How do you cultivate more feminine personality traits?

External_Visit8416 · 2021-07-14T12:54:33+00:00

I’m not usually a super agreeable person either, but I’m with a man who knows how to handle it. I’ve also learned to just “pick my battles” if you will, and that has helped me come across a lot less stubborn. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve realized many things are not worth my peace to argue over, and I think simply recognizing that will help.

Islehaven · 2021-07-14T13:28:26+00:00

All personality traits can be described in negative or positive terms. A nonagreeable personality can as well be described as forthright, persistent, independent, candid, all of which will be attractive to someone who likes those qualities.

You can certainly learn new skills. Someone low in agreeableness may not have bothered to learn how to be pleasant, for example. That doesn’t mean you can’t learn how to be pleasant while still expressing your personality such being pleasant and forthright, persistent, and so on.

anothergoodbook · 2021-07-14T11:51:11+00:00

Jordan Peterson has a few videos on how to balance those traits and go further along the spectrum to say being more agreeable.

I’ve had to do the opposite and become a little less agreeable and it isn’t just a masking - but sometimes I do have to stop an evaluate if I’m being taken advantage of or being too trusting.

Luscious-Grass · 2021-07-14T13:38:39+00:00

I am a fellow low agreeable woman. The way I personally approach this is that I know I can force myself to be more agreeable to a point in certain situations (social situations with family and friends) but have to be realistic about who I am and the UPSIDE of it as well.

Relatively low agreeable people make the most money and are taken advantage of the least (providing they are also conscientious as well). At work I don’t care who likes me and that makes me very effective at my job in software sales. I am plenty cooperative but I don’t self sacrifice.

And I think honestly that is what being agreeable is at the root - the willingness to self-sacrifice for the group. I don’t hurt the group and will do what I can but I know my limits and ultimately put myself first above any man or group. The only exception is my daughter.

I don’t have a perfect marriage but I somehow found a masculine man who really values me the way I am. We have power struggles sometimes, but I’ve learned when to let him lead and when to insist I am the leader. I DO have a feminine side, I AM caring, I just won’t let anyone get away with taking advantage of me even a tiny bit. So if you want my caring side don’t push my limits.

Sooooo, my advice to you is two fold:

1) Own who you are, don’t try to change yourself more than is realistic because you are correct it is impossible

2) Watch how potential men “show up for you” when dating, and pick a man who shows up for you in a way you naturally like and who you don’t have the urge to nag. This is important for all women but it is ESPECIALLY important for low agreeable women since they won’t stuff in their feelings and go along to get along. Your warm feminine side will have the highest chance of coming out if your man rarely pisses you off.

MirriMazDuur · 2021-07-14T14:12:03+00:00

I have sccored a 1/10 in agreeableness on my personality assessement. I feel you.

First, keep in mind that you do not change and you do not put on an act. There is a difference betwen your personality and your behaviour.

I recommend you try to maximize your interactions with women and minimize those with men. You know that saying that you are the average of the 5 people you hang out with, right? People rub off on you and if you have a group of guy friends you hang out with that treat you girls like one of the dudes, you really start to transform into one of the dudes.

Then I'd recommend reading Marcus Aurelius' Meditations. It's not a pshychology book, but it does wonder in calming your aggressive and confrontational side. There is something very humbling in reading what a Roman emperor told himself in order to deal with the outside world. I guarantee that when you finish it, you'll say to yourself "yea, I gotta chill and keep to myself a bit

ManguZa · 2021-07-14T14:46:04+00:00

Every changes feel inauthentic at first, until you integrate them in your personality and then they become just another part of you.

Islehaven · 2021-07-14T12:27:07+00:00

If your desire is to find someone to be your captain, find someone who’d be able to handle you.

Edit: I see that my point has been misunderstood. You can always learn skills, and that can certainly be valuable. That’s not the same as changing or masking your personality. Not everyone finds agreeableness an attractive personality trait. Nor does someone who’s a leader always need or want someone who, for example, isn't clear and forthright about their own opinions. To the extent that you successfully mask your personality, you’ll end up with someone who wasn’t looking for you.

