My boyfriend broke up with me because of jealousy

KittenLoves_ · 2018-02-24T10:48:59+00:00

Everything you have described is ridiculous. You're allowed to interact with people like a normal human being when you're in a relationship. No one should expect you to forego basic ettiquette or decline work at your job because you need to interact with someone of the opposite sex.

lukeyj_gtfc · 2018-02-24T12:28:36+00:00

Guys perspective here. He sounds insecure and not great. If he believed in himself, it wouldn't bother him much. Part is knowing you are valuable and no matter what is on show, your girl is interested in you and others also.

He sounds controlling. The sort to bring you down to keep above you rather than build himself up.

My view is your vetting wasn't great. You picked the wrong one. A Red Pill guy would lift, work on himself, stfu and not get butt hurt.

WhatIsThisAccountFor · 2018-02-24T18:49:14+00:00

and he would get angry at me for ordering food at a restaurant with a smile

.

One time he also accused me of checking these two fit guys at the pool, where I never even glanced at them or mentioned them.

.

And apparently his friends were all shit testing me and doing stupid things like offering to shake my hand (as a greeting) and if I shook it, I failed

This is an irrational amount of jealousy. He sounds insecure. I don't think there is a way you could have realistically made this guy happy regardless of how you reacted.

I understand being suspicious or wary about you texting or seeing other guys 1 on 1, but to be like this about colleagues and shaking the hands of his friends? That is just obsessive.

rosaliegreenleaf · 2018-02-24T12:40:42+00:00

It is a big red flag. Jealousy is not a good thing. Honestly get over him and next him

Rivkariver · 2018-02-24T19:44:45+00:00

I can understand the principle he’s coming from, in the sense that in a serious relationship I think the people should both be a bit less friendly to opposite sex than before...but that should come from a place where, they are saving their best energy and sincere attention for each other, so as a natural thing they don’t have the same energy for outside people.

But he has taken it very far, and I am sure it’s because of his ex leaving him and that happening to his friend. To him it probably feels like every time that will happen, and it’s everyone. Especially when it happened to his close friend, he has a false perception this is normal.

It is not your job to fix that though if you don’t want to move forward with him...he certainly needs a lot of healing, and if he needs space to do it that is his choice and probably good right now.

I think a bit of jealousy is normal, since in LTR you are very intimate so there is an emotional risk...but notice I said only a bit.

eazolan · 2018-02-24T18:30:23+00:00

You're not supposed to shake someone's hand? What culture is this???

red_matrix · 2018-02-24T17:32:23+00:00

Wow, this guy is toxic. I'd run from this relationship.

Spazzy19 · 2018-02-27T21:06:01+00:00

My boyfriend and I have struggled with this issue a bit, but through counseling and communication we've managed to meet each other halfway. We both have a history of being cheated on, but his jealousy IMO bordered on being irrational. On the other hand, being controlled is a trigger for me, so it caused some hiccups in the past.

For example, I get monthly massages and do MMA (my ex husband and ex bf also attend the same academy), so I'm going to do jiu jitsu with men as well as women. Thinking of other men touching me makes him want to "barf." I also have several long time male friends who are now in relationships/married and we chat on occasion. Provided I'm not doing anything untoward, those are my hard lines I'm not willing to budge on and he has acknowledged he was being irrational in the past. He just wasn't accustomed to having an extroverted gf that thrives on close connections. I am open about my interactions with my guy friends and life and will introduce him to them when the opportunity arises (I live on the opposite coast now).

On the other hand, he has made me more aware that my personality is naturally bubbly/flirtatious and how guys perceive interactions differently than women. I have been willing to cut or reduce contact with guy friends who have admitted they're in love with me (not reciprocated) or who were flirtier than he was comfortable with.

Your experience rubs me wrong because it was too controlling and he was overly insecure. It's not attractive anyway. But listening to your partner's concerns and modifying any behaviors that would put them more at ease isn't wrong either. You just have to decide where the line is for yourself for what's reasonable vs. controlling.

BeklagenswertWiesel · 2018-02-24T14:45:21+00:00

Huge red flags flying left and right with this guy. You dodged a bullet for sure.

[deleted] · 2018-02-24T14:55:06+00:00

Dodged a bullet. He sounds irrational.

Banincoming · 2018-02-24T15:01:31+00:00

Sounds like he had mental illness.

bitchpotatobunny · 2018-02-24T19:54:45+00:00

That's way beyond abnormal; that's ridiculous. Those actions described are that of a completely insecure man. Overboard is an understatement. If I had to guess, his and his buddy's ex both left because they probably act similar. The fact that any of his friends would agree to, or participate in, hand shaking as a shit test is some of the most absurd basement dwelling incel behavior I've ever heard. Consider yourself lucky, you dodged a bullet with that one. You'd have ended up stuck with a man that was either abusive, completely lost your respect and attraction, or both.

andheaven · 2018-03-18T22:57:10+00:00

His jealousy was absolutely overboard. I am sorry you dealt with someone like this- he isn’t someone you would want to spend your life with though, it’s good he is out of your life. He definitely has some growing up to do.

akenofu · 2018-02-24T14:14:28+00:00

He is just insecure . Also, a man who has such little faith in himself that he needs to validate his value through u isn't really worth the effort . Ur probably just sad ATM but as soon as u get over it and think about u would figure that this is probably for the best

Title	My boyfriend broke up with me because of jealousy
Author	sheikha4teddies
Upvotes	18
Comments	38
Date	February 24, 2018 10:27 AM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/7zvu1s/my_boyfriend_broke_up_with_me_because_of_jealousy/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/my-boyfriend-broke-up-with-me-because-of-jealousy.74313 https://theredarchive.com/post/74313

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