Bronnie Ware was a nurse who spent 7 years at the bedside of the dying and elderly. She compiled a list of the top 5 regrets of the dying| here they are, avoid them at all cost[TOOL]

redpill-account · 2017-04-18T12:38:23+00:00

Brilliant.

No one makes it out of this life alive , we must make the best and live without regret.

And not regret in a hedonistic sense, but rather from an accomplishment standpoint .

Do you wish you had watched more Netflix, or signed up for that marathon.

Do you wish you would have maximized and reached your potential.

So you wish for a legacy of not only success, but love.

Would you rather be a senile billionaire, or someone who thousands of people miss because you left s positive impact on them and the world

xx69bootyhunter69xx · 2017-04-18T14:27:29+00:00

On this topic, check out this TED talk about the Grant Study.

The gist of it is that researchers have spent over 75 years studying (mostly) men to determine what makes us happy. It's by far the longest running study of its kind. They were incredibly thorough, including things for analysis that you wouldn't believe.

He also talks about a second study, running since the late 1930s. It tracked another group of men. Later, they also included women and children.

The two groups included both rich and poor people, healthy and unwell people, addicts--you name it.

Here's a salient quote from the TED talk:

"So what have we learned? What are the lessons that come from the tens of thousands of pages of information that we've generated on these lives? Well, the lessons aren't about wealth or fame or working harder and harder. The clearest message that we get from this 75-year study is this: Good relationships keep us happier and healthier. Period. "

Phaeer · 2017-04-18T16:10:08+00:00

Every time I hear this I think to myself "What if thinking all this bull crap before you die is the mistake and not the other way around". Hindsight is 20/20.

Alphaspire · 2017-04-18T13:22:21+00:00

2. I wish I didn’t work so hard.

This one bothers me, or at least the wording of this headline does. What I hope they really meant here is they wish they didn't work so hard for "the man", toiling away for someone else to get a far greater benefit out of you.

I see hard work as a good thing. Working your fingers to the bone for a tiny paycheck while making no progress on yourself, on the other hand, is definitely a bad thing.

[deleted] · 2017-04-18T14:42:04+00:00

WHat is interesting about this is the generation gap now. Most of these things have been somewhat addressed :-

I wish I had let myself be happier

We've become entitled happiness now more or less. We are much more aware of what makes us happy and what doesn't (or we are supposed to be).
I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends

It has never been easier.
I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.

Cant say people are not good at this nowadays.
I wish I didn’t work so hard.

Whilst the work economy is in the toilet, with a bit of patience and effort you now not only can have a lot of free time with good pay but also you dont have to do something you hate for life.
I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

I agree people still do this, but again the choice is there where is once was not.

And people are more miserable now than ever. I think when they interview our generation when we are dying, the answers will be quite different. Indeed, Im not that old but many of my regrets run opposite to these.

NibblyPig · 2017-04-18T16:16:06+00:00

I think it's very easy to have those regrets because you don't think about how much effort is involved.

I could be on my death bed and regret never really getting into super fit bruce lee shape, or keeping up with the violin, etc. and they're genuine things I could regret, but the actual effort to get there would have taken years of dedicated training, none of which I would have really enjoyed (or I'd have done it already) just so I could have one moment where I am happy to have done something.

MentORPHEUS · 2017-04-18T16:40:09+00:00

I think people facing death don't weep for the years they won't have in the future, they weep for the years they already had and underutilized.

askmrcia · 2017-04-18T16:50:29+00:00

In my opinion I think people keep trying to be "happy" instead of "content."

I don't need to be happy. Happy only last temporary just as some other emotions.

bolupua · 2017-04-18T17:43:59+00:00

I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.

A couple of months ago I gathered the courage and told my crush via text that, well, that she was my crush and that I was very much in love with her. It felt very good, like a big weight out of my back. She took it well, said that I was weird.

That was the last time she answered my texts.

ITworksGuys · 2017-04-18T19:45:56+00:00

Dude deleted it for some reason

THE TOP 5 REGRETS OF THE DYING

Bronnie Ware is a nurse who spent 7 years working at the bedside of the elderly and dying. During that time she had many deep conversations about life with her patients. Many of the people she talked to had the same regrets when looking back at their lives. Below is a list of the top five regrets that she heard.

For those visual learners checkout the animated video summary here:Watch This

I wish I had let myself be happier

When looking back at their lives many found that they were not as happy as they could have been. With age people tend to come to the realization that happiness ultimately is a choice. Happiness depends very much on your outlook of life more so than your outside circumstances. Outside circumstances can defiantly help! Getting a lambo will keep you happy for a while but there are more important metrics at play. Two people are often born into similar circumstances but can have varying levels of happiness. Happiness ultimately depends on your outlook on the events in your life.

I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends

In the final days of many people’s lives they often looked back at their lost friendships. Many regretted not having stayed in contact with friends from years back, and often wondered what these friends were up to. It’s easy to lose track of people in life, even those we swear we would never forget. We must remember to keep in touch with those friends that we connected with in the past to avoid this regret. So which friends of your friends is overdue a call?

I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.

The courage to express feelings honestly is one that is difficult for a lot of people. It’s difficult because it often puts you in a vulnerable position, however the regret is often far worse in the end. • The regret of not telling someone we love that we love them.

• The regret of not telling someone that how they treat us was unacceptable

• The regret of not coming to terms with our sexuality

• The regret of not coming to terms with our true personal beliefs

These are all examples of a lack of congruence with our feelings.

I wish I didn’t work so hard.

