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What went wrong?

Reddit View
June 12, 2020
66 upvotes

I was in a bar with the boys having fun yesterday. Some girls come in, sit at a table behind us. One of them goes to the bathroom, leaving her friend alone, so she comes to our table and joins us. Turns out she knew me from the school we're both going to, but I didn't know her. We all chatted for a bit, I applied some kino, then more of her friends (men too) came to the bar, so she joined them.

After a few minutes I went to grab myself a drink, then came to their table and asked "May I borrow your friend?", they were cool with it, so we grabbed our drinks and I led her by hand outside to have some more privacy. We talked some more, I got her number and then told her to come for a walk with me to the park nearby, with the intentions to apply more kino and make out with her. She said she needs to go use the bathroom, so I wait for a bit, then see her with her girlfriend, so I just said "Let's go". Her friend starts cockblocking me saying she needs her there blah blah blah... - you know the drill. We then agree on going for the walk when they leave or whatever. Me and my friends decided to leave, I see her sitting at the bar with her cockblocking friend, but still decided to give it a try and getting her to come with me. It obviously didn't work out, so I just told her I'll call her in a few days and went home to feed my drunk ass.

Did she not come with me because she didn't want to leave her friends, or perhaps her cockblocking girlfriend told her not to go?

Is it possible she just activated her ASD?

How long should I ideally wait before calling her to set up a date?


Post Information
Title What went wrong?
Author michael_in_chains
Upvotes 66
Comments 80
Date 12 June 2020 12:32 PM UTC (8 months ago)
Subreddit askTRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/672850
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/h7jugm/what_went_wrong/
Similar Posts

Red Pill terms found in post:
anti-slut defensekino
Comments

[–]Wants permission to daternsbrum150 points151 points  (9 children) | Copy

Dude, girls will always forgive you for being too aggressive, but will never respect you for being too soft.

[–]michael_in_chains[S] 34 points35 points  (4 children) | Copy

Word.

[–]electricspresident13 points14 points  (3 children) | Copy

"May I borrow your friend?"

What are you a fucking beggar in 18th century !?

What you did wrong was charm the friend.

If the 1st bitch made the effort to come over to chit chat she was checking if you were good for a fuck or nah

If you did amazing game then she would actively fight her friend to hang out with you.

No seriously girls get crazy on that friend of theirs that cockblocks them from a high smv guy

If you did basic game and this is most likely what happened. then your smv was not high enough to equalize it and get the girl interested enough to give you something like her number or a date to later hang out

Always remember Rollo's iron rules when in doubt, bitches will crawl under Barbed wires to suck your dick if you did your game right

So work on your conversations, balance between push and pull is really the simple key. Find your natural game

[–]wtfdoiaskfor113 points14 points  (2 children) | Copy

Ha, a whole rant based on a couple words.

There are many ways of saying things. Depending on how OP said it, it could be pathetic, or not.

This is such a sperg analysis lol

[–]AgreeableHelicopter20 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Exactly,Ike no matter how you ask it it still does the same thing.

-give me your number

Vs.

-hey let's exchange numbers

Same shit, either way you get a number for the most part.

[–]electricspresident-2 points-1 points  (0 children) | Copy

Huh

[–]NikolaFingarov4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

This is very important

[–]2319Skew0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Well put

[–]ZeppKfw0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Just realized this. Whenever I got too aggressive with my moves/escalation the girls were always fine with it. They just laughed it out. Never really disrespected me. Good one.

[–]SICFJC0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah well said. You can come back from a rejected kiss, but you’ll never come back for not trying .

[–]NabroleonBonaparte143 points144 points  (15 children) | Copy

1) You moved too fast. She probably didn’t feel safe going off to the park with you on the spot. You probably could’ve got more social cred by joining her group, DHVing and winning over the guys and the cockblocker. That way they would trust you and later say nice things about you the next day (because girls always gossip about potential dick and having friends say good things means that her SMV won’t drop by hanging with beta dick).

2) ASD: if she disappeared with you, her friends would’ve known she’s a slut and she can’t dirty her reputation. Girls also come in pairs, that’s why you usually get a wingman to hook up/distract the cockblocker.

You didn’t fuck up, but you didn’t run the BEST game you could’ve. Overall follow up with her and set a date.

[–]jackandjill2240 points41 points  (2 children) | Copy

Agree with this 110%. He pushed too hard, too quickly he should've cut his losses after he got the number & just enjoyed the evening. After he kept pushing he became transparent.

[–]_nein_danke7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yep - this. I’ve been reading up on game a fuck tonne lately and they basically say a number close is good enough. Same day fucks are unlikely/difficult. Also why would you just wanna go make out? Are you 15?

