Why can't I seem to find a good man? Only low quality men of the bottom 99 % trash seems to like me!

Aldabruzzo · 2021-02-22T22:08:36+00:00

I'm having a pretty bad 3 years (life) so fuck you if you don't like this.

I've been single 3 years, I'm 30. When I was 27 I was excited to hop back on the carousel. But it didn't work out, a few guys I fucked wanted to date more. Some of them weren't for dating. Some of them were fuckboys. I'm tired. In the past 6 months I had 3 guys ghost after we fucked. They said they wanted to meet again after we fucked. Two of them, I made them wait 2 months. After we fucked, ghost. I had 4 video chats this week. I told two guys to fuck off so they never messaged again. I liked the other two, but they didn't like me. I thought it went OK, I mean, I'll put out fast. So now I'm wondering if i'm slutty or bitchy or angry or whatever. I guess they just didn't like me. But getting rejected hurts! Huh, maybe that's what men feel like. Oh, I don't give a shit about men.

On top of this, my abusive ex who I loved and who kicked the shit out of me, is having another kid. Then this other guy I really liked and he was an asshole and broke up with me, he's in a relationship. Even my stupid fuck little brother can get a girl. My recently divorced sister can meet guys because she's in shape and hot, and I'm the fat dumpy one. I paid for That Hookup App That Shall Not Be Named, but i can't find any dudes on there. Most of the guys are nasty. I mean I've already been through the tatted up guys, the smokers, the dope fiends. But the worst? It's the loser divorced guys with kids. I mean, GROSSSSSS!!!!!

So I am like losing my shit here. I'm not close to my family. I got issues and it's all their fault. My friends have relationships and kids and don't live close. I'm awesome though! I have a great job, and that makes me fuckin boss! But I'm always alone! Why don't guys like me? I mean, I have teh awesum job!! But I'm not settling!! No scrubs. No losers. No weirdos. No betas. No bald guys, no fat guys, no unemployed guys, no short guys, no "short" guys (IYKWIM). It's men's fault. My friends have no time for me. They're all torturing me. Why do it be so haaarddd for me???

I've got lots of hobbies so I don't have time to meet guys. I'm recovering from PTSD, multiple personality disorders, and other stuff my parents did to me. Cuz mommy was a bitch and daddy didn't give me enough attention. It's all their fault. I want a guy again. Maybe I should get one of those mandogs. I just can't meet guys. I didn't sports stuff. but sportsball is hard. I don't talk in groups so meetup groups aren't good for me.

I want a husband plowhorse provider. I want kids. But everyone has someone. I'm bored. I deserve someone to care for me and support me and pay for my shit so I can experience life. Who cares about what HE wants? Oh yeah, my last relationship was ABUSIVE! He like wanted things from me! He wanted me to do things for him! He wanted me to have sex with him! He disagreed with me about important things!

FML

Chiliresident · 2021-02-22T19:02:47+00:00

Due to OLD women don’t realize what their actual attractiveness level is. Men don’t unmatch women they find attractive so as usual this 49er is her own worst enemy. Modern women need humility not higher standards otherwise die alone we don’t care.

oldsmobileaurora · 2021-02-22T19:34:24+00:00

"a few guys I sort of dated wanted a relationship but I didn't feel it was right."

So you had your chance, passed it on by, and are now complaining that you can't get anyone. And who's fault is that?

Oh yeah, it's the guy's fault. /s

Joshua886 · 2021-02-22T19:01:36+00:00

If beta buxs isn't swiping, this girl is ugly.

plainnsimpleforever · 2021-02-22T20:14:18+00:00

"and as the middle child it does often seem like I'm pretty left out."

Only a woman with hundreds of hours of therapy with a female counsellor would even think of such a fatuous thought.

Overkillengine · 2021-02-22T20:06:10+00:00

I'm still young

Not in female reproductive terms she isn't. In fact she's a measly 5 years away from geriatric pregnancy status. And given the time it takes for a man that isn't desperate or short on time to properly vet a woman, if she's not already in a relationship at 30, her odds are pretty fucked in terms of the 2.5 kids and white picket fence fantasy.

