The Private Man Hosts Goodbye Party

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January 30, 2017

It's with sadness I'm announcing that The Private Man, a prolific staple of the manosphere, is having a goodbye party for the manosphere in light of recent news, and has offered and open invitation to the community.

He's been a great mentor since I discovered the manosphere, and has put a lot of effort into individual coaching and advice for countless men worldwide. He is somebody I've always considered a friend.

Leave a kind word for him on his blog or here if you get a chance. You can find details here.

Post Information
Title The Private Man Hosts Goodbye Party
Author redpillschool
Upvotes 325
Comments 52
Date 30 January 2017 09:14 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit TheRedPill
Original Link
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Red Pill terms found in post:
the red pillmanosphere

[–]TRP VanguardHumanSockPuppet138 points139 points  (3 children) | Copy

This community owes its existence to the contributions of selfless men. Men who, past the point of self-actualization, choose to give something back, and to use their insights to help other men find freedom and happiness. Private Man is perhaps the finest among them.

Thank you Private Man, for being a big brother to so many of us. You shall live forever through the lives you've (quite literally) saved from misery and damnation.

[–]Barezark3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Wrote a poem this morning - inspired by some of y'alls comments:

The Private Man

So here we are at the final curtain's call.

You've lived a full life and stood tall through it all.

Every highway traveled, every question asked -

A realized man, a role that shall be recast.

The fourth stage has been set, the metastasis sweeping.

In the end there will be more than just our hearts weeping.

In the young men you inspired,

miserable and undesired.

Your words shall live on forever,

through our struggle and endeavor.

One more party - a fine way to bow out.

A chance to right the order at checkout.

Thank you for being a compass, a rock,

a private man not running out the clock.

[–]Top_Brazzler0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

It's not selfless to repay a favor. Internet has taught me transcendent-game, and I'm fucking thankful & not a dick

[–]VigilantRedRooster110 points111 points  (2 children) | Copy

I didn't know The Private Man, but his contributions to the Manosphere are the studs and wiring of TRP. I offer an epitaph, for still-warm ears:

A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects.

-Robert A. Heinlein

[–]TheSp4rk0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Great epitaph.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

build a wall, pitch manure

how apt

[–]rhuffq54 points55 points  (9 children) | Copy

Wow, huge props to him. Death is right around the corner and he is facing it like a boss.

[–]D4rkr4in28 points29 points  (8 children) | Copy

he's facing it like a real man.

[–]The Private ManZamarski46 points47 points  (5 children) | Copy

Well, having a party is always a good idea.

[–]Senior Contributordr_warlock15 points16 points  (1 child) | Copy

Do you have an archive for your work so when your site inevitably shuts down, your work is still view-able?

[–]Modredpillschool[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

I'll archive it myself for

[–]The_Best_011 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I wish I had balls like you, man. Thanks so much for all the great content!

[–]smokeybehr0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Andrew WK would be proud.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

you're leaving big footsteps behind, being the giant you are.

[–]RedIntrovert1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Literally my first thought when I read through.

[–][deleted] 24 points25 points  (0 children) | Copy

Living and Dying like a man. What an inspiration.

[–]adyroks12 points13 points  (0 children) | Copy

You will live long in our hearts. Thanks for being a helping hand in my jouney.

[–]NeoreactionSafe12 points13 points  (0 children) | Copy


I'm one year older that him.

My dad died of cancer at 45 years old (after about 8 years of brutal radiation and chemo) and he was able to hold a strong mental attitude until the end like this guy is doing. My dad could still even be creative and funny while in that intense pain... Amused Mastery while suffering physically.

They aren't making these types of men anymore. (more the exception than the rule)


[–]trippinallday25 points26 points  (10 children) | Copy

Not to sound like a hippy, but cannabis oil is fairly effective at combatting liver cancer. If it's already metastasized it's unlikely he'll be totally cured but it definitely has the possibility to shrink the tumor and buy him more time.

At worst it just helps with the pain, at best he'll gain a serious reduction in his symptoms and more time on this earth. There's no reason not to try.

[–]newName5434566 points7 points  (9 children) | Copy

And to think many still oppose its legalization, even for medical purposes, because "hurr durr, psychoactive plant"

[–]hamsterbator5 points6 points  (8 children) | Copy

i don't oppose its legalization but the idea that it is anywhere close to "fairly effective at combatting liver cancer" is ridiculous.