Also comfort is a huge part of game, and it seems like there wasn’t enough comfort here, she’s not gonna go walk to a park unless you’ve proved beyond doubt that you’re not a murderer, or a weirdo. Also seems like you should have just been about having some fun too, not thinking so much about the outcome.

[–]kdsflyfree11 points12 points  (0 children) | Copy

This. She needs to chase him. He was chasing her after getting her number.

[–]superomar138 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah agreed. ASD came in. If you also considered her friends best interest, you would've done really well.

[–]ColdBeing6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah I agree. Moved too fast. Should've waited until after the night to set a 1 on 1 date

[–]GuerreroNeeK3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

ya goin to the park seemed sketch

[–]VigilantSmartbomb1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Oh wow I would've chalked this one up. Good shit tho and nicely explained.

I took the her going to her friends table and not telling him that the plans were cancelled was a sign of her disqualifying him by not seeing him as worth it enough to even tell him.

I normally don't get stopped by ASD so maybe it's because I'm not used to it. Thanks for clarifying

[–]4thdementia1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Fucking surgical analysis. Excellent.

[–]michael_in_chains[S] 1 point2 points  (6 children) | Copy

Thanks for the clarification. In how many days should I call her to set up a date considering we met yesterday?

[–]TuhTodayJr9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy

Whenever you know you’re free

[–]NabroleonBonaparte2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

There’s no specific “number of days” (but don’t text her today or tomorrow). You text her when your going to be free.

What’s more important is reading her behavior, if she really likes you, you can text whenever. Since you’re not sure, play it safe and wait about 2 days.

Your only goal should be DHVing, and self-improving. Girls chase value, they don’t need game or convincing. As long as you have high value, she’ll do whatever you want.

But lastly, girls are fickle. She might not actually be interested but instead wanted a quick hit of attention because she’s running low on supply due to quarantine.

Just watch her behavior!

[–]strongerthandeath971 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

What do you mean by high value

[–]NabroleonBonaparte10 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy

High value are things that make you better in society. Things like:

  • Good social skills (this comes from practice and being educated about the world).

  • A solid group of friends that are also successful/high value.

  • Fun hobbies (zip lining, mountain climbing, etc).

  • Being healthy and fit (having big muscles, clear moisturized skin, having ~12-15% bodyfat, etc).

  • Fashion (having nice clothes that fit properly and express what you believe in. Are you a suit guy who likes luxury? Or are you a party guy with tattoos and street wear style?).

  • Being a master in your domain (Maybe you’re a doctor with years of experience and have a reputation in your community, maybe your a programmer who invented an app that helped a bunch of people, when people hear your name they give you respect).

This all takes time to build and it’s why people say don’t waste too much time chasing girls. Once you have all of these things locked down, the girls will chase YOU instead of you chasing them.

But you have to put in the work first and it’ll make sense on the other side. I haven’t made it yet, but I’m close enough to see it.

[–]Jacked2TheTits1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

ping her today... sooner is better... send a meme or callback humor

if she responds positively, go for logistics over the next 2-3 days (don't be thirsty)

if it is neutral then build some conversation first. not a whole lot, just enough to get her comfortable and flirty again

[–]GuerreroNeeK0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

2

[–]AloofusMaximus14 points15 points  (0 children) | Copy

"I have to go to the bathroom" .or "I have to get back to my friends" are usually her way of ejecting.

There could be a millions reasons as to "why", don't sweat it too hard. Women tend to DISqualify, that's why she should be doing most of the talking. All it takes is you saying 1 thing she doesn't like, to blow it.

Try to get in touch later or tomorrow, though I wouldn't be surprised if nothing comes of it.

[–]darktriadghost13 points14 points  (0 children) | Copy

She didn't want to go for the walk and told her friend to cockblock you. You probably came off a little strong. Always give the girl the freedom to come to you.

[–]KidBrody7727 points28 points  (8 children) | Copy

The reason she said she needed to go to the bathroom after you told her to come to the park with you is not because she actually had to use the bathroom, it's because you were creeping her out and she wanted to get the fuck out of there.

Dude that was such a creeper move. You really think a girl is going to go a random park, alone, at night, with a total stranger she knows wants to get in her pants? LOL...smh. Even if she's totally into you, she doesn't know you. Have you ever seen a crime show? Women are taken into parks by men at night and raped and murdered and sexually assaulted all the time.

Not to mention it screams desperation. Think about what you're telling her with a move like that. You're telling her "Even though I just met you 10 minutes ago and don't know you at all, I want your pussy so bad I'm willing to leave my friends and the good time I'm having to walk over to some random park to get it".

