Browsed the sub porn free relationships. It brought me to deadeyes, which then took me to the most heinous shit I’ve seen in my goddamn life. There is a sub “AbusePorn2” absolutely full (110,000 members) of grotesque depravity that has no bounds... I am almost at a loss for words, it makes me so sick. The comments are part “I just like the consensual abuse not the real stuff” but mostly “fuck yeah you can see it in her eyes watching a woman break makes me so fucking hard.” There was another sub, something like regret in her eyes??? I don’t want to go back to find the real sub name.

I’ve been in plenty of abusive relationships: married a drug dealer who beats women (even when they’re pregnant with his kid) and raped me. Dated a man for 2 years who hinted at being into this abusive rape shit - he wanted me to spit in his mouth, slapped my face during sex even after I’d said hell no, was obsessed with anal, a sex addict who used Craigslist personal ads and brothels, AND he sexually abused his younger foster sister. I didn’t find out how disgusting he was until way too late; it took me a LONG time to realize he was less than the dirt under my shoe.

A lifetime full of abuse at the hands of men and yet still, I honestly just cannot believe the depravity. I’ve surrounded myself with HVW ways of thinking, and my life has become much better now that I’ve been single. I just don’t think there’s even any hope, men are raised to be absolute filth.