Amicable divorce?

RideATX · 2022-09-02T13:05:55+00:00

The amicability of your divorce is 100% up to how much of an emotional nut job your STBX is... I know people that sat down at the kitchen table and worked it out for a total of $1500, and I know people who spent 200k in lawyers to end up with a very similar agreement. Girls are emotional and dumb, it sucks...

NocturnalCoder · 2022-09-02T09:00:46+00:00

I did have an amical divorce for as far I am concerned. But it did take me swallowing some pride and anger. I did it cause my kids deserve to have a peaceful divorce. It's rough enough as it is and I want to protect them from more drama/bad stuff as much as possible.

Things do work a bit different here in Europe where both me and my ex work and have a decent income. We have a 50/50 custody settlement and pay an equal amount of money into a joint kids account each month to take care of all costs relating to the kids. We also have an agreement that any spend over 100$ has to be ok'ed by both. This is purely for the extra stuff like school, clothing etc. Food and living costs are the responsibility of each parent separately (if you want to eat expensive food daily with the kids, your choice)

A legal financial agreement is mandatory here when you divorce (Belgium). I personally feel this is a great thing and avoids surprises or "being a checkbook". You calculate and agree upfront a situation until you both agree and that is that. no more worries or surprises

Psychological-Net-62 · 2022-09-03T03:36:43+00:00

I would say both yes and no...

... someone always ends up having their feelings hurt during the process though, it's truly unavoidable. My STBXW is the one who brought up the divorce, decided to file, wanted to speed things along, and now is upset because our relationship is ending.

... yep. You heard that right. She legitimately is walking around acting heartbroken because she filed for divorce. I am mostly confused because she ends up making me feel like I made the decision and then I realize it wasn't my doing at all.

Ultimately, if you have kids you need to be civil for their sake. If you are kidless, walk away with the clean brake and be as amicable as possible.

mrk177 · 2022-09-02T15:30:04+00:00

I divorced amicably but my circumstances were a lot different then you. 1. We both worked and made very close to the same amount of money. 2. We had separate bank accounts and a house account so splitting finances was a breeze. 3. She was open to keep the house or moving. I wanted to keep the house because I’d had a large investment in the home so I paid her out her equity, again easy. 4. Neither of us did anything to hurt the other person we just couldn’t make it work. We tried hard too.

We have two girls together and that worked well too. We split custody down the middle and the schedule works well.

With that said I think it’s important to still talk to a lawyer, I did and glad I did. He said my best path was amicable based on our circumstances.

The hardest thing for me was losing her in my life, we weren’t compatible but I still loved her deeply.

Good luck, I hope everything works for the best.

akihonj · 2022-09-02T17:21:27+00:00

Yes it does exist in fact a few of my friends managed to do just that. In their case though the wife earn as much as they did and they were smart enough to, if not fully protect themselves before the wedding, force an equal relationship throughout.

So shared costs equally and shared expenses equally, heavily reduced the wife's ability to claim she needed any form of support during the divorce.

playerknowmore · 2022-09-02T18:12:40+00:00

I think the money saved me from divorce. Wife wanted separation I opted for divorce. She wanted to move across country, and my kids wanted to stay with me.I think she did the math and decided it was cheaper to keep me.

I was firm on only paying what the court demanded. She was on that bullshit that I didn't do enough around the house. Still not doing that shit

No_Analyst_9131 · 2022-09-02T16:13:23+00:00

I had an amicable divorce. We sat down, each had a glass of wine (not recommended if you both get aggressive with alcohol) and basically came to the conclusion that we both would be best served just leaving with our respective retirement accounts, vehicles, etc. It was helped by the fact that we never had combined accounts, as well as the fact that we both made the same amount. Not having kids was also a saving grace, since that seems to be the most contentious part of divorces.

Make sure you lawyer up even if things are amicable, you definitely don't need any last minute surprises.

captainchippsixx · 2022-09-02T18:59:45+00:00

Yes. Absolutely

pk2at · 2022-09-02T16:31:03+00:00

I am having one, but amicability is only on the money. Almost every state has simplified procedures if you can agree on assets and alimony

StoneyRocksInMySocks · 2022-09-02T16:37:52+00:00

My parents had an amicable divorce after 30 years of marriage. However, my sibling and I were grown and out of the house. I was not shocked because I noticed there were issues as a kid. They basically stayed together because of my sibling and I.

I have two young kids, but do not anticipate any issues with filing for an uncontested divorce.

Title	Amicable divorce?
Author	Disastrous-Sink-7277
Upvotes	10
Comments	18
Date	September 2, 2022 8:50 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/x3wfef/amicable_divorce/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/amicable-divorce.1130391 https://theredarchive.com/post/1130391

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