That's creeperville man. That's why she went ice cold on you. Generally speaking once you creep a chick out like that you're not going to get a second chance. I'd just shoot her a text saying "Hey, glad I got to meet you the other night. Give me a call sometime if you would like to hang out again." and let her make the next move. If she doesn't, move on.

[–]japjap6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

^

[–]skrtskerskrt1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Guess he came on too strong and yeah park should only be for daygame. Grabbing a bite to eat would've been a better and safer logistical move.

[–]KidBrody770 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Live and learn. Easy for us to sit here and analyze it after the fact. But when you’re in the moment it’s a lot harder.

[–]AgreeableHelicopter2-1 points0 points  (4 children) | Copy

He wasn't creeping her out.

There's NO WAY you set a man to woman frame from the start and she's fine with it at first but also gets creeped out by it. That's contradicting.

[–]KidBrody771 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

Frame is not permanent. Men can and do things that draw women in and out of their frame all the time. He could have had her in his frame early on and then lost her. Happens all the time.

Ask all the women you know if a guy you just met wants to take you to a strange park alone at night and 90% will say hell no. Whatever word you want to use it’s a bad move....clearly as evidenced by his results

[–]AgreeableHelicopter20 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Frame is permanent.

Why do you think it's impossible to escape the friend zone and transition to man to woman.

[–]KidBrody770 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

You clearly have zero understanding of frame. None. Zip. Zilch.

The reason it is impossible to escape the friend zone is because “sexual attraction cannot be negotiated” (Rationale Male) and because virtually all plutonic friendships are the result of the man’s decision to form “covert contracts” with her (No More Mr. Nice Guy). The friend zone has nothing to do with Frame. You clearly have not read any of the side bar.

Why do you think Rollo Tomossi and other RP authors constantly talk about HOLDING frame? Ideally, yes, you should work towards the goal of being able to hold your frame permanently but it’s not easy, especially for newbies, and hardly automatic.

Half the shit tests women give are ones testing your frame. You might pass the first 4 but fail the 5th and guess what? You just lost frame. You failed to hold your frame.

Think of frame as Teacher and Student or Coach and Player. In the beginning of the relationship the player is automatically in the coach’s frame. Let’s say the player is the star player on the team and doesn’t want to do something the coach says. He might decide to test the coach, believing because he’s so good there’s no way Coach will pull him out of the game. If he doesn’t listen to the Coach, and the Coach leaves him in, boom the coach just lost his frame. Now the player has all the power and the player knows it and now the Coach is operating in the players frame instead of Vice versa. Frame is not permanent. You can lose it. And once you do it’s very difficult to get back.

[–]AgreeableHelicopter20 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I understand what you mean.

From my point of view there's no such this as holding frame. I see it as setting the frame and constantly reinforcing it. But at the end of the day that frame can't be lost, just diminished so to speak.

[–]gaurav_himself8 points9 points  (5 children) | Copy

Here's what might have happened (acc. To your info and my interpretation) Everything was good until you asked or went to park you clearly you have pushed/overly invested or gave alot of power, thats when she said "i want to use bathroom".

By knowing where you been an idiot, you can either text/call her and correct in her eyes (less affective)

Or you can meet her in person and have a better chance.

Or know find out what happed wrong and just move on!

[–]michael_in_chains[S] 3 points4 points  (4 children) | Copy

So am I better off just taking their numbers and just keeping it casual next time?

Also, in how long do you suggest me hitting her up to set a date? We met yesterday.

[–]gaurav_himself2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy

Ya just behave like a fun attractive carefree mysterious high value guy, honestly PUAs can answer that better.

Go for it today, think like she's just another girl but try to find what happend wring in first place. You can always find hot hoes easily bro don't think too much.

[–]michael_in_chains[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Alright, thank you.

[–]alikebabay0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

I had to write somewhere, so here is my take. I tried to setup a home date at my place (girl 1, handjob on the bench, last week) but did not receive confirmation from her. Also I stupidly made two phone calls, and of course she did not answer. Now I have unconfirmed date for tomorrow at 8 pm, confirmed at 7 pm (girl 2, number close, some kino) and confirmed at 9 pm (girl 3, number close). I will push 7 pm for kiss and home close, if she rejects, I will end the date by 8.30 to meet girl 3. I am leading girl 2 towards my house anyway (bouncing bar 1, may be bar 2).

Still not sure about girl 1, you can see I am heavily inveeted in her, so the whole reason for this is to enable me to go no contact with her until at least 8 pm. I am not sure I can salvage this, please kill this thought in my brain.