Aierdre · 2021-02-22T19:45:56+00:00

The number of "I" per sentence is exceptional...

urbanspun1989 · 2021-02-22T20:35:15+00:00

She says and I quote "I am not ugly lol" Case closed boys

InevitableOwl1 · 2021-02-22T20:51:16+00:00

Guys are ghosted all the time. Without even getting to video calls. Boo hoo. I note she doesn't note what she said on the calls. Either revealed a red flag or unwillingness to escalate (depending on where she is from - lockdowns and coronavirus rules vary by place)

Why does she care that the two guys she wasn't into never messaged?

The guys who ghosted her after saying they wanted to meet again? That sounds and AWFUL lot like she went really passive and didn't show enough interest or enthusiasm. They said they would like to meet again and she sat back and waited for them to make all the plans and they thought "fuck this". I'd put money on it

You highlighted the wrong part in paragraph three. Or at least should have highlighted the first part. Bitter jealousy of exes and family members plus the reveal that her sister is in shape - which means she absolutely is not. So she is self hating due to jealousy and not in good shape

Her swipe rate is 1-3%? What does she mean by this. I thought she hated swiping. Does she mean who swipes on her? I didn't think it showed you this. But seriously if it does mean who swiped on her and she is only getting 1-3% then she must be a straight 1/10. Anyone shed any light here?

At least her dealbreakers aren't unreasonable. But she might have made them more palatable. Of course she does mention "unattractive" so that is subjective of course

Her getting a dog is probably a good move to be honest. Unconditional love and it might reveal that the whole she has isn't as big as she seems to think. But given her bitterness of the "success" of friends and family relationships I doubt that

The "I'm still young" is only really true if she doesn't want kids (which she doesn't mention).

jzck20 · 2021-02-22T21:03:16+00:00

If she thinks it's hard at 30, wait 35, 40, 45...

But well, 1%-3% match, you're voluntarily narrowing the pool

I does not look like it works for her

Silent-Gur-1418 · 2021-02-22T23:31:07+00:00

Her mention of how physically active the people around here are sounds like a subconscious admission that she is not. She's obsessing over those habits of her friends and family members because she knows deep down that that is a huge part of why they are successful in relationships while she is not. It also tells me that she is using "self care" as code for "Haagen-Daz by the gallon".

SolidStateDynamite · 2021-02-22T23:47:38+00:00

Man, that third-to-last paragraph is a treat.

I like my family but we're not super close and as the middle child it does often seem like I'm pretty left out.

Those are the words of someone who told you to feel that way, because 1) if you get along with your family then you're not going to be left out, and 2) it's not your family's responsibility to keep you entertained or included in every single thing you think you're missing out on. Have some responsibility over your own life, for heaven's sake!

The few people who are a bit closer and more supportive just are so busy with kids and not living close.

Yeah, it's called having their own lives to live. Everyone takes a different path in life, and they can't keep backtracking just to support someone who didn't settle down when she was younger and prettier. I have a couple of close-ish family members who I'd consider "friends" in fairly loose terms (I play video games and D&D with them every so often), but all the friends I met in high school, college, and everything in between are long gone. That's life, it happens to everyone.

Also while I'm proud of myself and I generally think I'm awesome, I finally have a good job and can live on my own... I'm always alone.

You know who cares what you think of yourself? No one. I'm usually the smartest person in the room, and that's not an exaggeration. You know who cares? No one. Unless your self-reflection is in an effort to improve, any opinion you have about yourself means squat.

and I definitely don't want to settle, I know how bad the wrong relationship can be.

Translation: "There might be a better guy around the corner, so I don't want to settle and miss out on someone better."

There's always someone better. There's always someone better-looking, wealthier, taller, smarter, harder, better, faster, stronger, etc. out there. Usain Bolt won't always be the fastest runner. Lionel Messi won't always have the biggest contract. Jeff Bezos won't always be the wealthiest.

