How do i tell people I dont like feminism without them thinking i hate women?

Hadashi_blacksky · 2018-12-14T19:29:50+00:00

You don't. Very few people are capable of seeing any difference

bufedad · 2018-12-14T19:57:13+00:00

Just say, I support equality between the sexes, so I cannot support Feminism.

Lupinfujiko · 2018-12-15T06:52:23+00:00

Never apologize or try to justify it. The minute you start spinning, they'll be all over you like sharks in bloody water.

Say, "feminism is the scourge of society." And look them right in the eye and dare them to tell you otherwise.

That's when they usually back down. Or, start laughing because they think you're joking.

That's the only strategy which has ever worked for me. I get torn to shreds if I try to half-step it.

jacksleepshere · 2018-12-14T19:33:00+00:00

Same, I’m always mentioning how feminism is shit and I get asked why I hate women.

When you say you hate the nazis you don’t get accused of hating the aryan race.

shit-zen-giggles · 2018-12-14T21:33:47+00:00

start with emma watson's UN Women's HeForShe commencement speach:

Fighting for women's rights has to often become synonymous with man hating

Then ask them why a global leader of the women's movemet would feel compelled to make such a statement and start a campaign to "formally invite" (another literal quote) men (back) to the movement.

There's many more here (shameless self plug, this post was pinned when I made it):

https://www.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/825fxg/a_collection_of_womens_voices_speaking_out/

Samantha_Cruz · 2018-12-14T20:15:17+00:00

lots of women hate feminism too.... it gives us all a bad name. I always say that I believe in equality; which is why I'm NOT a feminist.

mikesteane · 2018-12-14T22:18:57+00:00

On the contrary, it is feminists who hate women. They demean them by painting them as pathetically oppressed victims. They insult their capabilities by insisting on quotas which imply women are incapable of making their own way without special assistance, i.e. that they are inferior and they oppose their right to make a free choice to be housewives. It is we, men's rights activists, who are the only ones treating women as equals. With equal rights AND responsibilities.

Kanonizator · 2018-12-15T09:13:22+00:00

Don't talk to feminists if at all possible. Why would you??? They're brainwashed cogs in an evil machine and they probably can't contribute anything positive to your life without also being a huge risk of turning on you if they find out you're not a hateful bigot like them.
If you don't have the time or your conversational partner doesn't have the patience for you to explain your stance don't talk about feminism at all.
If you see a chance that you can convert anyone just ask them why it is that feminists invariably support leftist men over right-wing women. They chose Macron over Le Pen, they attacked Sarah Palin like vicious jackals, and they do the same to all women who are connected to the right in any way, shape or form. They kissed the ass of Obama and Joe Biden but they hate Kellyanne Conway and Betsy DeVos (both really successful women and potential role models) with a seething passion. They automatically attack and ostracize conservative women who want to be feminists, like Christina Hoff Sommers. Feminism is not a movement that serves the interests of women, it serves the interests of the political left.

Which is only natural considering women are not a monolith and they never had a singular interest that could be served. A young christian conservative lady has interests that are in polar opposition to the interests of rich old democrats like Hillary. Representing them in one movement is literally impossible. Feminism is a scam.

w1g2 · 2018-12-14T21:55:12+00:00

You may be able to counteract their assumption firsthand by saying:

"I hate feminism because it views women in a misogynistic way."

This will, hopefully, surprise them and get them interested in why you think so, while at the same time letting them know you don't think less of women.

goodmod · 2018-12-14T22:43:08+00:00

Start with saying you support women and equality. Then gradually introduce the idea that women are people, while feminism is a set of ideas.

Tedesche · 2018-12-14T22:41:47+00:00

In most cases, you can’t. Doesn’t matter how clearly you state it; most people will simply think you hate women subconsciously.

cfcsvanberg · 2018-12-15T02:58:21+00:00

If they are feminists, you can't. If they aren't, just say that.

bosshawg502 · 2018-12-14T19:34:33+00:00

Simple. You can't

lurkinatworkin · 2018-12-14T21:06:49+00:00

Maybe provide this example: I hate white supremacists but I don't hate white people. (I'm white btw)

weedislif · 2018-12-14T21:27:41+00:00

I said it and they said do you have woman (this was on Facebook) I said no I am a woman. i just hate feminism. I wish I could see there face.

whatafoolishsquid · 2018-12-14T22:46:33+00:00

If they think that then who cares what they think.

LeafFallGround · 2018-12-14T22:56:30+00:00

Don't offer that information. No one will understand. Respect women and men but just keep your politics to yourself. I do it and if someone asked me about feminism I would ask why they are so pushy to even bring up politics in the first place. Tends to make people feel like they need to shut up or they'll make feminism look bad.

iainmf · 2018-12-15T01:41:55+00:00

I've started to specify the 'feminist movement' rather than just feminism.

