This is going to be a very long night. I hate when nights like this happen. All of the feelings of self-doubt, regret for wasting 20 years of my life, for being stabbed in the back, taken advantage of, feeling useless and just a general feeling of shame and depression.

I am a failure, that is honest truth. I am a failure at love, marriage, and all around just broken. These are the nights where I truly understand why men Self-Delete during divorce. I failed and my primary goal of being a man, even to have the one you would have died for say “you never did anything for me loser!”

Much like Batman, climbing out of the hole, just when I thought I was going to emerge I get beaten down and reminded of my flaws. I still have hope. Hope that I will make it out of this pit and taste the sweet air of freedom and walk as a slave no more. Doesn’t make this journey any easier. Keep the faith brothers. Nights like this will come and the best thing we can do is endure the pain and heartache. Tomorrow will be a new day and life will get better. It has to.