How to go from zero to Beta Bucks in 10 seconds flat?
Reveal your substantial net worth to your LTR.
Here's a recent posting from one of the financial subs. I won't say which one it was but the acronym FIRE stands for financial independence/retire early so it's not too hard to guess where it came from.
I am about to break up with my long term GF over money. We got engaged recently, and I shared details of my finances with her. (considering we would be getting married in the future I felt sharing my FIRE plans and progress was appropriate). Well when she realized my net worth, she now thinks of me as rich. Suddenly she wants a $15-35K wedding, and my attempt to put some "breaks" on it, led to a huge fight. Where "I put money above her happiness". In all other aspects, she was always frugal and I felt that we were compatible on that front.
OP's GF finds out how much he is worth and suddenly it is her money to start spending on a grand wedding. He tries to rein her in and she starts in with the anger and manipulation: "You're putting YOUR money above MY happiness."
Mistake #1: getting married and tying your finances to hers with the government as enforcer/mediator.
Mistake #2: revealing your net worth to the woman. Of course, if you're getting married, it is hard to avoid, which leads back to Mistake #1.
What did go right: he saw his GF reveal her true colors and decided to break up with her before it is too late. Now we're starting to see some backbone a la potato soup man.
OP made a few mistakes but is taking the logical step of breaking things off so all seems well so far. Unfortunately it's time for the feminine imperative to step in as we see in the top-voted comment:
Hold up. Before you go throwing everything away because of one disagreement, I would suggest that you think this through.
...snip...
Figure out why she wants an expensive wedding. What are the most important things about the wedding to her? Does she have a big family that's important to her that she wants to include? Does she want to feel pretty in her dress? If her reasons are understandable to you then think twice about calling it all off. If she wants an ice sculpture swan laced in gold flowing out champagne just... 'cause. Well, you might want to take that into consideration. If she puts an effort into putting a cap on costs, but won't budge on certain things because they are important to her, she is trying to come to a middle ground. That really counts. Seriously.
Marriage is one compromise after another. That's the whole "work" part of relationships that people keep talking about.
The advice here is maddening and depressing at the same time. The entire burden of compromise is placed on the man without acknowledging the huge behavioral red flags exhibited by the woman.
Throwing everything away because of one disagreement? Yes, if the disagreement is large enough.
Figure out why she wants an expensive wedding? He's already figured it out: it's because she saw that he could pay for it.
Middle ground? He already tried finding a middle ground and it lead to anger and manipulation from her.
Marriage is one compromise after another? Correct, and that's why you should be getting married to a person who has similar values and not a greedy and manipulative partner who wants to spend your fuck you money as quickly as possible.
OP is 100% correct in wanting to walk away from the relationship. If she's acting like this before marriage, imagine what she will be like once the knot is tied? It'll be his money vs. her happiness, and his money will disappear along with his dreams of financial independence and early retirement.
Sadly, most of the upvoted comments are similar to the advice given by the top commenter, and most of the downvoted comments agree with OP's and my position.
This is what is at stake for men these days: even gold diggers are given a second chance in the feminine imperative.
Edit: /u/RedPilledGodEmperor noticed that the guy posted an update and it looks like the wedding is on. It is heartbreaking but I can't say it wasn't expected given all the terrible advice he was receiving. At least the comments in his update submission are more reasonable:
tldr: she has convinced you to spend all that money
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