[–]trippinallday3 points4 points  (7 children) | Copy,%20212-2%20induces%20cell%20cycle%20arrest%20and%20inhibits%20the%20proliferation%20and%20migration%20of%20human%20BEL7402%20hepatocellular%20carcinoma%20cells.

Liver cancer is generally very difficult to treat, however this study and many folk's individual stories seem to corroborate that the tumor-reducing effects of certain cannabinoids are an incredibly effective treatment by comparison.

[–]1Sir_Distic2 points3 points  (6 children) | Copy

Directly from his blog:

Also, I don’t want to hear about some great aunt who fought off cancer by bee-sting therapy or smoking copious amounts of strong marijuana. I know you mean well. I know you want the best for me. But I won’t be taking in alternative therapies that don’t work on statistically large enough numbers.

[–]trippinallday8 points9 points  (5 children) | Copy

This isn't an "alternative therapy", directly from the study:

Cannabinoid WIN55, 212-2 induces cell cycle arrest and inhibits the proliferation and migration of human BEL7402 hepatocellular carcinoma cells.

They figured out how this exact cannabinoid goes in and fucks up the cell cycle of this type of cancer cell, preventing it from growing further and spreading. It's not some fringe study either, it's funded and endorsed by the NIH. He'd be stupid to not take a simple step to improve him quality of life and his symptoms.

[–]RedDeadCred0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

It's utterly blue pill to assume something won't work just because it has a lack of proper studies on it.

[–]trippinallday1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

And even more bluepill to assume something won't work when there's significant scientific evidence saying it will

[–]makeshift980 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

But something will work simply because you want it to?

[–]RedDeadCred1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

It only works if a pharmaceutical company says it works, duh.

[–]QQ_L2P0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Hey, don't knock the Placebo effect.

[–]∞ Mod | RP Vanguardbsutansalt8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

Well god damn. I had no idea.

Any word on if the blog will remain open or turned over to someone for safekeeping? This is a great legacy to leave behind. I just hope it's properly curated.

[–]sizzlingseveral5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

I just hope that when my time comes, I can face it as well as The Private Man has.

[–]JustDoMeee6 points7 points  (2 children) | Copy

Anyone have links to some of his best posts?

As someone who found RedPill first and didn't read many writing from other parts of the manosphere, this is my first time hearing about PrivateMan, he seems to have changed a lot of lives. What are some of his best posts?

[–]8n0n4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Anyone have links to some of his best posts?

I'd just dive in and go through the links he has archived on his blog.

Some of it may be familiar to use readers of this sub, but I see no harm in revision with an alternative viewpoint.

Late edits: a (larger site than I thought) selection of links I'll build up as I go, some for practical reasons while others are to prompt more discussion. This is ongoing so please be patient as I modify this post.

Have A Social Comfort Zone - archive

A much better method for helping shy [not to be confused with introverted] people break out of their shell. Men's sheds might fit some of this criteria.

Recycled link used for blog entry comments, original here - archive.

Snooping And Fishing - archive.

Greatest First Date Question Ever - archive

The Aspiring Alpha Orbiter - archive

An Ugly Social Expectation And More On Female Projection - archive

Good Frame: Statements, Not Questions - archive

Note: Good example of frame, leading vs asking.

Man Talk - archive

Good Frame in practice.

One Online Dating Profile – Two Cities - archive

Note: Supports previous TRP posts about location affecting results. Calibrate your profile to your location.

Day Game Openers – A Recommendation - archive

I like the comment on this blog entry: 'Game = People Skills'

The Choreography Of Attention - archive

Day game: The timing of an approach is vital.

The List - archive

Revision: Qualifiers women list for men on dating sites are shit tests [credit to anon comment].

Online Dating Game And The Delayed Response - archive

Fix your damned voice - archive

The Confidence Sub-Routine Expanded - archive Hates Happy Relationships - archive

The longer your single and looking, the more money dating sites make. Be wary of the intentions of site admins, remember the Ashley Madison hack with 90-99% fake female profiles [archive].

The Female Self-Esteem Crisis - archive

Off topic: First time Roosh may have commented on this site.

Rationalization Hamster – Post Recycle - archive

Lines up well with the self-esteem crisis post.

The Broken Gender Social Contract - archive

Revision: Eroding male masculinity, notice this was written in 2011 and still accurate today.

