The wisdom and anecdotal evidence I have complied during my 25 years on earth tells me that the majority of men’s “ideal relationship” doesn’t align with that of women’s.

What the majority of men do want, isn’t monogamy (well, it isn’t monogamy on their part). I’ve come to realize the ideal dream situation for the average man is for him to have a harem of women (2-3) of which he rotates who give him the “girlfriend experience” without him having to commit or give any of them emotional support.

I believe the red pillers call this “plate spinning”. And because many men have a very, “do as I say, not as I do” approach to romantic relationships you won’t be able to see other men while involved in this harem.

Of course the vast majority of men will never be able to have a harem of women waiting to treat them like kings for nothing in return but that sure doesn’t stop men from trying. Thus, the rise of the infamous “situationship”.

What many women don’t realize is while he’s in a situationship with you he’s also trying to get in a situationship with the other 2 women he matched with in Tinder.

I’m addressing this because i’ve seen many women on this sub confused by men’s tinder bios that say “I don’t want a one night stand, just trying to find someone to connect with that’s not serious” or some variation of that.

This is literally the bat signal for:

“I want you to treat me like your boyfriend and be emotionally invested in me but I’m not going to treat you like my girlfriend. I’m going to use you until I’m bored of you. Oh and we’re not committed so I’m going to see other women but you better not see other men!”

A lot of men bait and switch or “future fake” to achieve this. They’ll say “I just want to take it slow and see where it goes I’ve been hurt in the past.”

Translation: “We’re going to take it slow romantically but not sexually. I’m going to drag this “relationship” out to get the maximum amount of sex and validation out of you until you finally come to the conclusion that I’ve been leading you on this entire time and I was never going to truly commit to you.”

You may be thinking, “okay, Here4Bach. This all makes sense but what about when he says he DOES want a monogamous relationship? How can I make sure he’s not lying?”

The signs he’s playing you will almost always show up in his personality and actions. Catch the red flags before it’s too late. Things to look for:

-Is he flaky? -Is his attention and affection wishy-washy? -Is he showing you too much affection and attention too early (love bombing)? -Is he emotionally immature (does he lack tact or emotional depth) or immature in general? -Does he still have his tinder up even though he’s expressed that he wanted to be serious with you? -Does he lie? (Especially about stupid, insignificant stuff) -Does the things he tells you not add up? -Does he only talk to you at weird hours of the night or in random bursts?

If you answered yes to 3 or more of the questions. You’re getting played. Avoid the situationship, ladies. Despite what the LVM and pickmes say, it is in fact high, risk low reward