So I'm only 20 and although my parents are still married and living under the same roof, sometimes I feel like I've been raised by a single parent. My dad has always been a bit distant, but it has grown worse as the years have passed. And I blame my mom for some of that. My mom has taken it upon herself to be the head of the household. She claims it's because he won't step up to lead himself, but she often yells at my dad for not doing things, makes fun of him, talks badly about him to my sister and I behind his back, etc. She is everything I desire NOT to be. However, my mom is the only one that disciplined us, made sure we had everything we needed/wanted, and feels like a parent to me. I've tried to tell my mom not to act like that with my dad and I gave her some red pill advice, but she hasn't taken it or applied it at all. I've brought up my lack of connection with my dad to him before, but he just still won't make an effort. And because of this, I have always been looking for a "father figure" in other older men. I get along so well with my male professors that I will often go in to their office hours and talk about class, life, or whatever. I place them in that role and then get sad when the semester is over. It just hurts that I can get along so well with my older male professors and that they love talking to me, but my own dad doesn't even want to get to know me. I know I should be grateful that I even have my dad because some people don't have their dads present in their lives, but my dad lives with me and it feels like he doesn't want to be in my life most of the time. He doesn't know me at all. He's a passive father and husband. He'd rather stay at home watching tv or being on his phone/computer than to go to my choir concerts. He's so plugged in to technology that he doesn't like leaving the house other than to go to work. He won't go to the movies with me, even if I know it's a movie he would want to see. The funny thing is that his favorite Christmas movie is "Jingle All The Way," which we watch every single year and if you haven't seen it, it's a movie about a man who does a bad job at being a father but then turns it around and becomes a family man by the end of the movie. It's like he dreams about being better, but he doesn't do anything about it. I don't know what to do, how to deal with this, and how to heal from this. I'm open to hearing your thoughts, support, and advice. Thank you for taking the time to read all of this