The feminist movement, like any organisation that becomes big enough, is now primarily about keeping itself relevant so it continues to exist. To do that they need to make women feel afraid and disempowered.

PM_me_ur_swimsuit · 2018-12-14T19:39:48+00:00

There's plenty of people in my life who assume I'm feminist simply based on how I treat the women in my life. At work, in relationships, in my volunteering, I treat everyone exactly the same. I don't mind it because it allows me to quietly insert our issues into conversation while keeping them on my side.

2018-12-15T03:10:37+00:00

Try saying something like: “I don’t like feminism because it’s hurting women and their quest for equality.” This is less likely to make the person think you hate women, because you’ve framed it as you’re interested in the plight of women. Then if they ask what you mean you can talk perhaps about how #MeToo has led to men being hesitant to hire and mentor women, or something more general like how feminism infantilizes women by not holding them to the same emotional and behavioral standards of men.

Philip8000 · 2018-12-15T04:03:37+00:00

You can't. If you don't like feminism, there are many people who will think you simply hate women. If you're not pro-feminist, you're anti-woman and that's the end of the discussion. You can try explaining, but I can't promise they'll listen to you.

saikon_1485 · 2018-12-15T08:08:25+00:00

you cant. the level of brainwashing is huge. gotta de-sensitize them with harsh truth

ifelsedowhile · 2018-12-15T15:12:44+00:00

I usually tell them that just like I support workers' rights but I'm not a communist, I also support women's right but I'm not a feminist.

Mythandros · 2018-12-15T17:24:15+00:00

Just say you don't like feminism.

Most will be offended, thinking you are saying you don't like women.

See, the trick is apathy. I don't give a rats ass what some idiot feminist thinks of me. I am just going to be brutally honest.

goodmod · 2018-12-14T22:24:21+00:00

[permanently deleted]

lozinski · 2018-12-14T21:05:43+00:00

Focus on the issue, not the word.

"I hate policies that treat men and women differently."

What is it about feminists that you hate?

DignifiedAlpaca · 2018-12-15T12:56:07+00:00

Here is my best advice:

Start off by saying that you judge the feminist movement by what feminists do in practice rather than by what they claim to represent.

Then tell them that the majority of feminists, in practice, do not advocate for the kind of policies that reflect your opinion of what gender equality should look like. Do not claim that all feminists do this, since of course there will be at least somebody out there who believes in relatively the same things you do but happens to call themselves a feminist.

Then point out to them that the majority of people who do have a similar concept of gender equality as you tend to consider themselves not to be feminists.

So you have simply chosen the side that has the most people who agree with your worldview. What good would it do to lump yourself in with the feminist crowd when most of the people who share your beliefs aren't to be found there?

If they are still listening, then you can get into the specifics of what policies you support and why. If they are not still listening, then they are too closed minded to be worth your time anyway.

tenchineuro · 2018-12-15T18:37:51+00:00

Tell them "Feminism is an ideology. Women are a gender."

Then show them very few women identify as feminists yet still believe in equality.

Problematic_Blender · 2018-12-16T16:39:57+00:00

I always say that I prefer egalitarianism, it's equality for everyone, regardless of race, sex, etc. If they have issues with you saying that you support equality for everyone and not just women, that's your cue to leave immediately.

InvHazion · 2018-12-15T00:03:11+00:00

You can’t. Not liking feminism = not liking what feminism has done = not liking the progress women have made = not liking women. It’s easier to come to that conclusion than it is to assume toxic masculinity means masculinity is toxic.

FightMeYouBitch · 2018-12-14T19:31:27+00:00

"While I appreciate the advancements of first and second wave feminism, I believe that third wave feminism, especially in western culture, is unnecessary and even self defeating."

blackjackgabbiani · 2018-12-15T07:15:00+00:00

Tell them what you hate about people who claim to be feminists while violating what the movement stands for. I'm a feminist myself and get furious at the usurpers out there who try to use our name for their anti-male bigotry. Maybe if you establish that from the beginning people will know that you know your stuff.

Also please dont blame feminism for what those nitwits are doing. They dont belong, not only in our movement but in decent society.

xNOM · 2018-12-15T01:04:11+00:00

Why would you say you hate feminism? This is like saying you hate brocolli. It's a meaninglesss statement. It's fighting, not arguing. Don't fight likea girl. Say something specific and factual about feminism.

NinjaFreeloader · 2018-12-14T22:07:13+00:00

Say I'm you're a feminist (and by definition you are if you want equal rights between the genders). Or just say that you're neutral.

Title	How do i tell people I dont like feminism without them thinking i hate women?
Author	SalamiSandwhich
Upvotes	66
Comments	80
Date	December 14, 2018 7:27 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/a67zi5/how_do_i_tell_people_i_dont_like_feminism_without/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/how-do-i-tell-people-i-dont-like-feminism-without.888302 https://theredarchive.com/post/888302

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