Throttle Back To Beta - archive

Calibrate your alpha/beta blend to maintain the balance of a plate. Important: this only prolongs duration of your turn, all plates break.

A Woman’s Unspoken Rule On Intimacy - archive

Men should know this: Before a woman is intimate (physically or emotionally) with a man she is actively looking for reasons to reject him.

The Hamster In This One Is Strong - archive

This Story Must Be Read… It’s Long, Too. - archive

A repost on female solipsism written by Ian Ironwood.

The Real Work In Relationships - archive

Here is the real secret of relationship work:

A women maintains her attraction to her husband by being feminine on an ongoing basis despite the stress of child-rearing and job.

A man maintains his attraction to his wife by being masculine on ongoing basis despite the stress of career and maintaining a household.

Concern Or Control? A Woman’s Shit Test - archive

The Dating Phone - archive

The Accidental Entertainer – Don’t Be Him - archive

In the presence of women, a man shouldn’t be a wretched clown all the time. It’s demeaning to the man and sets him up to be the accidental entertainer.

Mining The Comments For Gold - archive

Judgmental Bitch Meets Online Dating - archive

Men, Beware The Narcissistic Female Blogger - archive

Revision: Blogs, Instagram, FB, all chic crack for validation.

The Rationalization Hamster Is Now Immortal - archive

The logic behind the female hamster and how it is never a womans fault.

Take His Side - archive

Recommended reading [post and comments]; options to stop being a validation ATM.

Generation Spinster - archive

Comment by John

A woman who wants you will think of you as the prize. A woman who can do without you feels as she is the prize. Use this knowledge accordingly.

What Are You Really Good At? - archive

Revision: Have a mission/purpose in life that lies beyond women. This generates self-confidence [game/charisma].

Stealth Red Pill Lessons – Weekend Weirdness - archive

Comedic relief: A Woman Visits The Veterinarian… - archive

This is not a definitive list so anyone finds something I missed worth linking is welcome to do so (blog url and an archive link given his health). does play up on occasion (was not working during some of my post edits), copy the blog titled URL and paste the url in the search textbox at if 'archive' does not have a link or fails to load ( as a backup archive for the occasions webarchive is unresponsive).

Most of the above was just from 2011, fast approaching the 10,000 character limit on Reddit posts so take heed when I say visit that site, click the monthly links then click on the blog entry titles. Don't miss the comments, some gold in there.

Read this post at own risk and presume this has been modified by Reddit Inc

[–]Katavasis4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy


Even now,the guy is giving a lesson. That motherfucker is holding his frame,he is being a man at the face of death.

I cannot say i would be able to do that.

I believe there is comfort knowing,that unlike most people you will leave a legacy behind you.

[–]TheRedCherd points points [recovered] | Copy

You and everyone you love will be dead in 100 years. Very few people alive right now will make it to year 2117. Us members of TRP and all of it's trolls are dead. You don't matter. I don't matter.

In 1917, the world was filled with crazy people just like us. Not babies, but teenagers, college kids, parents... Each different with their own society norms, ambitions, goals, hardships, families, ideas and belief systems. They are all dead.

All of our current problems, feelings, interactions, embarrassments, accomplishments, they don't matter. Neither do you.

Very few people throughout history (like The Private Man, presidents, actors, authors, artists, etc) will be documented, remembered, and inspired by us humans... I know what you are thinking: "So the majority of us don't matter but some of us do then, right?" Key words: us humans.

Us humans, don't matter. Period. We only matter to other humans. There were great species before us that ruled earth. They're wiped out. They are a blip in the history of our planet. Us humans, we don't care how dinosaurs felt, or how one velociraptor always got approach anxiety, or their hardships, or their families. We just think its fuckin' cool to dig up their bones and reassemble them. Humans are just a blip in history of our earth, so are you.

Humans WILL be wiped out eventually, it is inevitable... and just like before us, there will be great species after us that rule earth. IF... there is any earth left. At the rate we are at, our life expectancy is rising to 100 rapidly, and not to mention these bitches are shittin' babies out left and right. Humans are going to overpopulate, and destroy Earth. But doesn't earth matter? .... nope.

Hubble telescope currently reveals an estimated 100 billion galaxies in the universe, and our technology is limited. There are way more. Galaxies, not solar systems. (Our solar system is the planets around our sun, for you illiterate fucks) In our galaxy alone there are over 100 billion solar systems.

