I became permanently disabled 4 years ago. My wife of 6 years says she is filing for divorce.

jtaylor73003 · 2016-02-12T05:24:32+00:00

You do have rights, but what they are only a lawyer can tell you. First off get a lawyer. Second off refuse to move out of the family home even if your lawyer says it is a good idea. A good family lawyer will inform you that unless there is a court order to remove you from the home doing so is a sign of abandonment.

So again find a lawyer. I given at least something to judge if they are good or not.

Drippety · 2016-02-12T08:30:55+00:00

Very sorry to hear about your situation.

Women want the positives of both gender roles with none of the negatives. Like others I suggest you get a good lawyer, but unfortunately that costs money you don't have. Doesn't mean you can't try. I would fight for custody, but to be honest it doesn't look good since you are disabled. If you were a woman there would be no problem.

Females are hypergamous. They become resentful when they have to be the breadwinner. I should know: my sister's a doctor and her husband a stay at home dad and part-time real estate agent. She frequently expresses jealousy that he gets to stay home and feels inadequate as a mother. If he wasn't bringing in his own income I don't think the marriage would have lasted, and I'm skeptical that it will last much longer.

Men do not suffer from the same affliction when it comes to stay at home moms. We are happy to support our wives and children. The "Red Pill" is apparently right on this particular issue, as the divorce stats reveal. Stay-at-home husbands are divorces waiting to happen. Men love their wives in a similar fashion to the way we love our mothers; most of us would die for them. Women are very, very different. Their romantic attachments are contingent on strength and status. They "love" their husbands in the same way that we "love" our sports cars. When a man becomes weak in a marriage, it is similar to a woman becoming fat, though remarkably many men will tolerate their wives letting themselves go because the love and protective instinct is that strong. Women have that instinct toward their children, but not their partners. That is the brutal truth.

The anthropologist Robert Briffault is known for what is called Briffault's Law:

"The female, not the male, determines all the conditions of the animal family. Where the female can derive no benefit from association with the male, no such association takes place." — Robert Briffault, The Mothers, Vol. I, p. 191

Feminists are doing an enormous disservice to both men and women by pretending that our instincts are identical and that gender is purely a social construct. It isn't. Our brains are wired differently and our hormones are yin and yang.

I wish you luck despite the odds, and hope you will at least be able to achieve equal parenting with your son.

2016-02-12T15:02:18+00:00

The only good news I have for you is that, yes you have certain rights, you may qualify for free legal assistance and she may owe you alimony payments if you've been married long enough. You need to speak with an attorney about your case, ability to care for your child, your chances of obtaining child custody, as well as questions concerning divorce and child support.

Here are some links to use to find free legal resources for the indigent in the USA:

Here are some search returns for financial assistance for the disabled:

https://www.google.com/search?q=financial+resources+for+the+disabled

Best of luck, Brother.

hackableyou · 2016-02-12T07:46:25+00:00

This is what I see: like most women, she was only able to love you when you were able to provide for her. Now that you cannot offer her anything but love, she doesn't want your love.

I am sorry to hear your story and I hope you are able to find a way out of this.

cozmickid80 · 2016-02-12T05:59:25+00:00

I've been there. Fought for ssdi, got it plus back pay, then wife of 16 years split. Sadly, too many empowered women can't respect a man who can not provide. You know...gender roles and all that.
Keep your head up.

TheRavenousRabbit · 2016-02-12T10:19:43+00:00

https://fathers4kids.com/

I'd take a look at this site, I'm not sure if it's relevant to your situation but they might be able to help. I'd also research their previous activities because there have been known people who predate on vunurable fathers like you.

romniner · 2016-02-12T13:59:06+00:00

It's her choice to leave, anybody's life is what they make of it...sometimes to the detriment of others.

However, were the roles reversed you'd be paying through the nose for a long long long time for her sustainability. Do I think it's right? Absolutely not, but it is what it is.

DoItLive247 · 2016-02-12T17:12:48+00:00

DO NOT MOVE OUT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES!

Bonesteel50 · 2016-02-12T12:10:01+00:00

I feel bad for pretty much everyone in this situation. Good luck man.

