Better question, if she cheats, does it matter?

askmrcia · 2017-10-10T15:45:17+00:00

Yea the thing is, to have a mindset that she is capeable of cheating.

Doesn't mean she will 100% sure cheat.

I guess its like driving a car. If you're driving, there's a risk of you getting into an accident or getting a ticket. Are you worried about that everytime you get into a car?

If it happens, it happens and you deal with it from there.

zndas92 · 2017-10-10T16:45:29+00:00

It can be a good thing sometimes. I love being single but I also love my gf. If she cheated I get rid of her but same day I'd be out with my buddies having fun. It doesn't really matter negative emotions are usually just ego investment in a certain outcome. I've loved many women I've had many amazing gfs. There's so many more to be had. Nothing is permanent in life. Let go of the ego investment and just glide through life.

-HeartOfDark- · 2017-10-10T15:52:22+00:00

Does your health matter to you? If it does, then cheating should matter. If she does cheat and the guy happens to have an STD, it can affect you for the rest of your life. With that said, you can't have the mindset that she's cheating on you because it will drive you nuts. If you see signs that she's acting weird (hiding her phone from you, lying about things that don't make sense, hanging out with a new guy "friend" all the time, etc) then you need to keep an eye out. But in the end you need to trust her.

If you find out she has, leave without a second thought and find someone who's loyal.

tacko276 · 2017-10-10T19:52:59+00:00

If that tree falls in the woods you won't hear shit. How many guys get cheated on and never find out? Im not saying it happens every day but Im thinking it happens more than some of us would like to admit. Even if it's just some social media bull shit sexting sending pics what ev. or grinding and making out with some dude on a gno. Shit happens. The reality is if she wants to fuck with another guy she will and you'll never know about it. Ya if you have high smv and she's a decant girl, these incidents are probably few and far between. But shit does happen. She's gonna do what she's gonna do and so should we....

ThickDickWarrior89 · 2017-10-11T00:47:57+00:00

It matters but I think what you mean is- should I be on the lookout for it and the answer is no. Reason is bc it's not worth your time. I could elaborate but this statement sums it up regardless.

quicklogaccount · 2017-10-10T17:52:53+00:00

That is PRECISELY the point. It REALLY shouldn't matter if she cheats. Here are the reasons.

You will not stay in an unfulfilling relationship because your partner is faithful. Women can suck without cheating and relationships can suck without people in them sucking at all. You will leave, and therefore you will not resent having "tried to make it work" in vain with a cheater.
Cheating isn't personal. Maybe something made her too sensitive to Chad's t-shirt and he led her along. It's pretty easy to hack a committed chick's "defenses" and seduce her even if you're a piece of shit. It says nothing about you, it says a lot about her. It doesn't hurt you (unless STDs, but worrying about that is rationalizing insecurity), it hurts your relationship.
And you won't stay in a relationship that might make you regret later. The chick has to be worth it for the PRESENT, not for the future (and damn, these ARE rare). If she cheated, it's a shame but it was nice while things were ok. If you can let go of it and give her a shot, good, if you can not, good too, it doesn't really matter as long as you don't NEED to give her a shot because you're weak and need her.

In short, if a chick has given you proof that she is relationship material and you want a relationship, it doesn't matter whether she fucks up later because being with her has to be better than the alternative (and you HAVE to experience the alternative before committing, that's non negotiable), there will be nothing to regret there. She fucks up and you act accordingly.
Now, if you're anticipating her fucking up and worrying, the relationship is making the wrong thing hard, and for whatever reasons, hers or yours, you're not supposed to be in a relationship. And here's a catch, even if you're an insecure creep worrying that you'll destroy something great because you're weak, it's still the best choice. Men can't tackle these particular issues and worries from within a LTR and no LTR is worth living in angst.

NightwingTRP · 2017-10-10T18:29:25+00:00

and i don't ever actually find out, does it matter?

"If I'm a cuck and I don't actually know I'm a cuck, am I still a cuck?"

That's essentially your question and it kinda answers itself. It's a simple matter of self-respect. The Red Pill will never endorse a position like that.

Being able to cheat doesn't mean she will. But that's not really the point when you're running a successful LTR. There's a reason we do trust but verify on that and don't give a shit when it's a plate. (Though personally I've always had my plates give commitment to me without getting it in return. It's just a power play, running the dynamics how I like them.) Run your dynamics however you like mate, but the idea that she gets to run her sexual strategy without any compromise is totally unacceptable for the successful dynamic we preach on here.

mrpoopistan · 2017-10-10T16:51:42+00:00

In any relationship that's enough of a relationship to count something as cheating? Yeah, it matters.

If someone wants an open relationship or a casual arrangement, that's different. That's also defined at the outset.

Nucka574 · 2017-10-10T18:34:23+00:00

If a tree falls in the middle of the forest does it make noise?

notmyusualreddit · 2017-10-10T22:33:23+00:00

These kinds of if statements always seem weird to me because they don't seem based in reality. A woman that cheats on you most likely won't (I'd argue CANT) remain as you put it "incredibly supportive, gorgeous, incredible in bed, and caters to me constantly".

