So I am married, 19 years, two teens. Teens will be off to college in 5 years and I will be ready to retire in 2-5 years. My wife is a dug in SAHM, currently with no friends.

Last night my wife and 16 YO daughter got into a fight. My daughter was slacking and my wife called her on it. Things got intense and I stepped in. In the cooling down period (took a while) my wife revealed her deepest fear is abandonment. She is worried that the kids will go to college and never speak to her again. Her brother no longer speaks to her parents and I have a friend in the same place.

I am essentially resigned to the fact that divorce now is economic suicide, but after retirement, with the kids out and no income to attach we can potentially split assets and go our separate ways, especially if I don't have a job when I file papers and haven't for a while.

Part of me hopes that things will work out, but I am 80% toward the belief that it won't. If I think about the current situation, it keeps our kids in a two parent home, I get to see them everyday, and the sacrifices towards living with the woman are liveable. But the other side of me says, if its over, I should end it as soon as possible to give her the best chance to build a new, better life. But if I do that, economically, I am screwed.

Any advice?