Holy Crap! Some bitch I work with reported me for sexual harassment for something I said to another girl while we were at a bar together.

VasiliyZaitzev · 2017-03-14T00:52:15+00:00

Well, first, you have the right to remain silent. If you give up that right, stupid things like "admissions" come out of your mouth.

Your new position (and the one you had all along) is that you asked a question about a medical procedure that someone else brought up and was describing. You might well have asked about her bunion surgery (if she had had that).

Also you think it's weird that someone is sexualizing a discussion of surgery, and maybe it's that person with the "problem".

If you're tight with the girl who left, maybe she will back you up. In the mean time, you need to be on "best behavior" around Kruella von Kuntenstein who reported you. And you need to be plotting the destruction of her career, without anyone finding out of about it, and with complete deniability.

ETA: Also, don't get drunk at work functions, even ones that are "unofficial" like going-away parties. It's not a percentage move, as you just found out.

Str_ · 2017-03-13T22:28:33+00:00

Be careful about shitting where you eat. Also, getting so drunk you have a difficult time recalling what exactly you said isn't something you should do when you're not at your own home.

Also, you may have no respect left for this woman who's shown herself as a 'cunt' to you, but I guarantee your boss doesn't feel the same. Your boss will always side with the female due to keeping liability away from himself. Good luck, it's a tough situation.

creating_my_life · 2017-03-13T22:57:41+00:00

Despite my explanations

"I do not recall this situation."

Unfortunately, my other advice is to now be prepared to be black-listed at work. You might not even notice it, but you're now a liability to the company through HR. Maybe you'll miss out on promotions, opportunities, or top-tier clients. Or maybe not.

Tighten up your game--work is WORK ONLY, and keep a keen ear to the ground.

SisyphosOnTop · 2017-03-13T23:21:41+00:00

Why do you get a 'verbal warning' (lol next time a 5 minutes time out or what...) for something that happened with a coworker outside of work? Like WTF? What a kindergarden bullshit.
It can have many reasons why she did it but in the end she is fucking with your career. So treat it that way. Read this and more: https://illimitablemen.com/2013/12/02/understanding-machiavellianism/
Do not let her know that she is human waste and you lost all respect for her. She felt disrespected by you. At least that's what she would say if you would talk this shit out. I advise against it.
Treat her like nothing happened. Treat her with respect. Treat her like a male.
Never forget.

GunsGermsAndSteel · 2017-03-13T23:01:19+00:00

I keep trying to get my wife to understand that her work colleagues ARE NOT her friends; they are, at best, neutral acquaintances. At worst, they're looking for anything she says or does that they could report to HR to get themselves into a more favorable position.

I don't really need to remember that myself. I own a small business and I work alone. But she works for a big company and is always trying to figure out who is "on her side".

Nobody. Nobody is on your side. They're on their own fucking side.

Also women in the workplace are Dramaticus Bitchicus.

Spidertech500 · 2017-03-13T23:29:50+00:00

Don't shit where you eat kid.

Tren_Black · 2017-03-14T01:17:37+00:00

Work out a way to fuck her over at a time that will have no implications to you. She sounds like a self entitled cunt that's not to be respected. It's cunts like her that are contributing the to de masculation of men.

malignantbacon · 2017-03-13T23:15:53+00:00

Do you get warnings for shit like this at work often? Your best bet honestly might just be to let it roll off your back and don't spend time with your cunty coworker anymore. As in... don't go to things you know she'll be at, don't eat around her, nothing. A verbal warning alone is harmless, but they gave it to you because they're legally obligated to keep records of things like this and future interaction with this lady is always gonna be risky.

TLDR, you're overreacting unless you plan on getting into similar situations again.

Dr_HoaxArthurWilmoth · 2017-03-13T23:37:22+00:00

Either find a way to get her fired or quit, or start working on that resume'.

alisonstone · 2017-03-14T05:44:02+00:00

Act professional to your co-workers all the time, even when you are not at work.

Also, don't get drunk. You might like it and think it is fun, but don't do it. Eating a giant slice of cake every day is fun too, but most people are able to resist. Being drunk is not good for you. Don't be drunk.

