Genuine Emotional and Physical Connection

ino_y · 2019-10-31T03:23:33+00:00

I assumed it was unspoken - we're all here because we KNOW we're compassionate, kind, nurturing, nourishing, mature and capable.

We've been used by men who are the complete opposite, and we need dating strategies to weed them out faster, instead of getting sucked into 6+ month timesinks, only to realise.. oops, found another one.

Our caring nature and willingness to forgive is what makes us great partners, and easy prey. We need advice on spotting red flags, and standing up for ourselves.

Finding a decent man is the hard part. Giving our all and being amazing is the easy part.

Tequila_Fridaze · 2019-10-30T22:29:22+00:00

I think genuine connection comes with time. A lot of the content on this sub is to help remind us ladies that we need to differentiate that initial physical connection from a genuine one that may be built later. We need to protect our hearts from low value, low effort men. We may be attracted physically to someone right away, but if we give them our hearts and our bodies just to find out they aren’t willing to invest their time and resources in us, they will just string us on and ultimately leave us heartbroken. So, until that genuine connection has been mutually built, it’s necessary for the men to show us they are ready to be the high value men we deserve.

We have plenty of assets to offer men, and a lot of them, we women just come by naturally. We’re fun, sexy, smart, beautiful, nurturing, good company, etc. Those are some amazing qualities we have to offer. Let’s make sure we’re offering it to the good guys only!

2019-10-31T00:46:25+00:00

Remember that a lot of the topics discussed here refer to DATING not RELATIONSHIPS. Once you’re in a committed relationship, sure, who pays for coffee really shouldn’t matter all that much. But in the very beginning, as women, we need to be on guard with men.

soxychamp · 2019-10-31T03:50:32+00:00

Genuine emotional and physical connection is the easy part with the right person (think about your friendships... did you have to force it? Work for it? Apply strategies to get it?)

This sub is about weeding out not only trash dates, but dates who are not compatible with you for whatever reason.

A guy can have no red flags, be a complete hot gentleman who pays for your dates.. but have no chemistry with you. It’s a compatibility issue. There’s nothing you can do about it.

Forming deep emotional connection should be effortless and it comes naturally with the right match.

If you have to ask how to do it, you are probably trying it on bad matches.

This applies not only to dating and relationships but friendships as well.

aneightfoldway · 2019-10-31T01:16:21+00:00

So maybe we need a thread for once you score the relationship.

I just did and I now...I’m lost? I will absolutely keep these standards but..how do we keep the spark, interest, and respect?

aneightfoldway · 2019-10-31T05:26:02+00:00

[deleted]

AngeliqueDemone · 2019-10-30T23:46:48+00:00

Men don't respect women who split bills and pay for dates.

How are you going to have any sort of connection with someone who does not even respect you?

Inez_Honeyfox · 2019-10-30T22:18:55+00:00

I’m glad you posted these thoughts, I’m also new here and trying to understand those lines.

khaleesi2018 · 2019-10-31T09:20:46+00:00

You have the wrong mindset. Arranged marriages were the status quo for centuries. The divorce rate among arranged marriages is low - even when they move to western countries (e.g. Indians in the U.S.). Forming a genuine connection will occur naturally over the course of a marriage while you're try to commit your heart and soul to "my friend", "some guy I'm seeing", "XYZ situationship", etc. after only 6 dates. Choose logically. The emotional connection will come later, and (despite what Disney tells you) the emotional connection is not that important for a successful relationship. It will fade and change as the relationship progresses. Insignificant actions (like who pays for the 6th date) is all about establishing boundaries. The average man that is paying for all of your dates can only afford to date one woman at a time under this paradigm so this boundary sets a guideline for the fidelity that you expect from him. It also is a trial run for his ability to be a husband and a father. If he's complaining about the cost of Olive Garden while simultaneously telling you he spent hundreds of dollars at GameStop then you know he's not relationship-material.

TiredFred · 2019-10-31T09:27:15+00:00

The key is self care and good boundaries. You have to work on yourself to make sure you are clear about what makes YOU happy. Once you’ve done that, you know what you enjoy, you have an interesting life that doesn’t require being in a relationship. At that point, In my experience, it’s easy to find someone to date, as you already know what you need for you. You are then looking for EXTRA from a man, not crumbs. You’ll have respect for yourself, as per this sub, and you’ll find someone who respects themselves, and is interested in putting the effort in to getting to know you better. Mutual respect is the basis of a good relationship. This sub is a great place to start.

wemadethemachine · 2019-11-01T07:01:58+00:00

I'm sorry that people are calling you a troll because I don't think you are a troll. But I do think you are either very young/inexperienced or, more likely, you have not been treated the way we have been treated by men. I don't say that in a mean way -- my sister is the same and it is astonishing to me. How is it that this has been clear to me for my entire adult life and when I tell my own sister about it I practically have to beg her to believe me?

It's not hard for me to form a connection with someone. I know very quickly whether I want pursue that with them or not. If you think that men are also putting themselves out there, I honestly want to know where you have spent your life or what kind of life you have led that you have come to believe that. It's beyond me.

Connection is easy and comes naturally to me and if men didn't introduce me to their process of gleefully feigning it, I don't think it would have ever occurred to me that there could be people on the earth who spend their entire existences lying about the only thing that matters. I was introduced to this phenomenon over fifteen years ago and I am still reeling from it like it just happened last month. Absolutely beyond human.

AverageToHot · 2019-10-30T21:30:15+00:00

It's pretty much assumed that we also seek genuine emotional and physical connection along with chemistry. Just because we don't talk about these things, doesn't mean that we only caring about men paying on dates. A connection is easy enough to form. However, paying on dates is an indication that a man is stepping up because he invests in his relationship with you. If a man does that consistently, there's a higher chance he will treat you like the love of his love.

If you're so against for a man paying on dates, the door is wide open, girl. You're free to leave this subreddit because clearly you're not fit for it. This isn't a sub where we continuously debate the merits of letting the man pay. If you want to pay, go ahead, but it's futile trying to challenge one of FDS' core principles.

Title	Genuine Emotional and Physical Connection
Author	aneightfoldway
Upvotes	46
Comments	37
Date	October 30, 2019 8:33 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/dpce91/genuine_emotional_and_physical_connection/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/genuine-emotional-and-physical-connection.689140 https://theredarchive.com/post/689140

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