Custody negotiations advice?

LMDINC · 2020-03-11T14:49:35+00:00

First off. For child support no matter what you agree on. Anyone can go file anytime. And get it. Child support has nothing to do with anyone or any agreement.

2nd. When Stbx and I talked she asked for the same thing and I refused to be a glorified babysitter. ( and I know some guys can’t due to their job and I respect that. ) but I am fortunate enough that I could do 50/50 and it was a hill I was willing to die on. So yeah ask for 50/50 if your situation allows. And it’s not a favor or her allowing. If you are truly able to why not.

A lot has changed in many stares in last 15-20 years. It’s not like 30 years ago.

thefudmaster · 2020-03-11T19:37:30+00:00

Child support isn’t an optional thing in courts unless you both make the same in income. With every other weekend, you would likely have to pay.

You have to show the court that you have everything in place (childcare when your away and before and after school) for it to work.

My situation is contentious but my ex and I have 50/50. My kids are thriving in school and all other aspects as well.

BlackFire68 · 2020-03-11T19:00:29+00:00

She always would have child support on you. If she agrees not to go after it, she can go after it when the child is 18 for back support, regardless any agreement to the contrary. Yes, go for 50/50 no matter what.

MartyMcFly7 · 2020-03-11T15:36:16+00:00

My wife asked for the same thing, which came as a total surprise. I assumed we'd do 50/50, but she asked for full physical and legal custody (with me getting the kids every other weekend). Luckily, my kids are almost adults so they have a say in what they want, but still fighting her on it.

Just about every study and meta-study on the subject concludes that children do better in almost every respect when they spend more time with BOTH parents. Now that it's been proven that this is in "the best interest of the children," judges are leaning more heavily towards giving time to fathers.

Unless you physically abused your kids, the courts should be on your side.

CerebralAssazin · 2020-03-11T16:23:43+00:00

She’s trying to buy you out, that speaks volumes. I’d pay twice the support if I had to, to get 50/50. Stick to your guns.

sexytimeinseattle · 2020-03-11T21:19:29+00:00

you get 50/50 by law, and if you want it you should take it.

Also, your child support is based on time anyway, at least in my state. So by pushing for 50/50 you're also reducing your CS commitment, and she might know that the state will come after you for it regardless.

willirach35 · 2020-03-11T19:09:46+00:00

Unless a child is in harms way, each parent should have equal custody. PERIOD.

SingleISuppose · 2020-03-11T14:45:15+00:00

I was fortunate, in that my ex and I were 50/50 from the get go. Does she have a reason for wanting more of your child's time besides... just wanting it?

sc1617 · 2020-03-11T15:20:31+00:00

NYS here.... unless there is a problem, the court should start you off at 50/50, regardless of what your wife wants. Do not agree to anything or sign anything with her, and make sure your attorney maked it clear to the court that you want 50/50. Child support is standard, you and your wife can't really agree to skip it. The court will decide the numbers based on both of your W2's.

dday_throwaway3 · 2020-03-11T16:30:07+00:00

Negotiating away child support is a trap. Even if you both agree, she can go back to court to petition them to enforce CS state guidelines. And you know what? Every judge will do exactly that, due to financial incentives from the federal gov't for states to collect CS.

Status quo is the greatest bias of the court. If you work and she's a SAHM, then you're screwed if it goes before a judge. If you both work, then a GAL will likely be assigned by the court to make a custody recommendation.

Title	Custody negotiations advice?
Author	Throwaway07141976
Upvotes	7
Comments	41
Date	March 11, 2020 2:36 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/fgy471/custody_negotiations_advice/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/custody-negotiations-advice.818461 https://theredarchive.com/post/818461

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