You might not have said anything wrong, but if you look drunk as hell and you don't realize that you are staring at people weirdly and drooling or something, you are going to screw a lot of things up. Being drunk is not good for your reputation. Since this is a group of co-workers, I'm betting that most of the other people had enough sense to not be drunk and you were probably the only one.

nodoxsavefreespeech · 2017-03-14T01:23:33+00:00

Dude... find a way to bounce from the company and give as little notice as possible. Do it in such a manner as to fuck this chick over as much as you can.

You're done at this company if you continue to work in any proximity to this cunt.

Seriously. Bounce and leave a shit storm for her to clean up.

batfish55 · 2017-03-14T00:48:12+00:00

This is why MGTOW is a thing.

nonnimoose · 2017-03-14T17:30:11+00:00

Your boss had to give a verbal warning because company protocol requires it. If he doesn't follow this protocol, the company could be held liable for not promptly and properly responding to an allegation of sexual harassment.

While this is the official policy, unofficially the woman who reported you did herself NO favors. When HR gets these kinds of complaints (minor allegations that could easily be discredited), it's the complainer who is regarded as a trouble maker. She just stamped herself as a too sensitive, thin-skinned tattler that will overreact to a mere slight.

What you should do from now on: Do not trust this woman. Continue to be present and professional. Do not bring up the incident ever. Do not get drunk with coworkers. Do not discuss a woman's body parts in a group setting, especially one with coworkers. Any body part - not even, "you have cute ear lobes."

W_O_M_B_A_T · 2017-03-14T02:37:53+00:00

Demand to get it in writing, on an official company form. Tell him a verbal warning isn't good enough for you. If he refuses to give you a written report detailing his warning, then ask for an apology.

If he won't do either, tell him you're respectfully, professionally going to disregard his verbal warning as well your current conversation, and go about your business. It didn't happen as far as you're concerned. Then thank him for his time.

He has no legal grounds to write you up for something like this, and he knows it. Doing so qualifies as hearsay and retaliation, unless the alleged victim herself claims she doesn't feel comfortable working with you.

kutie-pie · 2017-03-14T00:48:29+00:00

how the hell do you report something if it's an out of work context ??

TheRidgeway · 2017-03-14T01:48:43+00:00

Just find another job, man. Who needs to deal with shit like this? Its only going to get worse going forward if you stay there.

michael_wilkins · 2017-03-14T02:00:37+00:00

This is a reminder of what sexual harassment laws are.

Read them one time. They probably have a line regarding "any sexual comment that makes anyone feel uncomfortable, whether directed to them or not"

shaclad · 2017-03-14T05:37:42+00:00

"she's told on me for a couple of other minor things...I'm absolutely stunned that she would do this" Really...

InformalCriticism · 2017-03-14T08:16:30+00:00

I'm fortunate not to work with many attractive women. It's probably born of jealousy, so keep your intentions and your "attention" neutral.

This is what they mean when they say not to shit where you eat.

You were giving a co-worker, presumably not your boss, or anyone above the anonymous tip woman, attention. If you are a high value male, and you're giving someone "lower" than her attention, you're messing with her social identity. She has likely placed her social value on her position in the company, rather than what men actually value sexually, but you reminded her of her private lies to herself.

Just be careful, and remember that men are treated like accessories to each woman's solipsistic existence. And in the work place, this means being a valuable employee and nothing else. Unless you're "the boss", you have to tap into your inner beta, or you'll be a prime target for the scorned "I deserve it all" feminist every time.

InChargeMan · 2017-03-14T08:19:28+00:00

Do nothing for now, just keep your guard up. Then, one day, you will strike. So many opportunities if you don't try to force it. Making her miss deadlines is a good one. Or, after you leave the company post an anonymous craigslist add for free shit, just come to the office and ask for Cunty McCuntFace. Or, if you are really malicious, send people to ask for free shit from her boss and add something in the post that can be traced back to her.

Is it immature? Hell yeah.
Is it a waste of time? Hell yeah.
Would it be satisfying? Hell yeah.

johnnight · 2017-03-14T12:07:26+00:00

People will only stop shooting at you, if they fear you shooting back.

Scrubpuppy · 2017-03-14T12:08:31+00:00

Step 1. Don't ever hang out with work people unless they are the same gender and are your kind of people.

There is no step 2 because that's really all you need to know. I'm glad your oneitis is moving away though.

