As a man (and for women too) your physical attractiveness matters more now than ever before in human history. And in the future, as men and women need each other less and less, it will matter even more than today. Let that sink in. This is a huge part of internalizing TRP.

I'm reading a book called "Unbound: How Eight Technologies Made Us Human, Transformed Society, And Brought Our World To The Brink" and it bring up very good points that need to be understood here at TRP.

Lately I've been seeing a lot of posts with the general theme of men complaining that no matter what they are doing women do not seem interested in them. We like to rationalize that if we exude "alpha" personality traits we will be attractive to women, and if we have a good job we will be attractive to women, etc. These do matter, but what a lot of men don't want to accept is that YOUR LOOKS MATTER probably more than anything else in modern society and will only get more important as time goes on and men and women "need" each other less and less.

Let me explain some of the ideas from the book:

Traditional marriage evolved in agricultural societies as a way to create lifelong partnerships, establish mutually beneficial economic relationships between families, and maximize the stability of land ownership in agricultural society. These goals were achieved by a set of customs that made both men and women socially, economically, and psychologically dependent on each other. And it was these customs--not lasting affection of mutual attraction-- that ensured the permanence of marriage.

Modern people rarely marry to enhance the economic relationship between their families (as they did in the past). As a result of profound changes to the expectations of married life, the novel idea of "marrying for love" has become the primary reason for the people of modern society to marry. Rather than regarding marriage as the means to an economic end, young people in the developed world have instead come to regard marriage as a pathway to companionship and sexual satisfaction. And modern people have increasingly chosen their marriage partners on the basis of physical attraction and emotional compatibility.

Even kids, which at certain points in human history were considered assets are now liabilities. children are no longer in a position to contribute meaningfully to the family fortunes. And as financial support in old age has gradually become an obligation of government throughout the industrialized world (social security, pensions, insurance), children have lost their importance even as a source of security for parents in their old age. Additionally, Women no longer need men for financial support/income. Men no longer need women to tend to the house (hello washing machines, dish washers, driers, microwaves, frozen food, take-out, vacuum cleaners, air conditioning, heaters, refrigerators etc.). We need each other less and less.

The potent combination of the new ideals for marrying for love, the new standards of social and sexual freedom for unmarried couples, and the development of truly reliable contraceptives triggered a transformation in sexual values in modern society, as the ancient human sexual instincts, themselves the product of millions of years of evolution, have reasserted themselves. Except they have reasserted themselves even "purer" than before because we no longer need each other for security/provisioning/for anything really.

What does this mean? the ancient female sexual instincts are basically based on two things: physical attractiveness and provisional ability (apha fucks beta bucks). In modern society, women no longer need men for provisioning (and often don't even want it) and men don't need women for home-making and children/marriage have never been less important. This leaves physical attractiveness as the main driver behind female attraction towards males in modern society.

In the hunting and gathering societies that were universal in human life for the majority of history and up until ten thousand years ago, men and women formed relationships with each other quite casually, and for the most part when those relationships no longer gave them satisfaction, they ended them just as casually. This is where we are now, we've come full circle, except again we no longer rely on each other for almost anything, so the most important driver for attraction is how good looking a man or woman is. Ancient human sexual instincts are now the driving force behind sex and marriage again except without the restraints (the need for provisioning and mutual benefits) it had in the past. In other words; unbridled hypergamy based on physical attraction.

What does this all mean? You MUST do everything in your power to increase your physical attractiveness (which you should already be doing) if you want success with women, especially good looking women. Lift weights, keep low bodyfat, take care of your skin, keep a good haircut, dress well subreddit:malefashionadvice, get a nose job if you have to, etc. Unlike recent generations and unlike what you've probably been raised to think, your looks as a man are now the most important aspect for attracting women whether you like it or not. Everything else comes in secondary.

EDIT: guys, I know physical appearance isn't absolutely everything and no where in my post did I say it was. For all you saying it's mostly about "how you make her feel" well I got news for you. The way you look plays the largest (but not the only) role in determining how she "feels" about you.