Arby01 · 2016-02-12T16:38:39+00:00

I agree with everything you're saying, but maybe you shouldn't have complete custody because of your condition. No offense, what are you thoughts?

cranktheguy · 2016-02-12T11:48:11+00:00

Divorce, alimony, child support. You're the stay at home parent. You should have custody. She should move out and support you and your child. On the other hand, the disabilities you list sound more like BS tumblr conditions. Do you have an actual disability that a court would respect?

TheRavenousRabbit · 2016-02-12T10:18:21+00:00

One thing, I suggest looking up Men's Rights Groups in your area, you might find extreme amount of resources. If this go to court, you might get pro-bono lawyer help from them and etc.

mikesteane · 2016-02-12T09:33:48+00:00

You might like to research the states where you would get the most alimony and then sue for divorce in that state before she does. Go on the offensive and show you are not beaten.

probpoopin · 2016-02-12T16:58:40+00:00

Did she serve you yet? If not, get a lawyer and bust out those divorce papers ASAP! Then, serve her and you will be the petitioner, and will give you better odds at not getting screwed.

2016-02-12T18:03:32+00:00

Good luck, sound like a really tough spot to be in.

TheDude41 · 2016-02-14T06:40:57+00:00

I'll tell you what I would say to any woman in your situation: I think you have to try to get your shit together, try to get yourself appropriately treated and your life back on track.

You will need a lawyer to try to protect your custody / access to your child. This will be an uphill battle, because you are male, and courts are likely to latch on to any imperfections you may exhibit in order to provide cover for their discriminatory bias in favor of your wife.

It's unfortunate, but it sounds like your wife may be applying stereotypes to evaluating your particular situation. Marriage counseling may help. but then again may also not help.

MRA-automatron-2kb · 2016-02-12T05:35:48+00:00

I'm sorry to hear that, I hope you can find the right support and legal advice. I hope you can get alimony.

From my own experience, women aren't as loyal as men are towards women.

TheRavenousRabbit · 2016-02-12T09:47:43+00:00

Start gathering evidence for anything that you might think she will use against you so that you can prove her wrong.

TheRavenousRabbit · 2016-02-12T09:46:02+00:00

You've been fucked. One of the most unattractive things to a woman is a man who doesn't bring in resources. While your situation is terrible, the courts will not protect you. You might be able to sue for alimony, considering that she's been the breadwinner but in Texas I'm somewhat skeptical of that.

Yet, I say, get a lawyer now and see what your options are. Hopefully you can claim alimony until you've finished studying.

OneMe2RuleUAll · 2016-02-12T05:59:34+00:00

I know redpill gets a bad rap basically throughout all of reddit, but I KNOW many people will really go out of their way to assist you in any way they can with a story like this. I would suggest you cross post this there, and I wish you the best of luck.

njskypilot · 2016-02-12T15:25:07+00:00

Reminds me of a sad story from my youth. I was 18 and worked for a liquor store in NJ. Part of my job was doing deliveries. We had our regulars who would order every week. One of our regulars was a guy who would order every week sometimes two. Anyway this guy lived in a nice house by himself and because he had MS I would have to carry the box into his house. After a few times delivering we would get to talking and he would tell me bits and pieces of his life story. Well it turns out, he was divorced and his wife had left him for another man who didn't have MS. What I learned is he loved his now ex very much and that women are cold hearted bitches at times. He told me because he couldn't perform in the sack anymore that is why she left him. I learned a lot from that guy.

2016-02-12T17:07:53+00:00

Take your story to a local paper.

Terry_Bruce_Dick · 2016-02-12T07:59:59+00:00

Contemplate her position, I urge you. She is as trapped as you are.

ashlaaaaay · 2016-02-12T09:10:53+00:00

Well, I'm not sure how this relates to men's rights, aside from broad societal considerations. If you get a good lawyer, you can probably get alimony. May need to fight harder for that, and custody/ child support, than a woman would, though. Get a lawyer asap

Title	I became permanently disabled 4 years ago. My wife of 6 years says she is filing for divorce.
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	55
Comments	165
Date	February 12, 2016 4:37 AM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/45d2pv/i_became_permanently_disabled_4_years_ago_my_wife/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/i-became-permanently-disabled-4-years-ago-my-wife.956311 https://theredarchive.com/post/956311

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