feminism is ruining my best friend's life

dissentforall · 2017-02-19T21:55:01+00:00

Fuck body positivity, she's literally dying. Can't get any less body positive than dying.

Lucius_Martius · 2017-02-19T23:23:06+00:00

I reject the traditionalist touch in this. Especially this:

2) She is really unhappy in her marriage because she married a "feminist" man who, while an extremely pleasant guy, is pretty much useless

Men are not utilities. Their worth is not measured by how much use they are to their partner. If that guy does not do his part in the relationship that's a legitimate criticism. But just having hobbies that are of no utility to his wife and not being sexually aggressive enough to satisfy his wife is not a valid reason for criticism.

Especially if he is the one who is happy in the relationship and his wife is the one who is miserable but does not have the guts to change anything about it.

fengpi · 2017-02-20T00:54:58+00:00

I really believe modern feminism is a manipulative inequality movement about giving women more rights than men

Yup, pretty much nail on the head there.

If you constantly think your team is always on the shit-end of the stick, you feel you're allowed to have infinite revenge.

v573v · 2017-02-19T21:56:52+00:00

Stop policing your friend and just enjoy her company on neutral topics.

She's following a dogma that places all blame on the shoulders of men instead of women sharing blame with men.

Your desire for a protector is typical - a protector and provider is the traditional role for men.

Your dislike of your friend's weight is also typical and you are policing her for not fulfilling her traditional role as a woman - a valuable mother.

There is a disconnect between the silent majority and the vocal minority. I would prefer A-typical men and women to be honoured and respected for their roles and those that want to break out of their roles to be honoured and respected as well. This is where feminism make a critical error - it ignores men and women's natural talents and inclinations and demands that they work against their own wants and desires to the point that we are all lead to believe that middle aged women working shitty jobs prefer that job over being a stay at home mother and that teenage girls never explore a part of their sexuality by wearing provocative clothes to high school.

Caboose111888 · 2017-02-19T21:59:19+00:00

Sorry that this is happening, it really sucks when a friend or loved one becomes fundamental attached to what is essential a religion. Is there a good reason that you're still friends with this person? It may be for the best that you cut her out of your life you're this frustrated. Alternatively you could try to get through to her one last time. Write a letter and include some of what you wrote here (but maybe a little less abrasive), sit her down and read it out to her. Perhaps try to appeal to her by saying how much it hurts you seeing her so sad and miserable, and that you truly think that it's her fanaticism that is the root cause. Good luck.

TigPlaze · 2017-02-19T22:08:10+00:00

Book worthy post, trash-dove. I wish every woman would read it. While you're at it, please clone yourself so that I can date you. I long to meet a woman who doesn't assume that man are evil for being masculine and that men not being attracted to obesity is normal evolution, not some evil plot.

kfijatass · 2017-02-20T13:20:28+00:00

A bit off topic , but I'm a male feminist (in the egalitarian type of way, not the triggered third wave as it's mentioned here) and I'm a bit ticked you crossed me off as useless. I'd dare say masculinity or femininity has no major impact on "usefulness", whatever that implies.

MizterUltimaman · 2017-02-21T03:54:18+00:00

Throwaway account, be wary bros

Badgerz92 · 2017-02-20T00:16:21+00:00

So you think that a man only has value if he's a real manly man who conforms to traditional male gender roles, and think all men should be like some macho 50s stereotype. Sorry but you aren't much better than feminists. Men shouldn't have to conform to traditionalist gender roles for your approval, especially men you aren't even dating yourself.

Uniqueusername121 · 2017-02-20T12:51:43+00:00

Also woman, aged 43. Ive been spending Some time on r/. CreepyPMs and r / niceguys, and to be fair, some of the guys are absolute asses (the ones who call a girl a fat cunt just for rejecting him come to mind).

But the women, oh the ever suffering women and their comments. The man is never EVER EVER right, and when you make a point suggesting he is, they brigade and fight, and argue and they never stop arguing first. Ever. They'll resort to PMs and reporting you, anything to not hear what they don't want to hear.