If she knows she has cheated on you, it will soon start showing in many unpleasant ways.

EDIT: Warning: Reddit admins deleted me after 2 years of posting, even with current gold on my account, just because I posted a link to a youtube account that was easily available if you took a name news organizations were giving out and typed it into google yourself. The bias against Trump and the_donald is real.

BUT, the reddit morons forgot to lock out EDITING your previous posts as part of the permanent ban.

dontbedenied · 2017-10-10T18:37:42+00:00

Great question. It's like the "if a tree falls in a forest, does it make a sound?" question.

I think this is the mindset (conscious or unconscious) that most women employ. "If my man is providing resources for me, is handsome enough, and isn't a jealous, beta bitch, I can deal with him cheating, as long as he is discrete and I don't find out about it."

I think it's a bit different from men. Being a cuck is a pretty high level of societal shame, and one that I would like to avoid at all costs. Yeah, the majority of women are capable of cheating, but I'd like to minimize that likelihood as much as possible. If she's cheating on you, there's a good chance you picked a shitty partner for an LTR and/or you are failing at keeping your SMV high.

RPStone · 2017-10-10T18:54:42+00:00

All women are capable of infidelity given the right circumstances. As a man you should never be surprised or upset when it happens. This is why you never over invest emotionally or financially into her. She is always just your turn.

Pplegault · 2017-10-10T19:28:27+00:00

IDGAF attitude is the best. You should be spinning plates yourself so the STD angle is a red-herring.

imn0tg00d · 2017-10-10T21:45:45+00:00

I'm in that same mindset with my girl. Who cares what she does? I got banned from TRP for saying this same thought. A guy was going through his plate's phone because he was weak. I called him beta for caring. He didn't have abundance mentality because he was being insecure and checking up on her.

I have plenty of women that want me constantly. I don't have to worry about what my girl is doing because she knows that a bunch of girls would line up to get with me if she messed up. I don't have to check up on her because I'm confident and don't care.

The fact that I was banned from TRP for holding this mindset tells me that at least some of the mods are not red pilled. Trust the sidebar, not the sub.

ex_addict_bro · 2017-10-10T22:10:42+00:00

If I disrespect you - and it becomes obvious to you - does it matter for you?

If I disrespect you by lying straight to your face and you never know that I lied - does it matter for you?

topapito · 2017-10-11T02:08:32+00:00

I have always treated all women as plates. My LTR's have been nothing but plates that everyone knows I am in a relationship with. If they live with me, they are live in plates. If I find out they cheat on me, I immediately live somewhere else.

/u/Nightwing is correct when he says that it is a matter of respect. It is not the actual cheating that bothers me, it is the act of disrespect that cannot be overlooked. This is the reason why it is irrelevant whether she let a guy fuck her or swapped spit with one of her friends somewhere. The actual act doesn't matter, what matters is how she made you look when and while she was doing this. Even if nobody saw her, her respect for you during whatever act must have dwindled to the point of nothingness or she could not have brought herself to that circumstance. She would have avoided it, because she would be thinking of her respect for you.

Once that line has been passed, and she has ignored her respect for you, it's time to go. She will never gain that respect to its full measure. She has already seen that there were no consequences for disrespecting you. The only consequence for a lack of respect is losing you. There can be no other.

To OP, you say: (plus seems to love my daughter)

Nothing baffled me more on this than the fact that she knows your daughter. If she knows your daughter, then stop trying to act like she's a plate. She is not a plate, you have allowed her into your home. Plates don't know your inner circle, they spin independently of it.

You are in love with this woman, and you are trying to hamster her infidelities. If you like fucking her, plate her. No need to hard next, plates aren't supposed to be able to affect your SMV. They are there for your enjoyment. But in this case, you my friend, are already in love. Stop trying to hamster/rationalize her disrespect. If you have to think about her being unfaithful, then it's too late.

Art_is_it · 2017-10-11T08:15:43+00:00

Let me just get one thing straight. Is everyone here faithfull? Or guys can cheat? Legit question.

Cause from what I've read here, man don't cheat but woman do even though all my male friends cheated, and like 10% of my female friends did (and without sex as far as I know)

When I'm with a girl the problem is always me. I'm always unhappy in a monogamous relationship. That's why I tried to open for me but not for her. She accepted at first than she couldn't handle, now we're in an "open limbo" which she faces as a close relationship till we decide and I face as an open relationship until we decide...

Etlloidgroer · 2017-10-11T18:06:22+00:00

If she cheats dump her ass immediately and never look back. Until then, don't even worry about it.

JvSOUL · 2017-10-23T04:59:35+00:00

As long as your fucking/messing with other girls, it's cool. At anytime she should NOT be your only option. If she is, and she's CAPABLE of cheating, Your a CUCK. Get ready to be cuckolded.

LordThunderbolt · 2017-10-11T01:46:58+00:00

Wrong sub r/cuckold

Title	Better question, if she cheats, does it matter?
Author	RedPillN00B
Upvotes	41
Comments	86
Date	October 10, 2017 3:35 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/75htxl/better_question_if_she_cheats_does_it_matter/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/better-question-if-she-cheats-does-it-matter.513 https://theredarchive.com/post/513

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