There isn't a men's restroom in my local coffee shop, and I want to say something.

kakacarrotcake34 · 2016-04-13T20:40:16+00:00

Well you can start by naming and shaming.

DavidByron2 · 2016-04-13T22:46:04+00:00

It is discrimination and it might be a violation of the law in one of various ways. But it's probably not a violation of federal law unless the cafe has some sort of state connection, like having a state provided license to serve alcohol (implying, arguably, a connection with the state, and so the application of things like the 14th amendment as applied to states).

So it can depend a lot upon what state you are in. A lot of states ban discrimination on the basis of sex in providing services to the public (for example things like "ladies night" are often illegal). In your case the cafe is providing a service to women that they are not providing for men, namely a bathroom specifically for their sex alone to use.

Now personally I could care less about that service, and indeed I would be a bit offended if someone assumed I cared, because that sort of implies I'm a sexist bigot. However women are often perceived as bigoted by businesses. ie women are perceived as thinking that it's icky to have to share a bathroom with a man. And in fact women often say that. This issue is quite a big deal these days, not (of course) because of the rights of men, but because of the rights of trans individuals.

At any rate the business offers a service to women that it does not offer to men, and that could be a violation of local (state) laws against discrimination in the provision of services to the public. This is true even if they are not charging for the bathroom. There could be a local state office in charge of enforcing this law which accepts complaints from the public, although they will probably not want to take your complaint too seriously, in part because you're a man, and in part because (reasonably) they might have some cases with more important implications like being kicked out of your house or fired. Still they could at least tell you if the practice was likely to be in violation of the law.

Here's an example from Nebraska:

http://www.neoc.ne.gov/ComplaintProcess.html

They link to the Nebraska law prohibiting discrimination in public services. If you were in Nebraska, it looks like your cafe is breaking this law. I'm just using Nebraska as an example. You may not even be in the USA, although it looks that way.

http://www.neoc.ne.gov/PALawText.html

Newbosterone · 2016-04-14T00:17:15+00:00

"I identify as a woman for the duration of this dump."

Archibald_Andino · 2016-04-13T22:08:10+00:00

This is crazy, so men can use the women's restroom but they have to be disabled! They should just make them all male or female. No rational in this current set up.

andejoh · 2016-04-14T00:06:38+00:00

Definitely a boycott even if it's just yourself and I would let the management know. You might be able to complain to your school if there is an affiliation. They couldn't change it, but they could pull fliers or other ads they might let the cafe distribute.

cld8 · 2016-04-14T00:33:05+00:00

Are these single stall restrooms (where you go in and lock the door and have the entire place to yourself) or communal restrooms (where there are multiple stalls and a shared sink area)?

HURR_RICK_HEINZ · 2016-04-14T02:53:34+00:00

I'd complain and piss outside next to the door.

redditorriot · 2016-04-14T08:03:46+00:00

What's the problem with making both gender-neutral if they're for single person usage. Y'know, 'Toilet'.

never_said_that · 2016-04-13T22:35:20+00:00

Operation occupy potty.

https://www.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/4ehoyj/i_am_glad_to_see_other_people_getting_annoyed_by/d209lr4.compact?context=3

Vandechoz · 2016-04-14T01:00:51+00:00

Take a long dump in the women's room every day.

matmannen · 2016-04-14T09:03:45+00:00

Go to the counter and aks if they have bucket, explain that them lacking rooms for you to leaviate yourself in, you can only assume that they mean that they will be providing bockets for their male costumers. Continue by asking if you should go of in a corner somewhere, or if right here before the counter is ok...

MRA-automatron-2kb · 2016-04-14T00:51:42+00:00

Are these single use toilets?

I used a woman's toilet the other day when the men's toilet was occupied at a store.

You should put black electrical tape over "women".

And put an electrical tape cut out of a penis on the woman symbol.

jimmywiddle · 2016-04-14T02:01:48+00:00

"If there wasn't a female restroom you know everyone in my mostly liberal campus would be up in arms about it."

And thats probably part of the problem, when you look at the cafes Facebook page it is full of skin tight jean wearing, wool hat wearing, metrosexual hipster beard liberal. Thats who it is pandering to in the male gender. Do you really think any of those men (and I use the word very loosely) have the balls to go up to the manager (probably a left wing liberal feminist) and tell her that it is sexist and discrimination ?

Simply write a letter to the stores owner (hopefully someone else) and complain, inform them that you are considering taking legal action because according to the advice you have been given its breaking the anti-discrimination laws and that you wanted to give them fair warning.

See how they respond. In the mean time ask on some legal forums and legal sites for some free advice on the matter and see if you can get some feedback on the subject. I am not massively familiar with US law but I am fairly certain that can't be allowed.

rg57 · 2016-04-14T05:30:18+00:00

Your rights are clearly being violated, and so are the rights of many men.

I recommend you consult a lawyer to determine the best way to take this to court.

Some ideas that crossed my mind (which work together):

Enlist several male friends to use the de-segregated bathroom every single time they make a purchase at the coffee shop. They should use the toilet, not the urinal, and take their time. This is their right.
Enlist a senior citizen with an urgent bladder to visit this place at popular times. Eventually the de-segregated bathroom will be busy when he needs it, but the women's room will be available. You want either a precedent that men can use the women's room, or that guests and staff will prevent him from doing so, regardless of his need and he may wet himself.

Obviously this requires more planning than the two minutes I put into it. Maybe it's stupid.

Deansdale · 2016-04-14T08:59:33+00:00

Vote with your wallet, that's a lot simpler than arguing with idiots. If you really want to say something say you'll take your money elsewhere until they change their practices - money is the language business owners understand. Make sure to say it to the owner though, the staff might just ignore you.

McGauth925 · 2016-04-28T01:17:16+00:00

Only women should be allowed a safe women space, obviously. And, only women should be allowed to discriminate based on gender.

FinleytheHuman · 2016-04-14T02:50:25+00:00

I think of it like this.

It's not an anti discrimination statement by the shop. It's a convenience situation.

If you have a guy/gal separate restrooms, if the women have to go there may be a line. It's a small cafe, a line building up could cause problems with space.

Women take longer to use the restroom for various reasons which is what causes these lines.

A place has 2 restrooms and can't expand, but wants to limit lines caused by female restrooms? Make the male one gender neutral so people feel welcome to use that one too. That way both bath rooms are used at same time, minimizing lines.

Only a small inconvenience because now a guy may have to wait to go, but you're a big boy, hold it in line for the first time in your life.

It's not a statement that men don't deserve a bathroom, it's still a place to go and allows the cafe to run smoother.

There's no Other possible complaint I can think of other than maybe you'll have to wait for someone to finish.

The door will lock, it's s one person restroom so no chance of someone seeing you do your business.

And it's perfectly okay for you to use.

So is there a problem here? Or are we looking for one.

Zoidbergluver · 2016-04-14T01:16:52+00:00

Are you kidding me? Is this honestly a real problem? Are your rights being infringed upon?

dominotw · 2016-04-13T23:42:34+00:00

This isn't probably the reason, but this probably works better in efficiency

Title	There isn't a men's restroom in my local coffee shop, and I want to say something.
Author	kakacarrotcake34
Upvotes	36
Comments	55
Date	April 13, 2016 8:31 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/4enji6/there_isnt_a_mens_restroom_in_my_local_coffee/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/there-isnt-a-mens-restroom-in-my-local-coffee-shop.951874 https://theredarchive.com/post/951874

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