[–]alikebabay0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Girl 3 is the backup, in case 1 and 2 flake entirely

[–]YouMotherFuclcer11 points12 points  (2 children) | Copy

Next time a woman excuses herself that way don’t drop a beat and proceed to flirt with any other female in the room to rile her up with jealousy so she’ll practically drag you on that walk. You gotta get them in a way they don’t feel any pressure otherwise they dip. Most modern day women are idiots and think all men want to rape and/or murder them if left alone with them for more than a minute so always make them want to go with you/ask you instead of the other way around. Gotta play 4D chess when trying to spin dumb hos

[–]OpenComparison0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

this was a good answer

[–]skrtskerskrt0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

MeToo really changed the game for good and bad.

[–]PlusTenStrength4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Girls typically stick together in this type of situation. Probably a combination of not wanting to leave her friend and friend not wanting to be left alone in a bar. But judging by the fact that she followed you outside and sat with you, I think you have good chances for a date. Maybe wait a week or something.

[–]middobbo9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy

Could be many things. In addition to what you've identified a strong contender is you were over invested and not outcome independent

[–]VisiblePlan3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

You had the right idea, but I reccomend winning the group over first, and then taking the one you want alone

[–]michael_in_chains[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Good point.

[–]filoraz2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

U go to bars during covid??

[–]lolomotif122 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy

Too aggressive man, the girl just met you and you're trying to drag her ass into a park. Her friend that was probably less drunk persuaded her it's not a good idea and not safe. Women always look out for eachothers safety when out together unless they're sluts.

[–]michael_in_chains[S] 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

I get that, but I'm 16 and she's 18, and knew me from the school we're both going to. Not like I'm a 40 year old creep tryna fuck a teen behind the bushes.

[–]lolomotif121 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Then state it in your post because that's what it sounds like lol

[–]skrtskerskrt1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Figured this had to be a European country since y'all have clubs open already.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

You are probably a person who wants to blitzkrieg everything. You see a goal and you rush towards it, not because you are desperate, it's just your nature. I can't tell how many times I've been rejected because of my directness and roughness almost. Yeah, I was confident, but it is easy to scare girls, PARTICULARLY in front of others(ASD). I know it because when I sometimes meet those girls they still send IOIs. Be more patient and casual, these are still hard for me though.

[–]michael_in_chains[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

That's right. I was just too confident and forward now that I look back at it.

[–]superomar131 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Simple, it's because of her cockblocking friend and her friends. You had the right intentions trying to isolate her to the park, but you left her friends and her cockblocking girlfriend out of the equation. Shows a lack of understanding on your part. The best way to pull a girl is to make sure ALL parties involved get what they want, including her friends if they are there.

The PERFECT PLAY would've been while you had her isolated you ask her out somewhere for later in the night or another day, and then grab her number. Then you both head back in saying something like, our friends are waiting for us. Then meet up with her later in the night or another day.

[–]IXseed1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Looks like you tried to pull too fast or she didn't wanna outright leave with you. Personally I don't believe in "ASD" as it just means that her mind wasn't 100% sold on fucking you for whatever reason it may be. And I don't wanna fuck a girl that ain't 100% on fucking me, you dig?

Next time if a girl ejects, Just hang back. If she decides she wants to go, she'll come around. if not, you go the number. For the days, ppl are gonna give you diff answers. I try to call the next day because I'm trying to see if this chick is trying to fuck or not NOW as that waiting isn't gonna raise her interest. Strike while the iron is hot.

[–]strongerthandeath971 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Nothing went wrong.Where have you got the idea that she is attracted to you in the first place?

[–]r4moy1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Personally, I wouldn’t have waited for her when she used the restroom

[–]Elprez911 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

Fair play for being forward it didn't work this time but I may happen the next time.

[–]michael_in_chains[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Is backing off a bit more successful in your opinion?

[–]Elprez911 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Mate you never know what's going on with the waaman lol they could have just found love, nan died loads of different circumstances could attribute to no interest. Just keep doing your game which is confident, straight up and you will get success.

[–]1Red_Pill_Brotherhood1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

If the girl wants you enough, she will go. Interest wasn't high enough. You pushed too hard after she wasn't willing. After she escaped to the bathroom you should have disappeared instead of waiting like a puppy, then maybe gone back once more later on.

Most likely she won't reply or go out but try hitting her up.

[–]michael_in_chains[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

In how long should I hit her up?

[–]1Red_Pill_Brotherhood0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Within a couple days. After 1-3 back and forths, say "lets get a drink. I can do tues or thurs."

[–]lunaluis1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Sometimes it’s best to retreat the battle to fight the war another day lmao

AKA catch her on her own. Set it up to see her in the future in those few moments you have in case the logistics don’t work out. Girls act real different around their friends.