You think earth is the only planet capable of life in the whole universe? You think Earth matters? You think you matter? ...Please. Our universe will NEXT Earth and all its inhabitants like you did to that wasted HB4 at the bar last night. Aliens defiantly exist, and guess what... THEY DON'T MATTER EITHER.

I hope the few of you reading realize your problems and fears are nothing. because, trust me, nobody gives a fuck.

[–]2IVIaskerade3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

It's sad to see him go. I'm sorry I can't be there - it'd be nice to look him in the eye one last time.

Ah well, life's too short for regret. I'll raise a glass to him tonight.

[–]Endorsed Contributorsqerl4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Wow. I heard about the cancer but didn't realize it went terminal. He's definitely one of the best in the manosphere. A straightforward, WYSIWYG, pillar of the community.

God speed Private Man. Thank you for being a compass, a rock, and beacon of light for myself and so many others. May we take up the torch and carry it forward with the same strength and dignity as you have done for us.

[–]RedIntrovert6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

This track puts it quite nicely:

"Can't you see? Death is not the greatest loss.

The greatest loss is what dies inside us while we're still alive.

You didn't even take time to notice the distinct lack of colour.

Lives lost to the plague and this rat race.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

My dad died of lung cancer, spent his last days on an oxygen tank, unable to walk around. Was a brutal final year. A few years later, my only uncle on his side got diagnosed, hung himself in the garage that week.

Most of the chicks were pissed off because he made his wife suffer through that, but I saw the best lesson he ever gave me (other than how to drink like a man)

He owned his life, shit like this always hits me in the feelings.

Good on you brother, can't take it with you

[–]1Entropy-72 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

That really sucks. My father got struck down by brain cancer.

I didn't follow PM's stuff but warmth I feel from these comments tells me what kind of guy he is.

[–]abdada3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Really heart wrenching. I met him in SoFla a few years ago as I winter there and he met me up for a few hours. Great guy and I'm currently planning to return to Chicago the day before but will see about moving my flight out so I can hit the party.

[–]LiftYouFools1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

There's a cancer doctor who allegedly managed to cure a lot of patients suffering from different types of cancers. This is the website

He has been battling the government and FDA for years since they would be loosing milions of dollars from lack of interest in chemotherapy and cancer drugs.

There is even a documentary I suggest everyone who is sceptical watches. Its really eye-opening and clear proof that there really are cures for cancer but some people don't want it to be know for their best monetary interests.

This is the documentary, watch it:

[–]thebrandedman0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Shit. I remember hearing about him for the first time on here. His stuff was inspirational. I'll raise a drink to the man.

[–]FactCheckOnTheFly0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

This community owes the Private Man a debt of gratitude. God Speed, my friend.

[–]ModCrimsonPerspective0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

This community owes much of existence to selfless men like you. God Speed, my friend.

[–]Luckyluke230 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I'm sorry to hear this... I didn't know the man, but I'm glad he was around to help the community.

since it's 9am and I'm drinking coffee. the next ones for you man!

[–]merkucjo0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

There is book by Louise Hay about different diseases and causes for them. Eye diseases were caused by lack of love to world near you.

[–]Limekill0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

The guy was top bloke. So if you can - Party it up!

[–]TRP Vanguard: "Dark Triad Expert"IllimitableMan0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

May your party be epic, and your slumber peaceful Drew. /u/Zamarski

PS: cocaine and hookers.

[–]yummyluckycharms0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

hmmm....sounds like a good blog - sorry I missed out on it till now. I hope he has a good party and goes out the way he wants to. Personally - I've never heard of people getting better after chemo - maybe its just incompetent canadian doctors - but if I was him - have a great party and then take an overdose of sleeping pills in a hotel room after leaving a note for loved ones. Simple, clean, no fuss.

[–]Maxeydee0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Do not go gentle into that good night, Old age should burn and rave at close of day; Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Though wise men at their end know dark is right, Because their words had forked no lightning they Do not go gentle into that good night.

Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay, Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight, And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way, Do not go gentle into that good night.

Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay, Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

And you, my father, there on the sad height, Curse, bless, me now with your fierce tears, I pray. Do not go gentle into that good night. Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I learned a lot from Private Man. He was and is a good blogger, he explicated Red Pill principles better than most, and is a hail fellow well met. He is also a professional writer, which explains why his stuff is so damn good.

Godspeed, PrivateMan. May the journey be light from here on out.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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