2021-07-14T17:50:52+00:00

Women with masculine traits are a turn-off for masculine men.

Consistent-Message68 · 2021-07-18T22:20:22+00:00

Here is the thing, you will never compete with woman that are naturally, and effortlessly feminine, they will attract a certain kind of men and you other type. This mean, be something else(preferably the you you enjoy the most), if you read a lot about personality theory and compatibility you should be familiar with assortative mating, which mean people that sort of alike in multiple regard tend to get together.

If you spend to much time on the internet reading too much about what “men want” and getting all those simplified media version of reality you will forever front the hamster wheel of change to be something else.

I have never observed in my life a profoundly masculine woman become permanently, gracefully feminine. You can make effort, soften some trait, rethink some pattern, but an orange is an orange.

Find an orange lover, not someone that fall in love with your apparently underdeveloped feminine trait.

JulesB954 · 2021-07-14T14:24:24+00:00

I have always been pretty agreeable all my life. The only times I caught myself being more disagreeable is when I dated men who had more feminine energy. I could be wrong, but I think I became more aggressive/disagreeable because I secretly resented having to compensate with masculine energy. You may have a job that requires you to be in your "masculine" or maybe you have also dated men who were very feminine. It is possible that it is just your personality regardless of setting and circumstances. I have a friend who is like that and she is unbothered by it. She is the head of her household and her husband follows her lead. If you believe your disagreeableness is imbedded in your personality, that is fine as long as your okay being the leader in any relationship. If you are not satisfied with that, then you should seek a man with high masculine traits who you also trust, while working on bringing forth your feminine energy. Hope this helps :)

anonkcthtk · 2021-07-14T15:00:10+00:00

Mrs. Midwest has a great video on how to be feminine with a large personality: https://youtu.be/0BIb1pE5K8A

platewrecked · 2021-07-14T22:31:33+00:00

I'm downright unpleasant, argumentative, and stubborn.

Why? I am male and can be all of those things but I am only any of those things when there are reasons to be. Even when I could be or am tempted to be unpleasant, I try not to be because it it almost without exception, counter productive. As to argumentative and stubborn, those traits come out when there is something of value against which I have to take a stand. I'm a criminal defense attorney and I'm very good at what I do and even in the context of courtroom defense, I argue what is necessary and am stubborn when I need to put up a wall against the State overreaching.

My wife is very feminine and is also a litigator and while she can be argumentative and stubborn, it is rare outside of the courtroom. But then again, she doesn't have any need to be argumentative and stubborn in her daily life. When she has been in the past, there was always something else bothering herand she acted out as a coping mechanism (not a very uplifting method but a very human response).

I would advise you to look to see whether those three traits you mentioned as being fundamental to your personality are really just self protective mechanisms you're employing to manage your current life situation.

If you genuinely are downright unpleasant, argumentative, and stubborn regardless of your circumstances, then you're most likely hard to be around. Spending time with a contrarian personality is emotionally exhausting.

I wish you the best in figuring this out.

ThorsdaySaturnday · 2021-07-14T15:19:23+00:00

I disagree that being agreeable is an RP trait, I see it as more of a societal thing imposed upon women. It’s okay to be feisty! It’s the timing and the delivery of it. You can be opinionated without making your partner feel less than. You can listen to your partner’s point of view AND share your thoughts and suggestions too. Also pick your battles. Before you start one, ask yourself what you and the other person stand to gain from the conversation. Is it valuable? Or is it for the sake of petty satisfaction?

Title	How do you cultivate more feminine personality traits?
Author	Raeign
Upvotes	52
Comments	19
Date	July 14, 2021 11:18 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/ok290j/how_do_you_cultivate_more_feminine_personality/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/how-do-you-cultivate-more-feminine-personality.791410 https://theredarchive.com/post/791410

Comments