These two tweets sum up perfectly why “not being like other girls” is NOT a compliment!

BasieSkanks · 2020-02-26T12:58:01+00:00

[deleted]

FodderFigureIllushun · 2020-02-26T13:35:50+00:00

Being chill is fine. Pretending to be chill just because you're afraid of appearing like an upright bitch is not.

It's ok to have standards and agreeing boundaries but not ok to be annoying about it. For example, I was on a date and the guy was pushing my buttons. Instead of "teaching him a lesson" and telling him off, I just excused myself from the date and ended it there. No love lost, no unnecessary expenditure of energy.

Maintain your dignity, not everyone is worth setting straight.

MissCandid · 2020-02-26T15:29:10+00:00

ACCURATE. The worst relationship I ever had was with a guy who always told me how much he literally hates girls and was glad I wasn't like them. He ended up hating me too of course

Solid-Liquid · 2020-02-26T10:07:01+00:00

Yep. Spent 3 years being the easy going chill gf...only to get taken for granted, be an option, and get $5 movie dates and nothing else.

I saw a tweet that said “let a n***a slide once, and he’ll start ice skating”. I let him slide for a lot of shit because at the beginning of our relationship, we both worked retail, so when he said he was tired and didn’t wanna meet up, I was ok with that. He started canceling on me saying his schedule (he worked 2 jobs and school) was crazy but SOMEHOW had time to go bowling with his coworkers and grab ramen with a friend. Our “dates” turned into him trying to stop by before a quick fuck either before or after work. He canceled on me 4x over the summer, and in September, I ended it because I let him get away with SO much shit that he felt like he could do whatever because I wasn’t really calling him out on his bullshit.

I followed him for a bit on snap after the break up (it was still relatively good terms), and saw that he was doing karaoke every Thursday, and coming back at 3 am even though he has 8 am classes Friday which, honestly pissed me off, but it definitely confirmed I made the right choice (I blocked him btw).

inkybreadbox · 2020-02-26T11:30:00+00:00

I literally just had this conversation twice recently, once with someone I was casually dating and once with a male friend, about how I don’t think it’s a compliment when they tell me I am not like other girls. I explained that it seems like they are either a) implying that they have a problem with the way the majority of other women are or b) dismissing the way I feel/behave as something atypical and non-representative of women. We are all individuals with different likes, dislikes, opinions, and behaviors. Having any standard of what women are like as a whole is ridiculous. I can’t even think of anything that would cause me to say “you’re not like other men” because I know all kinds of men, and it makes no sense.

Polleyka26 · 2020-02-26T14:23:59+00:00

I once was “complimented” by a man who told me how great it was I don’t show myself off on social media like other women do. And that made me a “good girl”. Which is disgusting for so many reasons, but my main take away: They don’t want to put ANY extra effort into keeping you.

DelicateDream · 2020-02-26T16:04:47+00:00

Back in the day I took this as a compliment. Every guy would say I was the most patient and understanding woman they ever dated. Of course that sounds like a wonderful compliment but it’s always in comparison to “other women” who of course did not put up with their BS as I was unwittingly doing.

gimmeyourbadinage · 2020-02-26T14:38:57+00:00

I hate that so much. Other girls? You mean like my grandmothers, my mother, my friends? In one breath you managed to offend me and drag my sisters. Yum. /s

BookwormJane · 2020-02-26T14:09:03+00:00

When a man says that, if also means that he sees other women in a demeaning way. Huge red flag

Sommer_Sprotte · 2020-02-26T15:39:41+00:00

Ugh I hate that "you're so chill " shit so much. About a year ago I was dating a guy that I really liked and one day we were at a concert and he bought me a drink, but he got me a weird kind of beer I didn't like. So I said smth like "thank you but I really don't like this type" and he got really annoyed and told me that I used to be so uncomplicated and that was what he liked about me and yeah he turned into a full-on fuckboy soon after. It really hurt too, because even then I subconciously knew that "uncomplicated" meant he wanted to fuck me over and being the pick-me I was , I acted like a complete pushover after that and he gave me the typical fuckboy treatment. The thing is, that he actually seemed fine up until that point (taking me out to nice restaurants, similiar interests) and yet he was propably always planning to pull that shit, so be extra careful, even if he seems good at first.

woadsky · 2020-02-26T16:42:42+00:00

Anytime a person is placed into a category (i.e. "you people" or "you're not like 'you people'") it is insulting. Everyone is an individual and deserves to be seen for the unique individual he/she is. By saying you're NOT like "you people" the pronouncer is still displaying prejudice against an entire population. There is also an undercurrent of entitlement, because the person thinks they have the astounding ability and intellect to judge and make the comparison.

TheWarmestHugz · 2020-02-26T15:52:53+00:00

‘You’re not like other girls.’ Well damn, I’d rather be like other girls cause other girls are amazing.

twerkingslutbee · 2020-02-26T15:24:19+00:00

Also a lot of guys think that they're fuckign micheal cera looking for their ramona flowers and that means that, if you dress alternative, and they hit you with this, it's likely they don't like you for you and just because you portray this image of being a manic pixie. They don't see you, just your image.

MixedTapeComeback · 2020-02-26T13:39:50+00:00

This is a set up to try and get you to prove you’re different...you know, from girls who spoke up, who didn’t put up with bs, etc. Also just another version of, I’ve never met a girl like you, I’ve never felt this way before...blah blah blah. Manipulation in the form of making you feel extra special helps smoke cloud my issues.

jadedea · 2020-02-26T16:35:31+00:00

My ex was not like the other guys. He saw a low maintenance, troubled woman, and still treated her like a queen as much as possible. A treatment I never got since I started dating again, with the exception of my bf.

Lizadeviza · 2020-02-27T14:50:54+00:00

Us vs them.

"I'm not like the others"

"I'm not like other people"

Don't you find it interesting how when people refer to "society" they talk about it as if it was some far away thing seperate from them?

Human beings have an obsession with being both different and better than everyone else, bonus points if being "better" goes in with morality. The same rush triggered from something like schadenfreude or a humblebrag. Truly telling.

AP__ · 2020-02-27T23:29:34+00:00

I’m shook

Title	These two tweets sum up perfectly why “not being like other girls” is NOT a compliment!
Author	BasieSkanks
Upvotes	1382
Comments	35
Date	February 26, 2020 7:38 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/f9pqi3/these_two_tweets_sum_up_perfectly_why_not_being/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/these-two-tweets-sum-up-perfectly-why-not-being.681482 https://theredarchive.com/post/681482

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