In a recent thread on female attraction, u/OfSpock and I had a conversation regarding the concept of women having "reactive" sexuality. She said that in the past she's asked for sources for the claim that the default mode for female sexuality is reactive rather than active, but has not received any. I followed up with my own comment regarding information I've gleaned from my job and personal experience;

I work in the sex toy industry, and the amount of female customers I've spoken to who had "negative" experiences with creams and pills that supposedly increase female libido is pretty damn significant. The most common complaint is that while the creams/pills did indeed make their clits more sensitive to touch or increased blood flow and lubrication to their vaginas... apparently this doesn't translate into horniness for them, even though their sex organs are engorged with blood and are more sensitive? As one recent woman told me "My downstairs was ready for sex, but my upstairs still didn't care". I have tried a few of the creams myself (not into the idea of taking pills) and I was definitely hornier than usual after about 10 minutes. Like, my libido went from the daily 6/10 it always idles at to 9/10 where I had to go rub one out immediately. It would probably work the same for you. It's odd, like most women have a disconnect between their physical and mental arousal but for us the connection is strong.

In other words, all the physical symptoms of sexual arousal where evident and noticeable in these women, but they still weren't in the mood for sex. One woman told me she was attempting to use the pills to match her husband's libido, another said she was hoping they would help her feel like masturbating, and more than a few customers have said that they just wanted to spice up their bedroom activities for their boyfriends, thinking that it would help lower their inhibitions to positions they deemed "degrading" but he wanted to do. So obviously these women are actively working at improving their sex lives...but are still coming up short in the actual desire department. On the other hand, it had an undeniable affect on my own libido that seemed much closer to what my customers are actually seeking to experience. My hypothesis is that my customers have reactive sex drives that require more than a physical component to "turn on" whereas women like OfSpock and myself have active ones that are "on" without need for anything external, although further stimulus will still serve to increase it.

Which leads to the question portion of my post.

1) Q4W: Have you ever tried using enhancement pills or topical creams, and if so what was your mental reaction? Was it in sync with your physical reaction?

2) Q4W: Do you personally have a reactive libido (it requires a stimulus from your sex partner) or an active libido (you are horny without need for external stimulus)?

3) Q4W: Does your previous answer change at different times of your fertility cycle? What about when/if you use hormonal birth control?

4) Q4W: Do you watch porn as a masturbation aid?

5) Q4W: Would your partner walking into the room naked be enough to make you horny, or do you need more stimulus? If so, what kind of stimulus would work best (verbal, physical, romantic, etc)?

Men feel free to answer the same questions under the Automod.