A decade after I met my wife, I met a girl who I had more in common with. Literally one of those "Did we just become best friends?" moments that, frankly, I never had with my wife. Would I trade my wife, who checked almost all of my boxes otherwise, for someone I clicked with more instantaneously? Of course not, because I know there are thousands upon thousands of girls out there who could do the same thing.

But this is just horrible I feel like I'm being tortured as none of my friends have time for me and I don't really know anyone who's single and I don't know why it's so hard for me.

It's "so hard" for two reasons: you haven't come to terms with that fact that your peak is behind you, and you're wasting all your time holding out for some nonexistent perfect guy. If you're genuinely interested in a happy life, a guy who is "good enough" is good enough.

kyledontcare · 2021-02-22T22:09:53+00:00

She's old and past the expiration date. Let those ovaries dry up and blow away.

Glittering-Meat3088 · 2021-02-23T00:36:43+00:00

She's jealous of her sister, who works out and is riding guys after her divorce, and won't date a guy with a kid even though she has her own cunt spawn. She's fat, hateful, and hypocritical. It's no wonder most guys don't want you, and the one's who speak to you ghost immediately after.

reignoferror00 · 2021-02-23T03:25:44+00:00

"I'm pretty excellent at self care"

I think even Bill & Ted would agree on that being a bogus statement.

flakula · 2021-02-23T01:57:01+00:00

Have YoU cOnSiDeReD lOwErInG yOuR standards?

3Piper · 2021-02-23T04:02:14+00:00

This bitch is 30 and still thinks she is young! SMH!

Wolvesovsiberia · 2021-02-23T07:00:02+00:00

30 I'm still YOUNG

AHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA

mistralol · 2021-02-23T17:05:31+00:00

| four guys ghost after they said they wanted to meet again.

This is normally how guys were treated in their 20's by women. If women had other options they just lied in order to get beta orbitors installed around them to pickup the bits when other stuff went wrong.

| swipe right rate as 1-3%

Well stop aiming for the top 3% of people. I bet she isn't in the top 3% if she was she probably would not need to use tinder.

Chgralac73 · 2021-02-22T22:23:20+00:00

well in end there is one bright side here. the dog will not eat her face off once she is dead

IdrinkandIknowXL · 2021-02-23T04:59:44+00:00

She’s probably a cow. Boo hoo hoo nobody wants me but jailhouse guys.

SashoAlex2000 · 2021-02-23T13:22:09+00:00

> 30 years old

>I know i am young and life still is ahead of me

Life yes, but dating life, not really.

coke501 · 2021-02-23T14:52:28+00:00

I'd imagine that when you have a lot of hobbies and still no friends then you either only have hobbies that don't lend themselves to meeting people (and are most certainly nothing to bond over) or you are quite the bitch.

ColonelGray · 2021-02-23T14:54:14+00:00

"I'm not ugly, lol"

Proceeds to prove herself wrong.

houseoftolstoy · 2021-02-23T23:39:49+00:00

Only 1-3 percent of guys are attractive enough for her, huh. No sympathy will be found with me that she does not have a relationship. Also, Tinder should not be used for finding relationships.

I know I'm still young but I do want a family.

Whatever definition she wants to use for "young," she still does not realize that time is not on her side. Yes she can still have children, but that window is getting smaller and smaller, and she is at square one in having any family of her own. She does not come off as a woman who prioritized having a family as a goal in life, and what do you know. She is nowhere near having a husband and children. Nor is she likely to ever get that, based on her standards and judgment.

Title	Why can't I seem to find a good man? Only low quality men of the bottom 99 % trash seems to like me!
Author	AxxonC
Upvotes	239
Comments	72
Date	February 22, 2021 6:14 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen/comments/lpvhgl/why_cant_i_seem_to_find_a_good_man_only_low/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen/why-cant-i-seem-to-find-a-good-man-only-low.744368 https://theredarchive.com/post/744368

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