MattyAnon · 2017-03-14T18:40:43+00:00

Instead she's proven to be a total cunt.

Get used to it - there's plenty of them around and society enables and encourages this behaviour.

This is how women behave - they pit men against each other. This means complaining to management or other authority to undermine your power and increase hers.

Learn that this is how they operate and live your life accordingly.

For now - keep quiet and plot your revenge. But don't get caught.

stonepimpletilists · 2017-03-14T18:44:54+00:00

Vox Day has a wonderful book, its about SJW attacks, but it's apt here.

Stay calm, realize no one cares
don't apologize
get it all in writing.

He puts it into better perspective, and it's apt here. Also, be aware, all HR cares about is being liable to a lawsuit, say nothing, ask them to put any formal complaints in writing, and hold for legal counsel (for any wrongful termination lawsuits)

You'll find these go away right quick. Remember, no laws were broken, the company only wants the easiest way out, on teh cheap, and with less risk

AFPJ · 2017-03-14T20:26:50+00:00

Despite my explanations he still had to give me a verbal warning.

In CorporateLand, explanations only lend credence to fault - don't do this again. Set an appointment with your boss, tell him you believe X has it out for you & needs to seek mediation rather than unprofessionally complain. Keep your cool because you are not the issue and she's just fucked herself out of any possible promotions, and likely even merit raises, by creating work / paper trails / problems for your supervisor in hopes that you will overreact to something.

adidasimwearing · 2017-03-14T21:35:04+00:00

Ahh this is so in my wheel house. Without qualifying...women with big tits are tired of them when they're 20, sick of them when they're 30. Oh my neck, oh my back, blah blah blah never mind that they've gained 30 lbs. and totally out of shape.

Regardless...guys: don't talk about women's breasts especially in the workplace. I think OP got a raw deal for genuinely being interested but because you have a dick means you don't get to talk about it. Women with big breasts HATE their big breasts and have garnered a lifetime of negative attention (negative to them). When they get them reduced they want to pretend like it didn't happened and "certainly nobody will notice that much". The breasts, even reduced, are still a mega-no trespass topic.

I have some awful experience with breast reductions. Sorry if I went off on a tangent.

RunawayGrain · 2017-03-14T22:08:53+00:00

You also know that someone is out for you now. So keep your mouth closed and lay off the booze while around people from work.

dan_legend · 2017-03-13T22:39:57+00:00

Sue her for libel/slander/defamation and intentional infliction of emotional distress .

DevilishRogue · 2017-03-14T09:39:54+00:00

Go to your boss, say that after seeking legal advice you believe the complaint to be vexatious and ask what the procedure is for dealing with vexatious complaints. Be as serious as cancer and more importantly state that you don't hold it against your boss. Say "I'm sorry that they've put you in this position", making it clear that it is their fault for this and all you are doing is protecting yourself from false and malicious allegations. Write a log of every interaction related to this at the time it happens. Be by the book. If he asks why you are doing this say you want it expunged from your record and that nothing less is acceptable. If you can make the argument of harassment as this was someone eavesdropping on a private conversation away from work about a medical procedure someone else was describing to you. Meanwhile, take every opportunity to passively aggressively make her life as difficult as possible without any comeback to you.

assured_destruction · 2017-03-14T00:12:04+00:00

I would talk to HR. ( unless they are known to be SJWs ) Explain this happened outside work and working hours It was part of a conversation SHE started. It was completely in context.

I had a girl who mentioned in an exit interview that we would talk about sex ( I don't know exactly what she said, they wouldn't tell me ). HR went ballistic. Then I explained she came to my office started every conversation, it was about HER sex life not mine and she was interrupting MY work, I could not get her to leave

Situation over.

WhorehouseVet · 2017-03-14T01:35:04+00:00

Put a condom in her office and report her to HR, makes sure you talk a out how it made you felt this is an unsafe work environment.

Title	Holy Crap! Some bitch I work with reported me for sexual harassment for something I said to another girl while we were at a bar together.
Author	Snazzy_Serval
Upvotes	51
Comments	82
Date	March 13, 2017 10:26 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/5z88gn/holy_crap_some_bitch_i_work_with_reported_me_for/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/holy-crap-some-bitch-i-work-with-reported-me-for.370 https://theredarchive.com/post/370

Comments