No lie. I’m 31, the guy is 27.

Forgive me guys, firstly. Now I’ve read this subReddit this is embarrassing to write because I can see I should have never even gone on the date to start with, but I did. So here’s my confession.

  1. He was late. Literally I was arriving at the place and he told me at the time he arranged as I was arriving- rang and told me, that he was running late because of work. This was after him telling me we should meet earlier rather than at the time I had suggested. He said he’d be 20 minutes and he was 45 minutes late
  2. He spent most of the date talking about himself. Me, me, me me. Then at one point half an hour in he said ‘Oh I’ve been talking a lot. Tell me about you.‘ Not, Oh by the way, what about XYZ that I’d told him about- like my recent study or the fact that I’m changing careers. Nope.
  3. He made fun of me being slightly older. I may be 31 but I’m a peiete girl that gets ID’d in most places. I was back in my home country recently and in hair salons, at the dentist etc, everyone assumed I was a teenager. I look young. This guy was 27 and looked honestly about 40, tubby, wearing a grandad sweater, doesn’t look after his body that grest...and he was trying to imply I was old. Mmmkay.
  4. I told him a bit about my background that my father works in finance and we have properties back home. His eyes popped out and said ‘properties?!‘ and then joked the dinner should be on me. Again. Not funny.
  5. Also, it’s difficult in the moment sometimes to identify it, but he negged me all date long. Everything was neg neg neg. At one point be asked me what I viewed a ‘good relationship‘ as and I said the guy has to be improving the quality of my life, and he says thats ‘bullshit‘ or something to that effect.
  6. We started talking about films and he went on and on in a really disrespectful way about how hot a certain actress is. I’m short and curvy, she’s tall and skinny.
  7. At one point in the date, he admitted he wasn’t really ‘trying’
  8. He told me that he broke up with his ex but was a ‘great boyfriend’ in the last months of the relationship. I asked him to elaborate. He mentioned basic things like knowing what her cravings were when she was on her period. I was just like. UMM. Yeah. OK.
  9. He also repeatedly kept talking about how well he redeemed himself on the date despite being late. I really thought he was joking, but he was serious. He didn’t redeem shit, at all. He was rude as hell all evening.

He’s a Software Engineer. I had high hopes but I’ve now blocked him, after he texted me the next day making jokes about the fact that he was late to the date. I blocked him on WhatsApp and he called me outside it and I didn‘t answer.

Sometimes when a guy is awful, I don’t know why but it takes me a while to process or fully realise it. Honestly it wasn’t until I blocked him that all this stuff came flooding right at me. The negging, the disrespect, deliberate attempts to make me feel stupid.

I‘m on the fence about deleting my dating apps now.