What should I say to my feminist (&misandrist) gf?

DavidByron2 · 2021-07-02T06:16:37+00:00

So you should get out of the relationship before she decides to fuck you over by calling the cops. Is that possible to do without setting her off? If so just go ahead and go. Don't get cute and be nasty about it. Don't poke the bear; just leave.

LonesomeRaider · 2021-07-02T07:14:24+00:00

Get away from her as quickly as possible lol.

Papa_Goulash · 2021-07-02T09:57:53+00:00

She is unfortunately infected with this new illness that’s been going around, the “I know what you’re thinking” disease. I didn’t realize telepathy was contagious but there are an awful lot of psychics walking around these days — you don’t even have to pay them anymore, they’ll tell you if you’re racist, sexist, homophobic, ageist, ableist, etc. without even asking! They even know your background before ever getting to know you! They take one look (getting your aura, I guess!) and know if you’re privileged or not! It’s amazing, but sad. Because like pretty much all psychics, they’re wrong.

In all seriousness, please don’t waste your time or life with someone who “knows” what you’re thinking or “knows” what is in your heart. Find a woman who is willing to take an interest in you, and get to know you for who you really are.

MrHupfDohle · 2021-07-02T10:08:10+00:00

You lost me at "feminist". Would never date one. Too much stupidity, too much drama.

There is no happy ending with a person like her. "You hate men, Im a man so buh-bye!".

This type of person will bleed you dry if you cross them. Not worth it.

Maxwell1138 · 2021-07-02T10:43:26+00:00

Sometimes it can be hard to realize you are in an abusive relationship. Its part of the sunk cost fallacy. Which is when you are unwilling to alter or end a current behavior or activity because of the amount of time/effort/resources you have already invested in it.

This was obviously a very important relationship for you, you've been together a long time. And you still care a great deal for you, and are looking for ways to fix what you feel is broken in your relationship.

But nothing is broken, she has changed as a person. And the person she has changed in to, is not a person that is healthy for you to be in a relationship with. The 'fix' that you are currently attempting to find, is trying to figure out how to change her as a person. Which is not something you should ever be doing in a relationship.

Coming to terms with the fact that she is abusing you emotionally might not be something you can easily accept. But you have to review all your interactions with her, how she makes you feel, how often you feel your exchanges are argumentative/hostile/degrading, and when was the last time you felt truly happy together as a couple.

Because from the information you've provided, she is making you feel like shit. She is degrading your opinions and well being, gaslighting you on issues that concern you and you feel are important, undermining your well-being and personal image, as well being generally abusive and dismissive of your feelings. These are toxic behaviors in a partner and you must not allow yourself to continue being abused like this.

I'm sorry this has happened to the girl you once knew, and I hope you can find someone that is good for you in the future.

Auserna · 2021-07-02T10:45:53+00:00

What should I say to my feminist (&misandrist) gf?"

Bye.

2021-07-02T09:56:07+00:00

Leave

TheStumblingWolf · 2021-07-02T12:25:15+00:00

Actually, men are like this. Obviously not everyone, because I know that white cishet men may get offended (laughing). But most men are like this.

Let's try an experiment:

Actually, black people are like this. Obviously not everyone, because I know that black people may get offended (laughing). But most black people are like this.

This kind of woman would not be my girlfriend for long. Have higher standards.

LastRounder · 2021-07-02T06:48:07+00:00

Meh. Go get a new girlfriend. I have no adequate explanation for being with someone, who disrespects you as much as she does.

AndyBrown65 · 2021-07-02T12:24:08+00:00

Just smile and walk away, it will only get worse if you marry and she will take your life to next level he’ll if you are stupid enough to have a kid with her.

Plenty of fish in the sea and this one sounds like she is a sting ray

jeff_the_nurse · 2021-07-02T11:21:38+00:00

How about, “You’re a sexist; I’m done with this relationship?”

Plzdontmindm3 · 2021-07-02T12:15:39+00:00

"It's hard to win an argument with a smart person, but it's damn near impossible to win an argument with a stupid person."

ridderrobby · 2021-07-02T11:00:46+00:00

"Bye see you never again"

maxlvb · 2021-07-02T11:02:08+00:00

Just one question for you...

Why is she (still) your 'girlfriend'?

Feminism: Equality, when convenient.

Maviarab · 2021-07-02T11:39:55+00:00

What should I do in these situations, where my gf has misandrist behaviours and at the same time accuses me of sexism/racism/mysoginy?

Say goodbye, have a nice life.

Sensitive-Bet-6504 · 2021-07-02T12:47:16+00:00

I’ve been where you are. It’s hard because the change is usually gradual over time and there’s other aspects that you like about her. However, you can’t ignore facts. I was dating a woman who was feminist. Sure I don’t mind. However, whenever we talked she’d get over emotional and twist what I said. She made massive generalisations about men, but if she could twist what I said to be a generalisation about women then I was being a bad person. She also repeated stats that i disproved. When I corrected her she’d go silent for a while, and the. Bring it up again later in another discussion. This repeated itself multiple times.

People see what they want to see. Life it tough and there’s going to be things thrown at the both of you. You need someone who’s got your back. It’s not about feminism, I’ve dated reasonable women who were feminists, it’s about how mature she is to be uncomfortable, wrong, and how able she is to compromise. You could be arguing about anything in this post, her reaction tells me she just doesn’t have these qualities.