Working the 9-5 Monday-Friday for decades is bound to leave you jaded. Sometimes we take on extra hours at work just so that we can make more money, or obtain a more strategic position for promotion. We save money for the dream of retirement. For many of us it’s constantly Hustle Hustle Hustle Hustle. The consequence is often one of regret at not enjoying life, not doing all the things we might have dreamed of. This regret is rather poignant because we can look back at all the hard work and think “what for?” Where are the memories of traveling the world? Learning new things? And having new experiences? They don’t exist.

I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

The most heard regret was the regret of living a life based of other people’s expectations. The regret of living a life that fit the ‘socially conditioned narrative’. Many outside influences tell us what we should do, and what is appropriate. These influences can suffocate us until we give in and follow what the herd is doing. Many of us

• Go to college because we are told to

• Get married before we are ready because our parents and friends will look down on us

• Buy things we don’t necessary need

• Get the Jobs we are not overly enthusiastic about

All these things are done in order to fulfil the script. When we are on our death beds we start to have thoughts about ‘what we could have done’, and how life ‘could have been’, if we just had the courage to live life on our terms.

luckyguy19 · 2017-04-18T15:05:00+00:00

I wish I didn't ride my motorcycle so much, said no one ever.

yomo86 · 2017-04-18T15:51:38+00:00

I am long over the anger phase but I can't help that these statements come from men - maybe even women - who lived their lives on other peoples terms or worse for other people.

Even the resentment not to work so hard. I mean, after I opened shop and put a shingle on the door, yes I worked hard, but I will never trade the experience of starting a business with all the ups and downs, a business I love to be more specific, for anything else.

VickVaseline · 2017-04-18T16:29:57+00:00

...and all this time, I thought 'Bronnie Ware' was software for guys who like My Little Pony?

yummyluckycharms · 2017-04-18T16:55:24+00:00

Guys - asking a baby boomer of what they regret in life has very little to do with what you will regret in life. The period of time in which they matured, aged, had kids, and grew old and died is very different to the period of time you will experience

Take points 2 and 4 for example. Friendships, and relationships in general, were much more deeper and meaningful in the past. Nowadays, the global world means that people drift apart quite easily and people are more acquaintances than friends.

Also, when it comes to work - most people aren't doing 8 hours a day, but instead 9 or 10 hour days are the norm. Baby boomers had an idyllic life while people today need to work hard just to break even, and even harder to get ahead. Personally, I like being ahead of most people. If I die tomorrow, working as hard as I could will never be a regret of mine.

[deleted] · 2017-04-18T13:52:37+00:00

I it were only so easy to be happy! I get grump and mean way to much, the only thing that has kept me somewhat happy has been Jesus and my family. I think less work would increase my happiness.

MBTayyy · 2017-04-18T14:38:45+00:00

The "work" part is a little misleading. The point is doing what you (really) want to do, not what you think you have to do. Do you think The Rock is going to regret working 120 hrs/week? He fucking loves it.

I started my own business, worked hard, and now I'm 6-12 months away from getting to the point where I can just do the fun stuff that I want to do, work 10-20 hrs/week, and make $600k+/year for the rest of my life.

I'm going to dive into comedy writing, start a homeless rehabilitation center, and coach my kid's little league teams.

Start a side-hustle kids.

mikew_reddit · 2017-04-18T16:21:22+00:00

The main thing (for me at least) is:

Take care of your family and friends since close relationships are the most important thing. Treat them as such.

Everything else follows from this.

That suggests not sacrificing family and friends for money or fame. Don't work so much you never see them, or screw your friends over for a few bucks.

It's easier to be yourself and express yourself, and therefore be happier when you're surrounded by quality people. They will accept all your quirks.

When I'm elderly and look back, I won't care about money (eg how big my house is, what car I drove) or even accomplishments. I want to remember fondly all the good, bad and ugly times I had with the people I love. Only my relationships will really matter (because when you're dying only people, not things, can care about you).

Original_Dankster · 2017-04-18T16:22:42+00:00

4 - Gonna be my amigos from my old hometown this evening. No email or text or FB bullshit. A phone call.

Thanks for this kick in the ass.

EGOtyst · 2017-04-18T18:05:11+00:00

Anyone have the original list?

MBTayyy · 2017-04-18T16:08:04+00:00

I work the standard 40 hour work week. Can't say I love it, but make enough money to save up for retirement and go on trips every three months or so.

Don't really know what else I would do for an equal amount of money.

I have friends (late twenties) that are ALWAYS traveling and taking odd jobs here and there for menial amounts of money for gas/food, and are the happiest people I know.

But I can't help but think they'll be fucked when they get older. As far as money goes. But who know's because the future isn't certain and in the present they're a lot happier than I am.

DigitallyDisrupt · 2017-04-18T15:55:30+00:00

These are bullshit emotional ideas from a woman. Don't listen to women. Don't listen to this advice.

5, happiness is a social construct. The world is shit, if you have a shitty happy grin on your face, you're not in touch with reality.

4, fuck friends, not much better than having women around. If you are worth something, then everyone is just a time suck, keeping you from your goals.

3, feelings? What the actual fuck

2, hard work makes the strong man, you are listening to weak people on their deathbed for advice? Are you headed to your deathbed?

1, courage? More female tripe.

DO NOT listen to women for life advice.

[deleted] · 2017-04-18T17:35:47+00:00

These couldn't be more vague if they tried.

Comments

4 - Gonna be my amigos from my old hometown this evening. No email or text or FB bullshit. A phone call.