It takes 7 months for men to propose

randomgirlimok · 2020-02-05T21:31:13+00:00

Under a year and you're both still in the honeymoon phase and he's on his best behaviour. No way would I say I spend the rest of my life with someone that fast. I'd be wary of a man who proposes that soon.

StillAwakeofCourse · 2020-02-05T21:31:33+00:00

I really think this is dangerous advice for a woman who has been in abusive relationships and can't tell the difference between a good man and an abuser hiding in plain sight. It's difficult to clearly see red flags - especially because abusive behaviour is romanticised in society.

There doesn't need to be this big rush.

FutileDeathStar · 2020-02-05T20:26:56+00:00

I just don't think all relationships are the same or follow the same trajectory. Ultimately, as people, we are all different. For me, personally, 7 months would feel like way too soon for someone to propose marriage. Then again, I'm not looking to get married soon so that might be a factor.

iasminag · 2020-02-05T21:58:07+00:00

Beware of Rose Tinted Glasses in this case.

My ex was never the type for marriage or children before he met but he made it clear that he wanted to marry me and get me pregnant around 6-7 months in. He was a LVM so when I wouldn’t act like he wanted me to, he would ‘reconsider’ those and go back and forth.

The Rose Tinted Glasses I had were very strong so I struggled a lot with this, including a mini-depression and sporadic suicidal thoughts (eg when he would yell at the top of his lungs at me and threaten me with breaking up, a couple of days after he said he’d like a grand wedding, getting me into a mindset where I was fantasising about jumping off a bridge than being there).

Rose tinted glasses often make it seem like a breakup is worse than anything else. Mixed with other factors, it can get messy.

Nearby-Armadillo · 2020-02-05T20:20:05+00:00

Source?

Ishouldbewriting83 · 2020-02-05T20:28:59+00:00

[deleted]

jalapenopancakes · 2020-02-05T21:15:23+00:00

How do you know someone well enough after 7 months to decide you will marry them for the rest of your life? That's nough enough time at all to really know somebody.

Greennag · 2020-02-05T20:37:02+00:00

I think a proposal around 6 months in is a red flag honestly. A lot of abusive men are eager to “lock you down” quickly because they know you’ll be more likely to forgive a husband than a boyfriend. Marriage talks around a year in is good, but a whole proposal and ring quickly isn’t really a good indicator.

venomous_g · 2020-02-05T21:18:52+00:00

I don’t know if there is a specific time frame... but I will say that if he has any inkling of marrying you he knows right after your first encounters. Men usually decide they want marriage... and then find a wife. This is why waiting for a guy to want to marry you is stupid.

jalapenopancakes · 2020-02-05T22:04:04+00:00

They know sooner than that.

supremelyparanoid · 2020-02-06T03:37:30+00:00

This is dangerous advice and does not look at nuances.

Examples:

Someone could be love bombing you only to trap you in a marriage to control and abuse you.
How can your truly know someone after 7 months? Especially if you haven’t lived with them?
What if you’re both 18 and you’re not looking for marriage but instead a secure relationship where you can safely be intimate without having ONS and risky sex.
Does that show good judgement if a man proposed after 7 months? Or does that show impulsivity and rush to the alter for some other purposes that might not be about loving you?
What could he be hiding that you might not know about? Secret family?
LOOK AT EVERY EPISODE OF FORENSIC FILES. Quick and early marriages end very badly lol.

It’s ok if he says he wants to marry or get married SOME DAY SOON within that space of time but sis if he proposes. You know he’s just 🤡ing.

woiashenseea · 2020-02-06T14:29:37+00:00

For everyone saying that rapid pacing of the relationship is a sign of abuse - DUH!!

Is it not already assumed that women on FDS are appropriately educated to the red flags of abuse?! Don't we already know the "it could be love bombing" stuff??

An informed and self-respecting woman will easily know the difference - no, I'm not blaming women, I'm holding us accountable. Yes, there are true psychopaths who are exceptions, but even the NUTCASES I've been involved with were men I could have avoided had I been informed about abuse and its signs.

cannedboelyn · 2020-02-06T16:14:25+00:00

I have an ex guy friend who had a series of long term relationships. He started dating this girl and he married her in less than 6 months.

2020-02-06T07:25:01+00:00

Terrible advice. Have some self respect OP and delete this.

Title	It takes 7 months for men to propose
Author	strobechick
Upvotes	0
Comments	29
Date	February 5, 2020 3:28 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/ezb69m/it_takes_7_months_for_men_to_propose/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/it-takes-7-months-for-men-to-propose.683247 https://theredarchive.com/post/683247

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