In the long run it will only get harder for you. Some of my friends have women like this as their wives. She will not be reasonable on house chores, or disagreements in other areas. If she is unhappy in the relationship she will think it’s your fault. She will downplay your feelings. She will need mental health days but will only snap that you didn’t do X Y Z after coming back late from work. What you have described about your GF is immaturity and selfishness wrapped up in feminist ideology. You’ve also noted that she’s doing her bachelors whilst you’re doing a PhD. She’s dating up here. My girlfriend is feminist. She earns a lot more than me, we both share the chores, we both listen to each other. Nobody is perfect but she doesn’t flat out ignore what I say or dismiss it. There’s a lot of women who use feminism as an underhanded weapon to basically act like a spoilt child. Studies have shown that victim mentality is associated with narcissism, sociopathy, and a willingness to screw other people over for personal gain. There’s much better women out there than the one you currently have.

hehimCA · 2021-07-02T14:11:25+00:00

You are very young and in a long distance relationship with a girlfriend from high school. I don’t know anything about you other than what you posted. However, as others have pointed out, this relationship is probably no longer healthy for you. Also you are in academia which is a toxic environment for men. So you have a lot to think about. But only you can decide what to do. Good luck with your decision.

RubMobile2126 · 2021-07-02T15:12:52+00:00

These views that she has are only going to become more radical while she is in college. Just because she was a childhood sweetheart it doesn't automatically make her an ideal wife or mother to your children in the future. You're needs as a man are going to be wildly different than those of the boy that you used to be.

Bojof12 · 2021-07-02T08:20:57+00:00

Leave. You literally cannot beat women with words

mikesteane · 2021-07-02T10:39:21+00:00

Bye Bye

MrRonchito · 2021-07-02T13:51:19+00:00

Leave her while you can

armaadi · 2021-07-02T14:29:42+00:00

Ask her if she is interested in an actual conversation or if she just wants you to agree with her. Then ask her to actually listen and not shut down an argument if she doesn't agree.

Provide multiple sources to back up claims, so that she can't just say you are making emotional claims.

Really, though, open minded feminists are rare. Most are only open to how women are oppressed, and are disinterested in ways men get shafted.

bufedad · 2021-07-02T15:25:07+00:00

Goodbye.

Blutarg · 2021-07-02T15:32:08+00:00

Say "it's been nice knowing you, have a nice life."

Zephyr9865 · 2021-07-02T15:55:50+00:00

Dump her.It will be better for you this way.If you keep being with her,she will ruin your life.

DangerousEstimate610 · 2021-07-02T16:38:22+00:00

Look all I will say is before finding someone else tell her u believe in closer relationships rather than longer ones as she is a man hater so she will definitely harm you have break up and date another girl who believes in equality

Ice-Ice-B4by · 2021-07-02T22:01:53+00:00

repeat after me " I feel like this is not working out, I am not ready for a relationship". Get the fuck out and run.

mikesteane · 2021-07-03T10:22:32+00:00

Don't break up with her. Do the skilled thing at get her to leave you thinking it was her choice. You do this by lowering your value, e.g. by becoming clingy and needy. Soon she will tell you "it's not working out". Painless.

z770i1 · 2021-07-03T11:16:37+00:00

Just ask this. If everyone is like that, then why did you become my GF?

throwawaybear61 · 2021-07-04T03:14:12+00:00

Get a better girlfriend. This one is a self avowed member of a hate group. Hate criminals don’t make good relationship material.

reddut_gang · 2021-07-02T13:55:09+00:00

well it seems pretty obvious, but it's up to you. you have your whole life ahead of you, misandrist or not, I would spend the early years focusing on other things. but this does make the decision a lot easier.

Reddit1984Censorship · 2021-07-02T18:12:06+00:00

Run for your life.

ChadWolf98 · 2021-07-02T20:10:30+00:00

What you should say? Goodbye

Mens-Advocate · 2021-07-03T01:39:34+00:00

What should I say to my feminist (&misandrist) gf?

“Goodbye.”

Buddhalove11 · 2021-07-03T01:54:47+00:00

RUN LIKE HELL.

Arashiku · 2021-07-03T09:51:59+00:00

Break up with her. If she's not willing to actually have a conversation & challenge your beliefs (as a partner should do) Then she's not worth the hassel.

Nobleone11 · 2021-07-03T18:55:21+00:00

"There's the door. Bye."

ZS_1171 · 2021-07-04T04:47:07+00:00

Say "We're breaking up!"

jfdjjdejbd · 2021-07-04T04:50:38+00:00

Heres what you say: "I'm breaking up with you, go fuck yourself"

muslinsea · 2021-07-02T11:47:11+00:00

You came to this sub to ask this question. That means you want to dump her and are looking for support.

cumnutz1984 · 2021-07-02T15:54:10+00:00

Not a good idea. You don’t want to piss your gf off.

Title	What should I say to my feminist (&misandrist) gf?
Author	TheTede
Upvotes	42
Comments	58
Date	July 2, 2021 2:26 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/oc0uup/what_should_i_say_to_my_feminist_misandrist_gf/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/what-should-i-say-to-my-feminist-misandrist-gf.825069 https://theredarchive.com/post/825069

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