I've been going back into the basics, stuff from years back. Something I haven't seen in the subreddit in a while was the idea of hysteric bonding.

A girl, for whatever reason, decides to make a decision in her self interest and against yours. Usually it's cheating in hopes of potential hubby #2. A few guys noticed, usually when the divorce proceedings were not going according to her plan, or when beau 2.0 didn't actually stick around, that the girl starts talking about 'mistakes were made, want to work it out?' and then some of the best sex of their relationship.

It turns out anxiety and loss aversion are natures aphrodisiac. It's the same idea as to why the main event exists, why dread game can be remarkably effective, and FOMO are standard game concepts. Dr. David Bus talks about the massive amount of sexual motivations women have in 'Why women have Sex' (a great book if you haven't read it) and this is one of them. No one really talks about it though. Women don't like the idea of their sexuality being their own agency on the world, and most guys are too ego invested to see the motivations. It's much easier to let ego tell him 'she realized she fucks up and really knows what she's missing now!'

Anyways, if you're a guy who has been through a relationship ending amount of bullshit from a wife or girlfriend, then suddenly hot sex and super loving behavior comes in a few weeks later, chances are it's hysteric bonding manifesting. It's nothing you did, and it's gotten a lot of guys to accept taking back a horrible deal. If I can find it I'm trying to find this field report from the guy who was divorcing his wife, and had her give him a start to finish blowjob in his lawyers office. I remember his quote pretty specifically "At any point in the last ten years this is all she had to do to keep our marriage working, and she chose now, that the signature is all thats left?"

That and he let her finish, signed the papers, moved on with his life. If anyone has it, please share the link below, it's a damned wonderful field report.

I hope /u/alphabet49 is still around, he was the one who first put me onto this years back.

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