Stats: Bf: 22% Height: 5’3 Weight: 112 lbs Lifts: I don’t lift weights Reading: RPC Finances: part time medical translator while in dental school, no debt Spiritual: I would like to think I am a strong Christian woman, I read my bible daily, pray several times a day, and go to church weekly (though I attend online now during the pandemic)

I don’t know if this is necessarily the right sub for me, but I’ve been having some pretty serious issues with my fiancé. I’ve been a long time lurker, and while I grew up a Christian, I’ve recently become a follower of devout and real Christianity, directly mirroring the teachings of the Bible.

For some additional background information on myself, I graduated college when I was 21 and have been in dental school for 3 years now (I am currently 24). I studied overseas in Spain (I’m from the US), so I support myself now by working as a part time medical translator. Being in dental school is extremely time consuming, so I just barely scrape by with bills, but so far I’m fortunate to have no debt.

Two years ago I started dating my boyfriend. He was a strong biblical leader, exactly the kind of man I was looking for, and in turn I’ve done my best to act in a way mirroring biblical submission as best I can. I have never been particularly head strong even as a child, so it’s a role I have taken with joy and enthusiasm.

My bf never went to college, so after high school he started working for a contractor and doing odd jobs. About a year ago he broke his arm playing football and had to quit his job. Since then he hasn’t worked, and when COVID hit, his parents kicked him out. I allowed him to live with me, but his behavior has begun to concern me.

A few weeks after moving in he started pressuring me into sex. I told him no, not until we’re married. He proposed shortly afterwards and has continued to pressure me, saying it’s my duty even though we are not married.

He refuses to do any housework or cooking saying that as the woman it’s my job. I stopped asking him to help, but he will yell at me if the apartment gets too messy or if I don’t cook him dinner. Since I often work nights, I have to meal prep to ensure he has something to eat. He complains that he has to heat it up.

He’s extremely jealous. He no longer permits me to go out with my friends. By “go out” I don’t mean to bars or clubs. I used to have a bimonthly girls night with women from my church where we would get pizza or go bowling. I tell my fiancé anytime a man asks me out since I think that’s good communication, but my fiancé says it happens too often. He also monitors what I wear. He told me a dress was too slutty because it was shorter than my knees, he also won’t let me wear leggings to the gym, I have to wear really baggy clothing. I never thought I dressed immodestly nor has anyone every brought my modesty into question. However, out of respect for him I wear what he asks me to.

I’ve accepted all of that as his leadership so far, but I feel like he has taken it a step too far. Two nights ago he told me that I needed to drop out of dental school. It has been my dream since I was a child to become a dentist, and not a dream I am willing to give up. He also told me once he is working again he expects me to quit my job as a translator. He said that my working undermines his authority. I normally accept what he tells me, but I immediately reacted negatively when he told me that and didn’t respect his authority or decision. I told him it was a terrible idea. Dentists make a lot of money and we would live very comfortable if I finish school. I told him that it’s something I’ve worked hard at and I’m not willing to give up my dream.

He became very angry. I thought he was going to hit me, but he held it together. He then kicked me out (of the apartment I pay for) and I’m currently staying at my mother’s house. I really could use some advice. My mom wants me to break up with him, but I made a promise to marry him and my word and integrity is very important to me. Are his expectations actually reasonable? Am I totally in the wrong here?