[–]Seventh_Rose1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I'm assuming it was because you only told her you were going to a park.

You didn't tell her why. She doesn't know you, she needs a reason. I think men underestimate how often women shit themselves when they are asked to go somewhere alone with another guy that is unfamiliar to them.

Say something like this instead, "Let's go to the park, I want to show you something crazy/fun/interesting/insane there."

This is a half lie. Its intent is to make her comfortable and heighten her interest so that it prevails over her fear.

If she asks about it, find something interesting in the environment that you can pretend you came there for. Or, you can play it off casually as a joke, "—that you could have a much more exciting time with me." You can push/hit her arm or shake her shoulder playfully as you say it to relax her even more.

If you have a legitimate reason that she'll be curious about, use that instead. For instance, if you have cats/dogs as pets, when bringing a girl home tell her she can play with your dog and that she'll think your dog is adorable.

Women fear two things:

  1. Being alone with an unfamiliar guy
  2. Awkwardness

Eliminate both by giving an interesting reason to go, and therefore something to do, even if it's "fake". Once a woman finds herself in the actual situation, her fear will dissolve anyways, given you aren't acting suspicious or strange.

[–]ShortDamage1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

You did fine, i just think your expectations were a bit too high. You initiated contact, applied kino, and got her number. That's good. Should have just enjoyed the rest of the evening and let her see you surrounded by friends, having fun. Pushing for her to walk with you is the only thing you shouldn't have done, as it could make you seem needy. Text her and ask her out. Doesn't really matter when, the whole "you should wait several days" thing is incredibly overrated in my opinion. If you want to text her, text her. It may be that she wasn't that interested, but didn't want to reject you either, women are like that sometimes. If that happens, then move on to the next.

[–]michael_in_chains[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah, I already realised what I shouldn't have done and where I should cut it. Doesn't really bother me though, I'm sure I'll still get her to sign her soul to me.

[–]drv120210 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

She didn't want you, my dude. Stop trying to over analyze and rationalize the truth.

[–]coldestmichigan0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Girls like that are like deers in the wild, skittish and overtly wary. You coulda took it abit slower to win her trust before you went primal aggro on the suggestions.

[–]idevastate0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

"Let's go for a walk in the park in the middle of the night and we just met and your friends are here" is way too fast, she doesn't know you well enough. ASD coupled with "is this guy going to assault me alone in a park" and on the friends' end "who dis". Next time become cool af with her friends, let them get to know you and approve of you and feel cool with letting their friend go with you.

[–]gleeeshy0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

clearly she thought u were trying to murder her HAHAHA. This is one of the wildest escalations i have ever seen. Straight from getting her drunk to "alright now lets go to a dark ass secluded park." bro honestly i dont even know if I would go to a secluded park at night with a 10/10 girl because id be scared of her having some dude come rob me,or just encountering some random violent homeless person. Park is just a place that NOBODY wants to be at night.

I would be surprised if she ever hangs with you alone now because just your willingness, na, your INSISTENCE, on going to a park at night with someone you barely know.. is very unsettling

[–]spartan_samurai0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

You showed excessive desperation to cling with her.

The reason her friend was cockblocking because she must have told her to do that in the bathroom. She was interested in you in the beginning but your clinginess killed the attraction. When you got her number , you should have left there and text her later to set up date. But you kept going back to take her out for a walk that shows your scarcity mentality.

[–]michael_in_chains[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I wouldn't call it desperation, I was just confident and thought I'll make out with her the same night no problem. Thanks for your opinion.

[–]vial_of_music0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

She just probably did not want to walk in a park alone with a stranger and her friend was looking out for her safety. Sheesh.

[–]AgreeableHelicopter20 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Don't listen to these comments OP.

The main problem.is that you forgot the fundamentals. The ONLY person that decides whether or not she goes home with you is not you, not God, but HER FRIENDS.

Here's 2 things you should've done.

  1. When you approach the table asking to.borrow her which was a very good move, you should've introduced yourself to the friends FIRST - and then asked to borrow her so they know who.yoi are at the very least and see you're not a drunk/creep/beta male
  2. when she says she has to go to the bathroom upon pulling (which you executed AMAZING and textbook), GO WITH HER to the bathroom and wait for her so the first thing she sees when she comes out is you.

What I think happened is that she wanted to leave with you but when she told her friends they probably told her not to go, and we all know she doesn't want to lose her social status with them so she obliged

You did amazing OP. So I'll leave you with this quote.

"Don't worry asshole, you'll get another chance" - Predator 2

[–]michael_in_chains[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Thank you for the clarification!



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