I don't know how men can even stand it.

If I were married to that- I'd probably lose myself in video games and D/D drawings too. Because it's certainly not companionship to have every hint of masculinity stomped out of you.

And don't even get me started on the way they assume making a statement about one thing extrapolates to another. I swear to God, those subs need a rule that states: if a person posts a comment, it never means the person thinks ALL men or ALL women think that way. That's what opinions are, after all.

I get it that they don't want a bunch of argument over their circlejerk (just like a bunch of pro-"feminist" comments aren't welcome here). But it makes them insufferable.

As for your friend, being fat makes her rejected, so she rejects first so she doesn't have to feel the pain. We are social animals, we need to be a part of a group to thrive. It's a sucky place to be- outside the group- so she simply decided that endorphins from food are better than none at all.

There's really nothing you can do about it. As much as you want to, your silence in the face of her obvious faux feminism is your only option. Well, that, and posting rants here. :)

AloysiusC · 2017-02-19T21:00:11+00:00

I WANT a man I feel can protect me. I WANT a man who knows better than me sometimes. Of course I want to be treasured and respected and honored as well

I'm skeptical. What I see is not an anti-feminist but a woman who has the same mindset as feminists only doesn't like the consequences of that turning into a political movement. The idea that it's men's job to protect and treasure women while also "knowing better sometimes" is exactly what fuels feminism in the first place. It's just the sociopolitical expression of that same desire.

Lupinfujiko · 2017-02-20T05:59:40+00:00

I really hope things work out for you and your friend. Thank you for sharing. :)

-redditardation- · 2017-02-20T07:17:45+00:00

[SCAN] 6. Pernyataan Berbahasa Indonesia [SCAN] 7. Pernyataan Pancasila

In regards to your points:

Find out if she has any outdoorsy hobby. Take this hobby up and drag her along for it. Don't start too hard. She is obese and is likely very unfit. If she likes the idea of rock climbing start out with a measured hike through rougher terrain.
Maybe talk to the guy a bit. Hint that she would love to see him work his way up. Maybe mention she wishes to lose weight and then mention how raising a child is a big responsibility and having a stable high paying job would be great as security.

As a final note. I think it is most important to learn from this and try and wake other women up. Speak to girls who are about to adopt these destructive ideas. Give them a counter argument. Your friend might be 'beyond saving' in terms of ideology but there are many young girls who are just taking up beliefs similarly destructive to hers.

Maybe once you find a way to help her lose weight and her guy gets a better more serious career she'll be more open to discussion.

However in general the best way to 'cure' feminism is to get a radfem pregnant. There are countless stories where women go from #KillAllMen to docile housewives when they have a child. There is something about biology and the biochemistry of the brain that seems to cause this.

JestyerAverageJoe · 2017-02-20T12:42:07+00:00

I miss men. God, I really miss men.

We're right fucking here.

Rasalom72 · 2017-02-21T16:54:50+00:00

This relationship will not last. You will end up cutting ties with this feminist simply because everything will come down to her being a victim of the patriarchy. You will not be able to have a conversation with her without it just spewing from her mouth.

Eventually, you will have no choice, and you WILL stop paying this person any mind. Plus, if you do nothing about her morbid obesity, then you are tacitly approving of it. It's okay that you're a fat fuck... I don't mind if you die early, or worse, become a huge burden on the tax payer. Don't be that friend.

As for her marriage... feminist men bought into the whole crap about body positive, it's what's on the inside crap. No man with any sense of self worth would put up with a morbidly fat wife. (unless he's into it).

Title	feminism is ruining my best friend's life
Author	trash-dove
Upvotes	48
Comments	64
Date	February 19, 2017 7:54 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/5v02bw/feminism_is_ruining_my_best_friends_life/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/feminism-is-ruining-my-best-friends-life.931631 https://theredarchive.com/post/931631

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