this has to do with masculinity.

Before you can become more masculine, you must identify your personal barriers to entry. For example, for me, I was raised by a single mother. Therefore, my biggest barrier to entry was that I didn't have a masculine role model around to teach me what masculinity even was. So, for me, my first step to becoming more masculine was having to define what masculinity meant.

My only male role models growing up were guys in movies. Scarface, Rambo, James Bond, etc., were all the epitome of a man, but they're all fictional characters and highly exaggerated for the big screen. I needed a real life example of masculinity to teach me what a man was supposed to be.

Now, for you, the barrier to entry might be something else entirely. Maybe you have a clear idea of what a man is, but maybe you've never had responsibility. Maybe your mom did all your laundry, didn't make you clean your room, didn't discipline, or perhaps you just lack consistency. There are a ton of things that could be holding you back from becoming the King you are. Do some reflection and figure out, what do you truly want? And what are the basic requirements you need to learn, like that gamers wife having to learn how to use a controller before she could beat a game, and break it down to smaller, more manageable goals. Before you know it, you'll speak the 'language' of masculinity and being a man will become your nature.